Hey everyone!
I really need some help. I am about two weeks away from starting college at a big university. My senior year of high school I committed to playing college soccer. I ended up signing and went on all the visits, but ultimately decided it wasn’t what I wanted and actually decommitted. Everyone just went for preseason, one girl being my best friend and the rest of the girls I all met and know. I’m having trouble now because I have everyone on social media as I was kind of part of the team being committed. Every time I see their posts I feel left out and I feel like I completely made the wrong decision. I feel like I wanna be there experiencing everything they are, and there is nothing I can do about it. I don’t wanna be miserable my next for years of college and live with his regret.
Thanks to everyone who answers!
Trust yourself, and the reasons you relied on when you decided that you wanted your college experience to be broader than just sport and academics. In a couple weeks, when you are on campus as a freshman, doing orientation with all the other freshman, experiencing new things, and having the time and opportunity to explore all kinds of new things, you will see the “upside” of your decision. Use these last few weeks to enjoy your high school friends, family, squeeze in all the other “last summer before college” things you wanted to do. And remember, social media only shows us the good stuff – it’s not going to remind us about puking after fitness tests, or the blazing heat and humidity during two-a-days, or the upper class students who are elbowing you out to make sure they keep their starting spot.
When you decided not to play soccer in college, you did it for a good reason; something told you it wasn’t for you. Trust that small voice that you heard in your heart back then. Yes, your friends are going to appear to be having a great time being on a team, but you may not be privy to all the other stuff that they are going through… difficult teammates, tough/unfair coaches, challenges juggling school work and sports, squeezing in a social life, not getting enough sleep, etc. There are many athletes who commit to play sports and quit a year or two later for these reasons. You may feel left out right now but as Midwestmomofboys said, once you start school, and start getting involved in other activities, you are going to be glad you stuck with your decision. The next few weeks are going to be tough as you are bombarded with photos/posts on social media. Stay away from social media if you can. Remember what they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. And hey, you can always join a club soccer team and still play without the huge time commitment. I always believe things happen for a reason and I strongly believe you de-committed yourself for a reason. You WILL look back and say “thank goodness I didn’t commit”
Good luck and enjoy your college experience.
I know it must be hard now. I am guessing that since you were recruited, you had been playing with a higher-level club team and that soccer was a big part of your life. You have a lot going on right now- you are starting college in a whole new place, you are watching your friends leave to play soccer, and you are adjusting to your life not revolving around soccer. In a few weeks, you will be doing orientation and meeting all kinds of new people. You will be very busy and will find plenty to do to fill the time you used to spend playing soccer. Since you are probably used to staying very busy, be sure to look for some activities that will help you meet new people. One thing to consider is maybe trying out for your school’s club team. It would be a much lighter schedule and give you a chance to stay involved in soccer w/o being overwhelmed.
Is it the same university? If yes, you could contact the coach to see if you can walk-on - you would only miss pre-season.
Thanks everyone… I’m definitely trying out for club and I think one I get to school and make my own friends and have my own things to do I’ll be happy with everything.
It’s a different school, I switched from small school to big.
Club at a big school can have both the same skill level and a real feel of team commitment so all good!
Your College probably have a soccer team.
Good Luck.