<p>These past two weeks have been a complete nightmare. I spent all summer trying to decide whether I should stay home and commute to my state school for my second year of college or go back to the small Christian university I had gone to my freshman year. Last minute, I decided to go back to my original college, even though I was still largely unsure and part of me still wanted to stay home. </p>
<p>Well besides JUST going back to school, I also signed up to do a semester abroad in the mountains thinking that a change of pace would help how I was feeling about my college. Well that DID NOT work out. This weekend I called home begging for my parents to get me out of there. So my dad drove seven hours into the location we were at and picked me up, and spent this weekend helping me move into an apartment at my school's main campus. </p>
<p>When he left earlier today, I literally spent hours sobbing non-stop. I have NEVER cried that much in my entire life. All I want to do is go home. I don't even care if I have to take this semester off. I'll go home and work and study to CLEP out of classes and figure my life out - I just don't want to be here. I can't force myself to do an entire semester here. I should've had him take me home - but my parents just act like me taking a semester off is like throwing my life away. They get so mad every time I bring it up, but I have to do whats right for ME right?</p>
<p>So now let me get to my question. I have $250 in my bank account. I have an apartment full of my things. I need to fly from California to Nevada extremely CHEAPLY. I need to figure out a way to have most of my stuff shipped to me cheaply. And I need to come up with an excuse to give my parents when I get home. I plan on selling all my textbooks to get more money, and I'll need to withdraw from the university and hopefully still get a refund. The ADD/DROP deadline was on Friday, but considering that I want to drop my classes the following Monday, they might make an exception for me.</p>
<p>You will not be getting a full refund (if anything at all). </p>
<p>You will be paying out of the nose for a time sensitive airline flight. You have to at least book a couple weeks in advance to get a good rate.</p>
<p>Priorty Mail flat rate boxes might be the way to go to ship your boxes. It just depends on the length and width of your items.</p>
<p>Considering you only have $250, you are in a bad situation.</p>
<p>Do you have a plan when you arrive home? How are you going to pay for your expenses? </p>
<p>Don’t make excuses to your parents. Tell them how you really feel and they will have a better chance at understanding your issues than if you come up with excuses.</p>
<p>What’s your question? I don’t see a question in that last paragraph.</p>
<p>Anyway, the whole thing sounds like a bad idea. I assume you are in school in California and you need to get back to Nevada, with all of your stuff? For $250? Not happening by airplane. </p>
<p>You have to sleep in the bed you made, or however the saying goes.</p>
<p>“A student who, for any reason, finds it necessary to withdraw from the university during the course of the semester must do so through the Office of Communiversity. The student must complete the University Withdrawal form. Failure to comply with these regulations results in failing grades entered on the student’s record and a dishonorable dismissal.”</p>
<p>Can’t you stick it out for the semester? Isn’t it better to try to stick it out, focus on your academics, and end the semester with stellar grades rather than having failures on your transcript? </p>
<p>Take a breath. Get a good night’s sleep. Re-evaluate in the morning. Try to see this semester through. You’ll be home for Thanksgiving and before you know it, the semester will be over. By completing the semester and earning good grades, you’ll have a better chance of transferring into a different college at a later date. Leaving and being given “F’s”
for not completing the classes will hurt you down the road.</p>
<p>As others have said, you’re not doing any of this for $250… or even $250 + the money you get from selling your textbooks back (note- your school bookstore might have a harsh policy on accepting books back past the drop date).</p>
<p>2- you’re not going to get a full refund if you drop past the friday.</p>
<p>If I was you, I’d just stick out the semester. There is no way it’s THAT bad that you have to go home NOW.</p>
<p>You sound like someone who just keeps running when things get uncomfortable. I read some of your other posts and I am wondering if you have ADHD. It sounds like you are searching for something in hopes of finding the “perfect place”. This place only exists when you can be more accepting of who you are and where you want to be. You have been at two schools already and once again you want to flee. It must be exhausting to never settle down and find comfort. Please consider getting evaluated for ADHD because after reading many of your posts it really sounds like this may be what is causing this type of thinking. BTW you may really want to reconsider leaving again, before you know it the time is passing and you will have little to show for all of this turmoil you are putting yourself through. If college is not for you than consider finishing this paid for semester and than go and get a full time job and work. Good luck and I hope you realize that throwing away your parents money seems a bit selfish and foolish.</p>
<p>bahaha, so she either needs to be put on Ritalin or antidepressants because she isn’t conforming to the system.</p>
<p>To the OP, I know exactly how you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you to just stick it out if you feel it inside that you do not belong there. Drop out now, figure out things from there.</p>
<p>Surfergirl: I really do feel for you. You sound so confused and are having such difficulty growing up. I too wonder if this is ADHD but it sounds like way more than ADHD meds could fix. I also wonder if there has been another source of trauma in your life that you are running from?? You absolutely must get some professional help. Go to the counseling office today! And instead of going home, stay in the apartment. Get a part-time job and take of a couple of classes part-time. Especially since you’re not going to get all of your money back anyway. I just don’t think going home will fix anything. In fact it will just reinforce that every time things get bad you think you can just run home to Mommy and Daddy. You need to start growing up and figuring things out on your own. Most kids your age are embracing their independence. You need to figure out why you can’t or won’t.</p>
<p>distressed…I never mentioned medication but if you read some of the OP’s other posts there is a history of running away from situations. This behavior certaining warrents further examination that only a professional could deliver. </p>
<p>OP you sound like you have very nice parents who have provided many nice opportunities for you to find yourself…now it is up to you to avail yourself to the professionals at your school who may be able to shed some light as to why you seem to be dissatisfied.</p>
<p>I went back and read many of the OP’s other posts. Boy–that’s some history of never following through on anything. Quit a good job. Quit sorority. Transferred out of first school because she wanted to move away and find herself. Decided to do a semester in the mountains, but quit. Now back on campus and wants to quit again.</p>
<p>Initially, I felt bad for you. Now, I think you’re just a self-centered kid who doesn’t want to face up to responsibilities. You can’t stay a kid forever. Grow up and deal with life. Stop running away when things don’t go exactly as you had envisioned. Welcome to the real world. </p>
<p>If you intend to be a capable member of society, you need to learn to deal with the crap as well as the good stuff in life. Does it really make sense to blow all of the money invested in this semester? Follow through with something for a change and finish what you started. After the semester is over, then go ahead and withdraw if that’s what you want. </p>
<p>What is your plan after you quit college again? Are you going to sponge off your parents?
You obviously have a history of quitting things when the fun is gone. Working and living with your parents is going to get old very quickly. Then what? Where are you going to run this time?</p>
<p>Time to grow up. Stop running away from everything when things get difficult. Face life
head on. Finish out the semester. Figure out why you make decisions based on what you want at the moment rather than what’s best in the long run. Visit the counseling center at the college and get some help.</p>
<p>I also wonder if there’s a bit of a “drama queen” syndrome going on here. OP sounds like she has almost become addicted to the excitement, drama and attention that is generated every time she wants to make a change. IMO people like this are generally extremely emotionally insecure and immature. Somehow they’ve tied their self-worth to the amount of drama they can create. Who knows maybe she didn’t get a lot of attention growing up and has found a great way to get all kinds of it now.</p>
<p>I vaguely remember your other posts, and I agree with the sentiment many have expressed.</p>
<p>You left your first school to find yourself and figure things out. You still haven’t done so. </p>
<p>The way I see your situation now, there seem to be two possibilities:</p>
<p>You’re stuck on the idea of some perfect situation/reality that is never going to happen, and you think it only takes being in the right place to “find yourself” (a BS phrase to begin with) you keep hiding behind this idea of finding yourself, and it’s not going to happen. Stick with someone for once, get professional help if necessary.</p>
