My parents(divorced)
Mom- Best person ever,hates being lied to, trusts me like crazy, doesn’t have much money and I just love her to death
Dad- Thinks I shouldn’t be near college 'cause he knew I’d lose myself along the way, always told my mom I should come and go from home to college and vice versa
Me- I have a psycothic depression my dad thinks it’s made up and my moms thinks it’s cured because I told her so, so she wouldn’t be worried and then I just down in the middle of everything
They only know what I tell them about grades
Situation:
I wasted my year, end of the first semester told my mom I was doing fine in college, that I didn’t do everything but almost. I lied thinking that in the second semester it would be better and I’d work harder but I didn’t so I’m failing the year and don’t know how to tell my parents, my mom will loose all the confidence in me,my dad will be saying my mom he was right and that i’m a mess up and i’ll have to 3hours of travelling to go to college everyday
I don’t know how to tell them and it breaks me to pieces to know I’ll hurt my mom and I just don’t know what to do and I’m having panic attacks everyday, anyone as an ideia of how I can tell them to minimize the harm to my mom?
Just be honest. That’s the best thing you can do. You screwed up and you need to own up to it. It will be less harmful to them if you take responsibility. You’ve already lied and you won’t find comfort until you fess up.
Make a plan and show it to them about how you’re going to do better and be better next year. Maybe you need meds? Stick to the plan.
Do your parents pay for you to go to college? Maybe you could show that you are trying and are serious by pitching in.
Is there a reason why you weren’t serious the first year? Maybe you should evaluate yourself and decisions and your future. Do you really want to be in college? Maybe you should take a semester or year off. Your well being comes first. You are not a mess up. Everybody has demons to fight.
Again just be honest to your mom and dad and also to yourself. If you need professional help, go get it. I hope I helped…and I hope the best for you too.
You are not responsible for your mom or your dad’s feelings, no matter how “great” or know-it-all either one is.
One of the best things I ever learned in life, and it only took me 35-45 years, is that I am NOT responsible for my parents’ feelings or actions. I am only responsible for my own feelings and actions.
Maybe this whole situation is the universe’s way of trying to reach through and teach you something deeper.
If I were you I’d seek a neutral, qualified counselor to talk to about all this. And I would be honest with my parents, but I would not let them project their “stuff” on me.
All is not lost. You are young, and you have a right to your own mistakes. You’re not free to be relieved of the consequences of those mistakes, but let’s face it - this is not the worst thing to ever happen to somebody. This could be a great learning experience and stepping stone to real maturity and a fulfilled adulthood.
This is just my amateur personal opinion, based on a whole bunch of life experience. Again, seek help from qualified, trusted, neutral people. You are not alone.
Honesty is the best policy and your parents are probably your best supporters and resource. You are heading for a trainwreck unless you can face reality and work with it.
Essentially, your dad was right. You needed to prove him wrong, which you failed to do. You didn’t let anyone down, you let yourself down. You blew the first semester, and couldn’t even make up for it in the second one.
Maybe the other poster is right. Is college really for you? What exactly is it that you want to do? What went wrong with your first year? If you still want to go through with this, do your best in the next semester. If even that fails, you need to reconsider your life’s direction. Perhaps you just walked the wrong path. Not everyone must go to college to achieve a decent life.