Honestly, you seem to understand how severe it is to copy directly.
While I feel pretty confident you won’t again, I see two uncomfortable consequences of what’s already happened:
- In spite of understanding the potential consequences, you plagiarized anyway.
- You decided to lie to you teacher, despite obviously feeling deeply opposed.
Please don’t lie to any authority figure; even an otherwise strict teacher can be a wonderful ally. If you feel anxious, contact them via email or in class and ask targeted questions directly on the source. Somewhat understanding their interpretation will likely help you know what they want you to look for, and may give you a foundation for analysis.
Keeping clean, purposeful lecture notes may also help glean key points for writing assignments. If necessary, ask a peer what they got out of any pre-assignment discussion!
Also, please try to figure out what drove you to do this stuff. If you have any history of anxiety or acting out under pressure, you could consider talking with your parents/teacher/other important authority on easing stress in your life. If not, you should probably try stress-relieving activities independently (like yoga or something).
good luck, yo, and be careful not to let your anxieties drive you to poor choices in the future. giving you a low-er stakes place to get these yayas out is pretty much the ancillary purpose of our school system, and this incident should be a lesson for your future plans in academia, the business world, and maybe even relationships