I need thoughts on a topic for UC prompt #1

College Essays
1

My world revolves around moving from place to place. A lot. The inability to make friends due to my introverted personality and the constant moving turned me into a rather dismissive, arrogant person by the time I was in the 9th grade. I hated the lifestyle. This leads to a lack excessive extracurricular’s and volunteering, due to me not seeing the importance of it, the opposite of what someone would expect from a higher-achieving student.

However, deep down I knew this was wrong and by junior year, when the phase slowly came to go away, I tried to volunteer. My experiences from volunteering ended up turning my life around, learning that commitment is key to establishing the long term relationships that could have helped me so long ago, and I will continue to pursue this level of commitment in other areas etc.

Is this topic a turn-off for essay readers?

2

The way you stated the causal relationship is a little stiff. I doubt it was your introvertedness and moving that created your arrogance. Your arrogance was probably a defensive mechanism to prevent you from establishing relationships.

Take full responsibility, talk about what made you step out of your comfort zone and how it changed your life. It will be a great story!

3

Wow, that actually takes it in a much better direction. Thank you so much for replying!

4

Keep in mind: the point here is to give them a reason to say yes.

Don’t be overly harsh with your old persona.