So I was caught cheating on a math quiz and don’t know how to tell my parents. I first wanna tell my mom because she won’t react as badly, but I don’t want her to hate me. My school’s policy regarding cheating is more lenient the first time (I’ll be given a discussion and tips on how not to do this again), but it’s just the fact that I did cheat. I have a 79 in math and this is the first time I cheated. I just felt like whenever I actually tried to study I wasn’t doing well. Please help!
Everyone makes mistakes; everyone exercises poor judgment at various times throughout life. This doesn’t make you a bad person–it just shows that you are human.
Learn from the experience. Unfortunately, you need to be prepared to deal with the consequences from both your parents & from your school. But, most importantly, do not let one foolish mistake define you.
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I am really glad to hear of a school that handles this appropriately, with further education. I don’t know what grade you are in, but this experience, tough as it may be now, will prevent much much tougher experiences in the future,
My personal feeling is that sometimes young people cheat because of the pressures created by school and family (not saying this is true of yours). So along with examining your own reasons for cheating, think also about some environmental factors, stresses or values that might have contributed. This could be the basis for a conversation with parents and brainstorming solutions.
Forgive yourself. I think it will be easier to tell your mom (and maybe your dad) if you forgive yourself first. You are not admitting to a crime. You made a mistake, you are young, all will be well. As I said, this may protect you for the future.
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Do you have to tell them? It sounds as if you are facing consequences that don’t necessitate parental involvement. No suspension, nothing that is going on your record.
I think that it probably would be a good idea to share this with your parents, but if you feel that the blowback from them could be disproportionate, do you need to share it with them?
my principal told me he needs to call my dad to talk to him about it, and I would rather my parents find out through me than my principal. That’s why I wanna tell my mom first so she can email my principal and he can call her instead.
Just sit your parents down. Mom. Dad. I messed up.
Explain what you did. Let them know that you know it’s wrong. You never will again.
They love you. It will be fine.
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Why is the principal calling your dad and not your mom? