I think I have hit a wall and I need help.

<p>I'm not quite sure why I'm asking this question here as you all will probably not know any good ways of helping me (not your fault, I just have a lot of problems) , but its worth a shot anyways.</p>

<p>I am currently a sophomore in high school and it looks like I've hit a wall. I say this because I have some disorders such as social anxiety and selective mutism which are now affecting my life more than ever. I have asked a lot of questions pertaining to this subject and I'm sorry if any of you are getting tired of me but then again I've never asked a question about the specific subject I'm asking about now.</p>

<p>I'm in AP English Language and 15% of our grade is speaking and listening. I have a 0 in this category. There are two grades, both of them being Socratic seminars, which are class discussions where you are graded on your participation. This brought my grade down from a 95% to a 79%. I've already asked about this in the Class of 2017 thread and they recommended I get some sort of exemption, but I decided not to, hoping that my bad grade would be a motivation for me to do better in upcoming socratic seminars. This will be my first B in high school.</p>

<p>Now I intend to take more advanced English classes in the future, and I was looking around on my school website when I came upon the grading scale thing for IB English, which I intended to take. It turns out oral discussion is 30% of the grade.</p>

<p>This is very bad news to me. I can do presentations, but they are horrible whenever I do, and I've never participated in a class discussion. So I have now realized that my whole future is determined by my social abilities. I don't even have any friends, and I can't engage in regular conversation with people outside my family, that's how bad I am. </p>

<p>And I'm sure they'll be oral discussions in college too, which means if I don't get this problem solved now, I will have no hope for my future. I also don't have any good ECs due to my problems.</p>

<p>Does anyone have any sort of advice for me? I know it may be hard to help me since you've probably never met anyone like me (neither have I), but I'll take any help I can get. Thanks in advance.</p>

<p>Have you asked your teacher about the discussions? Did you go over in class what they were about / what you are expected to do? A lot of teachers can give suggestions or may be less harsh in grading if you approach them.</p>

<p>Also, I find doing research and preparing some questions / answers ahead of time makes it less scary to talk in class. You could see if someone is willing to talk about the topic with you (parents, friends, etc.) so you’re a bit more prepared and know where the discussion may be.</p>

<p>Finding a place where you feel comfortable talking in front of people will also help you with your confidence. Is there anywhere you could practice (with friends, in clubs, etc.), informally first, and then more formally? Thoroughly research / practice what you want to say, and just go for it! </p>

<p>I hoped some of this could help, and good luck in your upcoming seminars!</p>

<p>@Andr01d‌ I actually made a bunch of notes and really thought about what I was going to say, but then I just got too nervous. I haven’t really talked to my teacher about it, I probably should but its hard to do considering the difficulty I have with speaking to people. Thanks for the help though, maybe I can practice discussing out loud next time, maybe even with my mom.</p>

<p>@dsi411‌ I know I have suggested this before, but for the term you got a 79% in, show her the work. Hopefully s/he has a soul and will let you slide by. This term, try to at least work on it by talking to someone else. If all else fails, talk to you GC; usually they are good at this kind of thing.</p>

<p>You need to talk to your parents. They could approach the school about getting a 504 or an IEP in place, and start investigating ways to address this lifelong issue head-on. It is very possible that some of your habits (for lack of a better term) can be ameliorated using hypnosis of just by reducing the risk with strategies such as @Andr01d suggests will work. You may need help to get this resolved. It is very common for a 15-year-old to think they can solve a problem by themselves by just working harder, and not changing anything fundamental. The common rebuttal, which is true, is “if you had diabetes would you try to make yourself better, or would you take medication?” You need some supports and interventions. Seek them out proactively, and do not just try to “will” yourself out of this.</p>

<p>I recommend seeing about getting a 504 plan. Also are you in therapy? sometimes therapy can be very effective. You seem like you are highly intelligent, so it’s a shame that your grades are being brought down by something you can’t quite control.
in cognitive behavioral therapy, you might pick up some strategies that are applicable to every area of your life.</p>

<p>I had a 504 plan in 9th grade and I guess they didn’t continue it. I am also in therapy and it has helped a little. Thank you for all of the suggestions.</p>