<p>i can relate to you somewhat because i went from being 1 out of 318 to being 65th in the class. i went through a rough year last year last year but now i'm back to getting straight As again on a rigorous schedule, even with a 20-hour/week job. it took me months to deal with it because i know i can't aspire as high as i used to but i can still aspire. btw, 80/400 still puts you in the top 20% which can still get you into a lot of selective schools (namely uchicago, hopkins, nyu, and if you present an exceptionally strong application, maybe even colleges in the top 10). columbia for example has only 81% of their admitted students in the top 10% of their respective classes. </p>
<p>you're going through a phase right now. years from now, you'll back to where you are now and realize that things turned out for the better, after all. things happen for a reason (i don't know if you believe in fate) but you eventually find some way of getting around the situation. i guarantee you that you will come out of this a stronger person. you may not recognize it yourself but sooner or later, you'll be able to carry yourself with more confidence and you won't even know it. </p>
<p>i went through psychotherapy last year and at that time, i thought that things would never get better. that's how you usually feel when you're depressed. however, after undergoing therapy and changing my attitude about life (which is hard to do), i'm now able to turn bad situations into good ones. for example, recently, my history teacher has become such a terror. her way of teaching is through intimidation, but i, however, refuse to be intimidated. i'm usually calm and cool. i think to myself, why should i feel intimidated by her? i refuse to let anyone manipulate my emotions. when she asks me a question and i don't know the answer, i just say i don't know it. she can't really do anything about it...even though i'm angry inside, i just tell her politely that i will study the material (in fact, it makes her seem immature that i manage to maintain my composure while she loses it).</p>
<p>it makes me feel like the bigger person because i didn't let her scare tactics get to me. i'm indifferent to the world, almost.</p>
<p>MY POINT: don't let anything (ANYTHING) get to you. YOU are in control of things.</p>