<p>Option 2: You know deep down what you truly want to be doing with your life. I don’t mean just being at home, I mean maybe some sort of dream or passion you’re afraid to admit to yourself, so you’re looking for an excuse to finally pursue this. If this is the case, and it doesn’t seem to be, just do what you want to do. And I don’t mean leave school with your 250 dollars, I mean do what you truly want to do with your life from where you are .</p>
<p>I don’t know whats wrong with me. Maybe I do need professional help. I just want to be at home more than anything in the world right now. </p>
<p>I have no direction. No plan. No goals. I have no motivation for anything I’m doing. And I’m not dumb or bad at school. I’ve always done really well academically. That’s part of the reason my parents are so confused and disappointed in me. They think I’m just throwing my life away. </p>
<p>I’m just so sad right now that words can’t explain it. I’m homesick and lonely and feel like I have no one and nothing in the entire world. I feel like I have no home. I know that going home isn’t going to be great, but can it be worse than being stuck here?</p>
<p>Umm, this doesn’t sound like ADHD at all to me. That’s such an over-diagnosed illness, and it’s definitely not one I would go around telling people that’s what they must have.</p>
<p>I definitely know how you feel, OP. I’ve had a lot of bad luck finding out where I feel comfortable, what’s good for me. I’ve jumped into big situations that just weren’t for me. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. No way are you going to like everything you try. </p>
<p>I think what you’re feeling now is maybe a kind of sense of shock. You tried to do study abroad and failed, so maybe you just aren’t sure how to deal with that. It’s perfectly okay to miss your home and miss family, especially when you know that’s where you’ll feel most comfortable. </p>
<p>What I would do is this: talk to a counsellor at your school about this situation. Try to find an answer other than dropping out. Maybe a less intense course load would help. If you’re feeling completely overwhelmed, look for a job around your school and maybe drop to being half-time (make SURE you check to see what this will do to your financial aid! Usually it’ll mess it up. So make SURE you talk to an advisor about this!). Then it might not feel so much like being in school, plus you can make money. That way you have a way home next semester, and if need be, drop out then.</p>
<p>You definitely don’t want to go through life being miserable. You have so much time ahead of you, and you’ll have so many choices that you’ll be making. Not all of them will work out, but that’s okay. You just have to learn how to deal with those situations that don’t work out in a reasonable manner. Sometimes that means just quitting, sometimes that means fighting back to overcome the problem :)</p>
<p>“I know that going home isn’t going to be great, but can it be worse than being stuck here?”</p>
<p>Sure it can be worse. Most kids your age are away at school. Living with your parents is going to become old very quickly for you. Their rules. Their home. No sense of independence. It won’t take long for you to feel trapped.</p>
<p>You can’t keep running from one situation to another. For the first time in your life, why not stop the drama and really try to follow through with the semester. Take advantage of the fact that you are surrounded by peers (rather than by your parents). Take advantage of the fact that you can go to the counseling center in complete privacy. Take advantage of the academic opportunities and explore a wide variety of classes and guest lectures. Let this be your first step in taking responsibility and following through with something.</p>
<p>If you still want to leave at the end of the semester, you have that option. By staying and completing your current semester, you can leave with at least some sense of personal pride knowing that you followed through with the task and didn’t resort to immediately running away when things became less perfect than what you had imagined. </p>
<p>Use this semester as the beginning of your journey to figure out why you can’t commit to anything. Use this semester to take advantage of the free counseling at the school. Use this semester to prove to yourself that you can handle what life throws at you. Stop running. Go to the counseling center.</p>
<p>Get a job, earn some money, figure things out. Promise yourself that you will KEEP you job for a reasonable about of time (at least 6 months?), no matter what. If you are confused, at least make some cash rather than spending it.</p>
<p>If you stay at school, I second nysmile’s suggestion to avail yourself of your school’s free counseling service.</p>