I think I need to drop out of university

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I am a straight A student, so I can do the work. I will graduate in the spring if I continue on.</p>

<p>The problem is three months after I moved here I started having anxiety/panic attacks. I have been feeling like this since the end of April, month after month of the same thing with no on around to help me. I moved here in January as a transfer student, just 2-3 hours awat. I moved here with my then 7 year old child (she's 8 now). I was sooooo excited and happy. I was ready to start my new life on my own. I was strong, fearless, and confident and then I was hit with an attack in class.</p>

<p>After that attack the loneliness started to settle in. I realized that I was in this foreign place, with a completely different setting (I lived in the city now I am in the country), I knew no one and I just felt like I was losing myself. At one point I even thought maybe this was a dream, I seriously did. It was a huge mind trip. That was in the summer and all of the students were gone (I live off campus) so I rarely got to see anyone in the area. It was a ghost town.</p>

<p>It's been so horrible for me. One minute I am okay and then the next 30 minutes it feels like I've been hit with a very strong feeling of fear. My heart races, my mind races, my mouth gets dry, I sometimes shake, I get chills, I want to cry and I want to scream and run.</p>

<p>I am taking 5 classes and it's hard because I try to stay focused in class but all I am really thinking to myself is when is an attack going to come on again. It's horrible. I've broken down crying two times this week. I am just so tired. I want to leave, transfer schools and go back to my hometown. I feel that once there it will be better.I will feel safe and thus my health will be better. Of course I'll still be living on my own and what if that's the reason I feel this way because I don't know how to live on my own.</p>

<p>My health is poor, I've lost a bit of weight, I've broken out in spots, my menstrual cycle is out of whack. I just feel horrible all over. I feel like I am neglecting my child because she spends a great deal either in front of the t.v. or behind the computer. I hate this time in my life it's the worst and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.</p>

<p>Nothing or no one is out to get me and yet I am crippled with fear. It's the worst feeling ever. I'd rather be burnt or cut or something instead of living like this. I never imagined life would be like this for me. I actually regret coming him. I just moved without really researching the area.</p>

<p>If I leave I know I will regret it because I only have 7 classes after this to take and I'll be done. If I stay I honestly think I will die. I am going to give myself a heart attack. Last night I swear my heart was going to rip itself right out of my chest.</p>

<p>I have no friends here. It's the worst. I am an introvert so people don't really flock to me. I am also an older student, most of the students are younger than me. They aren't parents and so it would be hard to relate to them.</p>

<p>I had my first visit with a counselor but I don't think she can help me, really.</p>

<p>What can I do?</p>

2

<p>I would definitely recommend that you seek out counseling, perhaps through the student health services. It sounds like you may have a panic disorder, but regardless, speaking to a professional in person would likely be the best option. It may take a couple of sessions with a therapist for you to feel comfortable with them, but if you don’t feel that this specific therapist can help you, is there a different therapist that you can see? It’s important for you to find someone that you feel comfortable with and that can help you, but it sounds like this isn’t something that will go away on it’s own. Seeking help would likely be the best option. A professional will likely be able to give you the best advice or treatment options for your specific situation.</p>

<p>Could you perhaps take a medical withdrawal or leave, and then return to this school again after a semester or two, when you are better equipped to handle living away from home? If you transferred to a school closer to home, would it be a practical decision for your situation (financially, socially, academically, career-wise, graduation-wise)? There’s nothing wrong with transferring to school closer to home, as long as it is the right choice for you and your family.</p>

<p>Perhaps, you could find a support group, as well, for people who have been in similar situation as you. It may help you feel less isolated and alone, if there’s a group in the area.</p>

3

<p>Have you tried to see if your current major offers any online classes so that you could possibly still attend the university but go back home? I feel like that would be a lot easier for you, plus you would have a lot of time to spend with your daughter and you’d be a lot closer to your family/friends also. </p>

<p>Like baktrax stated, speak to a counselor at you student health center, it would probably help greatly.</p>

4

<p>What state are you in? What’s nearby to do? How many other adult students are around campus? I mean, it may be hard to find other adult students but they are there. And a lot of the younger students may not know what it’s like to be a parent but you’d be surprised how many know what it’s like to feel like one. I have a 6 year old nephew at home who I may not pay for but I am responsible for as much as anybody else in my family. It doesn’t take being a parent to sympathize with your situation.</p>

5

<p>It sounds to me like you have panic disorder, which is a condition that needs treatment. Moving won’t really treat the condition. A good doctor and therapist can help with meds if needed and cognitive therapy. You cannot know if the therapist can help after just one visit. I would strongly suggest you find one skilled in treating Panic, not just a general therapist. </p>

<p>I don’t think you can address your other worries until you get your health under control.</p>

6

<p>I developed anxiety and depression in my junior year of college, which were accompanied by panic attacks in class. I started skipping classes because just sitting in class would bring on a panic attack - same symptoms (racing heart and mind, trembling, chills, wanting to scream and run out of the room. For no reason at all. It’s scary!)</p>

<p>If you are attending the school more than half-time, you are probably paying the health services fee. Most colleges have a counseling center - try to set up an appointment with one of the counselors. I started seeing a counselor and it helped immensely. If it’s really bad you may need medication to help you feel better; but talk therapy alone can help. For me, I didn’t need the meds; I started an exercise regimen and went to the counselor once a week and felt better. I also ended up medically withdrawing from 2 of my classes, which made my course load that semester a much more manageable 3 classes and I did much better in those.</p>

<p>There’s gotta be some non-traditional students on campus you can connect with. Is there a club for adult/older students? Is there a way to seek them out? My husband’s a non-trad here at our university and he’s joined a couple of student groups for non-trads. (He’s also joined some of the traditional student groups, too - sure, the 18-year-olds can’t really relate to many of his life problems, but they can relate to a lot of them too. They’re all in the same courses and they do have SOME things in common, as you likely do).</p>

7

<p>A good counselor should be able to help you develop some grounding techniques you can use to calm yourself when you feel the panic reaction starting. Keep going to counseling and be very specific that you want to learn how to handle the panic reaction. Then you can think about what is triggering you…is it realizing you are far from home, or worrying about life after college? All of us have to adjust to change, and it is tough, but it’s part of life for most people. Does your D go to school? Try to meet other parents, so that you can form some friendships off campus with other people who are parents and may want to socialize. Having a couple close friends can do wonders for you. Start going for walks with your D, or bike rides, or swim in the fitness center, etc. The physical activity will help you deal with stress, and may help with sleep, etc. Eat healthy and have meals with your D. That will help too. I found that when I first developed my anxiety disorder, it was the worst. Then, slowly the attacks got fewer as I learned more about them, could identify triggers and work on handling it before it got too bad. Even doing something like sipping tea and just breathing, or reading a favorite book and telling your self, “This feeling is a panic attack. I am fine. This feeling is awful, but it will go away. I just have to wait it out. I am fine.” can really, really help. Be kind to yourself, and know that you absolutely are NOT alone in this! Good luck!</p>

8

<p>If you haven’t already, you should see your school’s counselor.</p>