<p>So I've been in college dorms since August 20 and I still have no friends, while everyone seems to have already found their group to hang out with. I know you might be thinking that its still very early into the school year, but I just can't take it anymore. Some days I just break down in my room and when family / friends contact me from home, I just try to make everything seem like it's going okay. I want to drop out so bad. I originally decided to go to this school to get a fresh start, but it feels no different from home (where I was just as miserable my Senior year of HS). The only difference is that my family is not here to keep me company and I actually feel like a real "loser." I have tried reaching out to other people and making friends, but I feel like they're going no where, and I'll still end up by myself. I'm looking to join clubs and maybe fraternity, but I still have my doubts on actually finding my group of friends. I just can't wait any longer for them to start though.. My roommate is a good guy and everything, but he's a local, so he already has his best friends that goes to school with him. They're all cool, but I feel just feel like that's "his" friends and I need to find mine. I feel like I screwed myself over because the first few days of dorms, my roommate was totally gone (did not show at all) and I ended up hanging out with my family until they left. And every time they would drop me off at the dorms, almost everyone was out and in their little groups. I just felt out of place. Also, my dorm floor is filled with racist party people. I do want to party, but I'm just not into hanging out with those type of people. Every now and then, I feel people give me looks and start laughing when I pass by. I hate it here. I want to transfer to my #1 school, UNR. What do I do?</p>
<p>Wait it out til the end of the semester? Just focus on academics.....? And Transfer? Drop out? </p>
<p>I need help please. I'm in the library almost everyday and I just feel like running away or something. If anyone can give me advice or just anything, I really need some guidance.</p>
<p>PS. I might have to pay $48,000 for my freshman year because of my Sallie Mae loan and this doesn't feel like it's worth it. This does not feel like $48,000 to me right now.</p>
<p>I want people to reply to this. I know that first semester can be lonely, and that people often find real friends in their second semester. I don’t know what to say about people giving you looks and laughing when you pass- that’s really a shame, and shouldn’t happen ever, let alone in college. </p>
<p>Wherever you go, there you are. I think you need to see the school counsellor, it sounds like you are dealing with depression. Print the post and show it to your counsellor.</p>
<p>Reading your post the pattern is " I try to (do positive step ), but I feel like (negative judgement to invalidate positive step)".
Check it out:
I try to : BUT I (feel)
“reaching out to other people and making friends” :“they’re going no where, and I’ll still end up by myself” = what objective reason is there for this doomy gloomy prediction?
“looking to join clubs and maybe fraternity” : “have my doubts on actually finding my group of friends” = doomed to friendlessness
“roommate is a good guy and everything” : “he’s a local, so he already has his best friends” - doomed friendship</p>
<p>and so forth. It’s like you have a dark cloud of DOOM on your shoulder trying to cast a shadow on everything you do. It doesn’t have to be that way, you don’t have to feel that way. But you need outside help to get out of this rut - seeing a counsellor would be a good first step.</p>
<p>Unless there is something unusual about your school (Example: it’s strongly affiliated with some church and you are not religious), then you will probably find the social experience at one similar to another. Changing schools won’t change that.</p>
<p>I agree with the suggestion to seek counseling. Doing so is not a sign of weakness; nor is it only for people who have a recognized disorder. It’s there for everyone, and counseling on campus is probably free.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone who responded, it really helped me out a little. I think from now on, I’m just going to push myself to think more positively. Theres a club event happening today and I think I might go just for the heck of it. I’m really tired of being alone, so hopefully I can meet people over there. As for the counseling, it’s $7 and I’m really trying to save my money. I don’t think I’m going through a depression, I just have mood swings that go out of control sometimes, especially when I’m dealing through a huge amount of stress, but I’m not bipolar. Thanks again.</p>
<p>Well I’ve talked to people before that have done counseling and they said it doesn’t do anything. Plus, I don’t see how it will help me anyways.</p>
<p>The cost for this year is $21,000 and I can’t pay that so I got a loan at sallie mae. The loan has an 11% interest rate and the cost when I graduate is $48,000 just for This year. It might be $48,000 because the interest rate might change and my parents are going to do a payment plan or something to pay half of it.</p>
<p>Update: College is actually getting better. I have friends to hang out with, and I may join a fraternity, if I get a bid, which was last second haha. Everything is going good now, and I think things needed to take time before I found my place. No need for any replies because life is great : )</p>
<p>P.S. I don’t know where the word “racist” came from. The word was actually the F word, but it was changed somehow, I don’t know. So don’t get all mad at me.</p>
<p>So many people I know hated college until around Thanksgiving break. I went through a similar experience when I began at a new high school and it changed for me after I learned to refocus my time on school rather than my social life. As I saw success in the classroom I became happier and more outgoing and confident. Also, you should look into finding some clubs or groups to become involved with. Try not to worry about finding friends and search for people, be yourself and let them find you. If you act like yourself and become involved in things that you enjoy you will surround yourself with likeminded people. </p>