I STILL have no idea what I'm doing!!

College Majors
1

Hello, kind people of College Confidential!

To start off, I posted a similar discussion last year, about how I wasn’t sure exactly what I was doing with my life and my college education. Since then, I had committed to being a computer science major, and then shortly after dropped all of my CS classes for music classes.

I stuck with those for an entire semester, got myself signed up for my next round of credits for this current semester, and everything was going well, except for a few whims in which I was strongly tempted to drop out and get my TEFL license and travel permanently, working odd jobs such as being an Au Pere and WWOOFing, and then I discovered an exciting gravitation towards volunteer work and found the Peace Corps, which, through research, led me to discover that for most positions, you require a minimum of a Bachelor’s degree.

So, I decided that in order to apply in the future, I would stick it out for now and get my Bachelors’ in Music (which I hadn’t even decided between performance, pedagogy, composition OR business.) I then became incredibly depressed for some reason in the last few weeks, which led me to drop all of my classes. I realized that my grades were so bad (i had a 20%) that there was no possible way to not ruin my GPA (3.8) unless I dropped with a withdrawal grade.

I know for a fact I want to get some type of education. I really want to better myself, as well as meet the standards to make more than minimum wage for the rest of my life. It just seems like nothing can keep my attention and I eventually just get extremely dissatisfied and disillusioned with everything I’m doing.

In my last post, the only responses I received were advisories to seek psychological help, and in that time I’ve seen two new therapists, both of which I stopped seeing because they couldn’t seem to see anything wrong with me. I constantly wonder if I’m completely fine emotionally, but just frustratingly intellectually and ambitiously confined to working in a bottom-tier career, or if there’s something actually seriously wrong with me. I do not know what’s up, but I do know that I need a next step.

In your guys’ expert internet opinions, do you think it’s safest of me to enroll in classes next semester? If so, what do you advise me to take (considering I’m finished with prerequisites)? Should I drop out entirely and try to figure out what I want to do instead of wasting thousands of dollars every semester? Should I go to a trade school and push myself through something that could land me a decent career until I discover what I want to do?

2

There doesn’t need to be anything “wrong” with you to feel depressed and maybe to even want to see a therapist. You don’t have to stop talking to them just because you aren’t diagnosed with anything, if they’re helping.

With that said, it’s not uncommon for college students to be a little confused about what they want to do with their lives and what they want to major in. You’re only in your late teens or early twenties. I think the important part of choosing a major and thinking about next steps is that whatever you choose isn’t locking you into something for your ENTIRE career: you’re not choosing what you are doing “for the rest of your life.” You’re just choosing what you want to do right now, for the next couple years. Yes, some majors are better preparation for some careers than others, and some majors will (on average) net you more salary than others. Only you can decide how much to weigh that against other considerations, like interest and difficulty.

This is actually where seeing a therapist or counselor can help out, because you can talk to them more specifically about your struggles and concerns and get some advice and next steps that are tailored towards your situation better. It’s difficult to say from our vantage point whether you should drop out, go to trade school, or stay in school. My instinct is to say stay in college and just pick something - it seems like the things you want to do in life require a bachelor’s degree (or will be made a lot easier with one). You don’t have to pick something that is your life’s passion - it just needs to be something that you can stick with for the next 3-4 years.

That said, it seems a lot of your interests trend towards international work (au pair, WWOOF, Peace Corps). Have you considered something like international studies or international relations? Or for the last two, environmental science/studies type majors may also be good choices. I mean, you can travel with many majors - lots of work needs to be done abroad - but it seems like you have a lot of interest in international issues.

3

@combatchameleon I will do my best internet interpretation but you have classic signs of adult Adhd maybe with some anxiety /depression thrown in for good measure. Most therapists just don’t understand it that well. You need to first look this up online. Go to a Adhd association site and there should be like self evaluations and stories to read… Don’t be surprised if some seem like someone is writing your life story.

Your stop /starting and not being committed to see any of this through is typical.

Just the terms you use give it away… Stuck it out, can’t hold attention, being disillusioned. Some have a failure to succeed and or completing the tasks of taking classes and seeing them through.

Your are evidently smart with your GPA as most Adhd people are (like top Forbes fortune 500 Ceo’s).

Find someone who treats Adult Adhd and just show them this post. Get tested and prove me wrong. Read up about it. See if it makes sense to you as a child to now.

There is a huge connection between CS and Music BTW. Look into that if you still have the interest after being evaluated. Many universities like Northwestern have programs that combine the two.

There are a lot of things that help with focus /attention as simple as exercising daily. Many with Adhd when they have like a cup of coffee will actually initially make them more sedate/focused , not hyper like people without Adhd.

https://add.org/

Good luck.