I know it’s long, but I’d appreciate it if you guys read what I had to say!
I’m 21 and really feel like I’ve missed out on the college party scene, even though I’ve still got at least a year and a half left of undergrad. I’m in college full time, but I have never been one to party, even dating back to high school. In high school, my friend group was the group that did party and ended up becoming the “frat stars” once they got to college. I was not one of them. I felt like I was missing out in high school, and I feel like I’m missing out again in college. I don’t really know what I should do differently. I didn’t end up going to a Big10 school like most of my friends; I instead chose a local, smaller university because I felt it better suited my shielded personality. There isn’t much Greek life here or much of a party scene, and I feel like I’ve missed out on it.
When watching movies that take place in college, it really makes me think about how much I’m missing out on. I want to be the guy who just gets wasted and has no other cares in the world. I want to be the guy who has random hook ups. I want to be the guy who can just go crazy. I want to be like in the movies, and like my friends, but something’s just holding me back. Obviously the movies make everything seem amazing, but I can see from pictures from friends, things I over hear, and just the general vibe that these parties are tons of fun. I feel like it’s too late for a change, but I don’t want this to be how my college career ends.
Not really sure where I’m going with this little rant of mine, but I just kinda wanted to hear some of your stories and maybe gain some advice or insight on the situation. Thanks in advance guys.
Try going to a party. There must be some at your school and see what you are missing. You will probably find out that you are not really missing anything. Something about the partying scene is obviously not comfortable to you, and that discomfort may be better judgement. The guys who “get wasted and have no cares in the world” often get in big trouble when they are inebriated, and having a history of “random hook ups” is not such a cool thing in reality and actually can be rather dangerous (i.e., STDs, unwanted pregnancies, accusations of date rape just to name a few). Guys screaming and raising heck from balconies or puking for hours after overdoing it is not such a glamorous site.
You’re 21. Do you have your own apartment? Do you have friends at college? If so, throw your own party. Invite everyone you know, allow them to bring their friends, make it BYOB (although provide plenty of booze), and have fun.
Are there any bars catering to a 20 something crowd around your school? If so, invite your friends to go out to them and have an awesome night.
Personally I think most open frat parties are extremely overrated and basically a way for freshmen women to get free booze. Remember, movies and social media don’t accurately represent college life.
When these “friends” are out “partying”…what are you doing? Most likely you are doing something that your “shielded” personality likes.
When I was in college and people were getting passed-out drunk, I didn’t see the point. We would have dinner with friends or see the on-campus movie or go to smaller parties.
Do you really want to be a “frat star” or do you think you should want to be?
Hey OP, I totally get you although I do not study in the U.S, luckily for me I have 2 really great friends with whom I go out with from time to time at bars(there is no house party scene or greek life in this country).
I kind of got over it, college is what you make it up to be and you still have 1 more year to make up for it but you got to ask yourself if it really is what you want.
Most probably you’ll go to a party, drink a lot and if you’re lucky - hook up. Do that multiple times and ask yourself if it’s as fun as it was the first time you did it.
If I would sum up my college experience it would most probably go like this:
1st year of college: School --> Dorm --> School —> Weekend --> 3 hour shuttle to my home town. Eventually study for exams.
2nd year of college(it was much better,had a friend studying in the same city): School --> Dorm —> School --> Weekend --> go out with friend. (repeat that for a few times and sometimes going to my hometown)
I’m currently in my last year, and I can honestly say that it was really mediocre but when I think about it there couldn’t have been a better outcome. The reason i’m saying this is because the environment didn’t give me the possibility to enjoy myself more(People here aren’t as sociable as in the U.S).
There are a few solutions to your problem though like extracurricular clubs for meeting people, tinder for dates and hookups,and since you’re 21 you can go to a bar and try to talk with strangers.
Don’t blame yourself, you’re no missing out on much no matter how amazing some stories might seem.
I get where you’re coming from and I wish I had more of an experience like that as a freshman. Instead, I was at a community college where people I hung out from high school constantly tried to take up my time, get me to do drugs, and really just screwed up my whole life plans at that point. They eventually dropped out and I was able to get my head on straight and salvage what I could of my GPA.
Now that I’m 25, not 21 and have graduated, I definitely wish I had more fun in college. When I transferred, I spent a good amount of time studying and doing nothing. Occasionally I’d invite friends over to drink, but I never did anything crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever let myself go have fun. Now that I’m working, it’s a pretty miserable experience because there just aren’t those type of opportunities available anymore. Everyone goes their separate ways and you have real world problems of urban survival - job, rent, bills…I have way more problems to handle per day than I ever had in a single day in college. Life feels more restricted after college. It’s hard to catch a break.
I’m kind of in the same boat except my situation is a little different. I’ve lived with my parents through my college years, stayed in state to go to school and saved myself lots of money. I finished at the main campus this year, tomorrow is my last official school day then I have exams for 3 days next week and that’s it I’m done and graduated. When I look back I don’t have any regrets about not partying. When I don’t have to be at the main campus for class or meetings I just wasn’t there. I really didn’t make any friends in college and haven’t really stayed in contact with anyone from high school. I was always someone that likes to be very private don’t like partying not very social etc. And I didn’t change that in college and try to be someone I’m not and I’m fine with that. I didn’t live on campus and I only paid around 28k for my school (14 of it was in 1 year, this year) and I paid it all myself through work. I got out without having one loan through my whole college career. I’m not at all disappointed I missed the social aspect of life because I kept myself out of debt. I guess it’s a tradeoff and from my perspective I’m glad I have no weight on me to find a job right away. I still do have my summer job that I’m going to do for another year, and I keep all that money this year, that’s how I paid my school but this year it stays with me.
You are still young its never too late! Being an introvert myself, i know what you mean! Sometimes you have to push yourself to talk to strangers/go to a party,but on the other hand do you want to be 80 years old and say Wow, I didn’t take advantage of my youth!
You don’t need to party to have fun… just have a few close friends and hang out 
My son is still in HS. One of his acquaintances, not exactly a friend but someone he knew for years, went to a concert at a college, partied with alcohol, and hooked up.
Problem is, he was arrested for rape and other sexual assault related crimes because she said no multiple times and he ignored her (according to court records released publicly). He is a senior in HS supposed to be having the best time of his life, but apparently partying was more important than common sense.
You need to look at yourself and decide - do you want to risk destroying your life? A lot of campuses have alcohol-free zones where you can party and not risk the results of bad judgement.
“The movies” make everything seem great. And then the actors and actresses go home and make another movie without dealing with the results of what happened in the movies.
I can totally get where you’re coming from because there have been many times when I’ve wanted to stop having control of everything and let loose even if only for a few hours. If you’re careful, it isn’t so bad once in a while. But like many people have already said, it’s not a bad thing that you haven’t gone out to party and honestly, it’s not always as great as the movies make it. Your typical frat parties can be crowded and kind of sleazy. Sure you find people to hook up with, but you also run the risk of running into major trouble(as a guy, you’d be dealing with drugs, infections and rape/rape accusation cases).
It’s totally not too late to get involved. Since you’re 21, you get the added bonus of throwing a party yourself. I’d recommend doing that, and letting people know that you’ve got something going on. Ask your friends on Wednesdays/Thursdays if they know of anything going on around campus. Just be careful, and always always always always include your friends in your plans. If they’re good people, they’ll help with making sure that nothing goes horribly wrong. It can be very easy to cross the fine line between fun and dangerous.
It’s not too late, you need to make friends and get out some more. I’ve got it out of my system so by the time I was 25, I didn’t care for any more parties because I went to lots of parties from 17-22.