I regret the college I chose

Understood. My S19 was waitlisted at Harvard and Columbia until summer! He ended up at our local U, Pitt. He didn’t want to go there but realized with their merit offer it was a no brainer. Now he’s sitting with a 4.0 GPA in 2 degrees, a top 1/% MCAT score and zero debt. You bet he’s applying to the top tier med schools, which actually includes Pitt Med School. My point is, he got over the feelings of going to his local U very quickly bc it made no sense to pay full-ride to a private college, his other option (he was accepted to Carnegie Mellon for $75K a year)

Accept where you are or transfer, right?

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Are you in the Honors college or participating in a leadership-type program? Have you met with professors to see what opportunities are there?

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In my 30s, I was told by a guy I was dating that I would never make it to Company A because the school I’d gone to was not an Ivy (yes, a compete jerk, and that I was even dating him is another story).

Ten years later I was at Company A. He never got there and is now dead.

A blunt way of saying that if you allow others to define you - schools or people - you sink to their level.

Be the leader, not the follower.

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Nothing at all wrong with a flagship: that is the best public school in your state – the pride of your state government and many of the people – and if you are saving money, that speaks to your maturity and shrewdness. You didn’t want to imperil your family’s finances, which is very thoughtful of you. You should be patting yourself on the back, but since you aren’t, I will.

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It is hard for some people to get over a “grass is always greener” mindset - which I feel social media is much worse!

A top 10 school does have other significant drawbacks other than just cost. My kid is currently at one and has been rejected over and over and over for clubs/societies etc, to the point of it significantly impacting their self-esteem, and enjoyment of college/life. Don’t assume the “opportunities” of such an institution are available to every student. Almost everything has very limited slots/numbers.

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I can tell you it doesn’t matter . I work in programming. I went to a regional state university. I’ve had job interviews with Amazon, Google, USAA, and several top fortune 500 companies for a lot of high paid positions. The degree only teaches you enough to get started in a career. The rest is up to you. Smart talented people are successful because they’re smart and talented. That far supersedes where you go to college.

Transferring for the sake of prestige works fine in the professional world where the end result is more salary. That’s an asset. It’s the opposite for you. It’s more liability for the same accredited bachelors degree. That’s a situation that rarely ends well. That’s a bad way to start a career.

My advice, love the school that loves you back. Get top grades, because you have more opportunity to stand out. That leads to internships and amazing job opportunities. You have a bright career ahead of you.

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OP, I get where you are coming from, especially as you’re still close to the decision point. If you tell people you go to Yale, their reaction is something along the lines of “Wow, you must be smart!” If you tell them you go to Ohio State, it’s “Go Buckeyes!” But you are still the same smart person.

It’s hard to stop caring about what people think or even to realize that often they don’t think about it at all. Part of becoming a happy, well-adjusted adult is learning to make your own choices, including the extent to which the opinions of others - real or perceived- can impact your happiness.

Seize the opportunities you can where you are, presumably as you did in high school. Do this in and out of the classroom. It doesn’t sound like you are unhappy, just wondering if what you have passed up was better. I think that’s normal, but ultimately unproductive.

What might have been is always an interesting thought avenue, but don’t let it get in the way of making the most of what is. You can still end up in the same places, just with different experiences for these 4 years.

Btw, check out the movie Past Lives. It has a really beautiful way of framing how we think of what might have been.

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Two things:
A. you’re as good as anybody at the “T-10” college, and you are not even close to being the only person attending your present colleges who was accepted to a so-called “T-10” college. So you are just as “smart” as anybody at the “T-10” college.

B. Financial aid was poor, meaning that you would have had to go into debt. A good thing to remember is that the average time for a student to finish an undergraduate degree is 4-5 years. The average time to pay off student loans is 20 + years.

There is absolutely nothing “less” about making financially and socially smart decisions.

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OP vanished. Hopefully fully ensconced at school.

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I’ve been playing this fun game at work recently. I’ve been looking up on LinkedIn people who I really respect for their intelligence, grit, teamwork and just sheer ability to get stuff done in an organization. As you may have guessed, there is no rhyme or reason to what school they went to. Completely irrelevant.

However, I do commiserate with OP’s conflict. My kid (and his parents) are having the same one. My kid has worked his butt off in high school. He’ll graduate close to the top, with a perfect GPA and outstanding test scores. If he ends up at a flagship, he’ll look around him and say, why the hell did I work so hard? What was the point?

The answer, as another poster eloquently said, is that the work ethic that resulted in such a great HS record is the same work ethic that will serve him well in life. That was “the point”. But try explain that to an 18 year old. Try explain that to an 18 year old’s parents.

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That and depending on the flagship they choose, they might go for dirt cheap - even OOS - because of that 4.0.

Don’t forget tons of people choose safeties. Tons.
Totally get it but he’ll be far from alone if he goes that route.

Most importantly let’s hope he finds the right school - whatever it is.

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That, and in some states, getting into the flagship university is very difficult and is definitely a sign of accomplishment.

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Also the actual things he learned: the math, the writing, the science, the history. This is the most important point of all.

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There will be a lot of students with perfect GPA’s and excellent test scores, who took rigor classes, at flagships. Mine was 5th in her graduating class and went to a public (along with #2 in her class) for merit. She is now in grad school at a university with a 14% acceptance rate, with merit. Many, many middle class families just can’t afford $300,000+ for college, especially if they have more than one child.

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I think gardenstategal nailed it in her first paragraph. If you attended a top 10 school people would automatically assume you are smart. Now they might not think anything and that’s a hard adjustment.

How to handle it? Do well in classes, get involved on campus, get the best internships possible, get to know your professors, etc. Your resume will speak for itself as you get your first job, go to grad school etc.

Lots of smart kids attend their state flagship.

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