<p>Can you please score my sat essay?</p>
<p>Assignment: Do you agree that persistence is the major factor in success, and that talent, genius, and education play, at best, secondary roles?</p>
<pre><code>Success is the goal of each of us. Success is a possibility for all of us; however, the secret to reach it has a dual face: talent and genius on one side, ambition and persistence on the other. Talent and genius are wealth that we should wisely employ. Ambition and persistence are motors we should wisely use.
Considering the case of one of my classmates, we can assure that genius without hard work will lead us nowhere. Joseph is one of the geniuses we rarely meet, everyday he comes with new esoteric ideas, he creates 3D videos, mini airplanes or helicopters just for the sake of doing it. However, Joseph relies only on his talent; with years passing by he did not work to ameliorate his skills, he neglected almost all the courses we were taking at high school and thus, found himself failing his class.
Also, I have found recently that hard work with no talent will not get us any farther. I had been taking guitar classes at the music conservatory for almost seven years. I have been practicing hard trying to ameliorate my technique with the increasingly difficult pieces I had to play. My teacher always applauded my efforts, but his comments were always accompanied by the traditional sentence: your technique is good, but there is something missing
maybe the spirit of music. He was right, I found that later on. I had not the talent and could not continue.
However, combining talent and genius with ambition and hard work will take us to the peak of victory. Carlos Ghosn, now CEO of Nissan and Renault, is indubitably one of the most successful contemporary men. His secret to success is really not a secret, it is the great combination of his innate talent in handling difficulties and his persistence to ameliorate his condition.
In conclusion, we see that success is a combination of innate talent and persistence. When one of the component is absent, the result cannot be achieved.
</code></pre>
<p>Reading the conclusion and thesis of your essay, I gather that you are given equal importance to talent and hard work, thereby not taking a firm stand on the topic. My friend, an excellent writer, wrote his SAT essay with an ambivalent approach - though his essay was phenomenal - and ended up getting an 8.
I would advise you to take a stand on this topic. Which is MORE important, Talent or Hard work? Make a stronger thesis, and elaborate on it using pertinent examples.</p>
<p>I would give you a 7, primarily due to ambivalence. Good luck!</p>
<p>8/12 IMO. one pointer though- you overused ‘ameliorate’ in your essay. </p>
<p>good introduction but shaky conclusion (although conclusion hardly ever makes or breaks an essay).</p>
<p>Very short, very poor grammar, and bizarre word choice (for example, ameliorate has negative connotations; this means that you use it when you are talking about when something bad or unsatisfactory is made better.) You also didn’t explicitly answer the question fully.
5 or 6 out of 12.</p>
<p>This is a great opportunity to point something out to everyone out there about to take the SAT. </p>
<p>ANSWER THE PROMPT DIRECTLY. This essay is written pretty well, and has good structure. BUT – IT DOES NOT ADDRESS THE PROMPT DIRECTLY. </p>
<p>SAT essay graders sit and read 200 essays in a session. They look for ANSWERS TO THE PROMPT. In the essay above you hinted at the prompt, talked about related things, but did not ADDRESS THE PROMPT DIRECTLY. </p>
<p>On the SAT, this essay would probably score a 4 at best. It does not matter how well written it is, or how interesting it is – an essay that does not directly address the prompt will not do well.</p>
<p>Anyone else stopped by, “Success is the goal of each of us?”</p>
<p>The point here is to: a) answer the question- take a position (yes/no) and defend it in a solid, well-written argument. b) select examples whose history, challenges, achievements, etc, are known- AND support your position.<br>
You chose a hs classmate, who “found himself failing his class” and yourself- by your own admission, you “had not the talent and could not continue.” </p>
<p>Want to try to rework it? Try this: look at the question until you feel a yes or no answer. See if you can come up with three well-known modern or historical examples of men or women who either suceeded through persistence (with talent coming second) OR who were not persistent and, in fact, succeeded on talent alone.<br>
Your 1st paragraph should convert the question according to the position you chose. It’s ok to re-use the question’s words, just do it smartly. It’s not about philosophy or a lead-in. It’s a direct statement of your position, with a hint of the argument to come.</p>