<p>I was accepted to all the schools that I applied to but one. I chose a small private school on the other side of the country because of the generous scholarship they gave me. I visited and it seems like an okay place--very pretty, nice enough students (I only spoke to about five,) decent reputation. Here's the thing: I hate school. I've always hated school. I even left my public high school for a year and tried an online school, but my parents were worried that it would hurt my college prospects and forced me to return to my high school. I hate pointless work, I hate indifferent teachers, I hate the pressure to go to college, and most of all I hate the social atmosphere and the petty high school antics. I'm afraid college will be no different. More work, more stress, more trying to fit in. These people will only be two or three years removed from high school--how much could they have changed, really? I'm not a "bad" student. I'm smart enough and I stay out of trouble and that's probably the only reason I made it through high school. But I hated it. And I know I will hate college. And what's more--now I'm all on my own. I'm going all the way across the country to an uncertain and probably bleak future. It's all very depressing. I'd rather get a job waiting tables and stay here where I know I have friends and family. I'd rather get an associate's degree (only 2 years of schooling) and take the pay cut. I hate formal education. I always have.
But how do I convince my parents that I college isn't right for me?</p>
<p>Mom, Dad, I’ve been thinking about next fall, and you know, I really don’t want to go that far away yet. I also don’t have any particular career goals and I hate the thought of you shelling out all that money. So what I’d like to do is take a Gap Year, get a job, make some money, and think about what I’d like to do with my life. I could even take a couple of classes at the community college and explore some career options that I haven’t had time for while I was in high school. Waddya think?</p>
<p>^ Excellent advice. I couldn’t have said it better myself.</p>
<p>There’s always the military.</p>
<p>Agree with Happymom. It really sounds like you need a break. Nothing wrong with a gap year at all. If you are already uncertain about college, then it seems as if going all the way across country would be a big mistake. My oldest son is very bright but really hated high school for many of the same reasons you listed He opted for a few classes at a time at whatever CC he was living near, and working almost full time in construction. He finally decided to finish up at a 4-year, but it took him awhile. By the time he transferred he found his major classes were much more interesting.</p>
<p>alc710, if you are hating school primarily because of the work and stress involved then I agree that staying home and going to a community college would be the way to go. You can get your education at your own pace and work at the same time. But if you are dreading that the campus social scene will be too much like high school, I would not let that deter you from your own personal goals. From what I read on this board, I think more and more college bound students are feeling the same way and you just might find some kindred spirits. The realities of the U.S. economy and the extreme competitiveness of the job market make partying away the college years an unintelligent choice. </p>
<p>If you do decide to go away my advice would be to plan on staying on campus for one year to see how it goes, and then move off campus if the social scene is not to your liking. I know I will give my own children that option after their freshman year. In many cases it is actually less expensive and I see no value in forcing someone to stay in an environment that is not optimal for them. I think you should talk to your parents about your concerns. I think you have shown a lot of personal maturity by defining your issues beforehand.</p>
<p>hate pointless work, I hate indifferent teachers, I hate the pressure to go to college, and most of all I hate the social atmosphere and the petty high school antics</p>
<p>College usually isn’t like that. Profs don’t usually assign “busy work,” like many K-12 teachers do. College kids don’t usually behave like cliquish high schoolers.</p>
<p>I think you should at least give this school a try because you have the merit scholarship. If you don’t like it AFTER A YEAR, then leave. But if you don’t go now, you may never get those scholarship offers again.</p>
<p>alc710 – You sound a lot like me at that age. Although I was an excellent student and went to decent schools, I also hated school. It was all downhill after Kindergarten. I didn’t like the social atmosphere, which was not a comfortable scene for introverts, and I also disliked the regimentation of walking through the halls, sitting in a seat for an hour, standing in line in the cafeteria, going to lockers, etc. I’d rather have been at home, building forts, playing with my dog, reading books, or daydreaming. I am very close to my family, and my home was my refuge.</p>
<p>I went to a large public university in my state and I LOVED it. First, I wasn’t that far from home, so I could go home when I wanted. However, I found that I liked staying on campus. There were sporting events, plays, and lectures to attend. Most classes were very interesting, with super professors and intellectual classmates, and there was so much more choice. I found more people with whom I had things in common, yet I could be anonymous when I wanted. It was the first time I’d ever enjoyed formal education.</p>
<p>If you go on to college, you will probably have a completely different experience in college than you have had in high school. I have met so many people who hated high school and loved college. </p>
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<p>This concerns me. Please don’t pack up and go off across the country, at least not yet, if you dread it so much. I agree with the recommendation to take a year off. Can you do that and still keep the scholarship? That would buy you some time.</p>
<p>Are you just feeling exhausted and tired of the high school scene (something that a year off might address), or do your concerns about a “probably bleak future” and “all very depressing” go further than that? If you’re really that down, please think about community college instead. That would give you some options. You could stop with a two-year degree, but you could also go on to transfer to a four-year university. </p>
<p>Hugs to you. I know this is hard. Please let us know what you decide.</p>
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<p>Well there’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.</p>
<p>However, college is nothing like high school. You should take your scholarship, pry open your mind, which currently is tightly closed with preconceived notions about an experience you haven’t had yet, and step out into the world. </p>
<p>You can always wait tables if it doesn’t work out. You most likely can’t reclaim your scholarship once you realize that waiting tables full time is not going to be enjoyable.</p>
<p>Alc</p>
<p>I agree with Happymom. If your school will allow you to defer for a year, and will hold your scholarship for you, I recommend this.</p>
<p>I would also recommend that you get whatever job you are qualified for now. I recommend that you find a place to live on your own, and that you support yourself with this job. Somewhere through that year, decide whether the amount of money you expect to earn in a career without a college diploma is sufficient (NOTE – I’m being serious and recognize that for many, the answer may be yes). If it is, and this is the life you want to live, then you will be a self-supporting member of society and are entitled to make your own decision.</p>
<p>If not, hopefully your scholarship will be there after a year. If you do take a gap year and the scholarship is not available, then you have to figure out how you will pay for college. If your parents can’t afford to make up the difference from what you lose in a scholarship, then you have to figure out how to make up the difference.</p>
<p>Essentially, these are your choices.</p>
<p>If you’re just nervous, i agree with many here, i hated hated high school and loved college. So much less petty. But if you’re truly distraught, i agree with happymom above.</p>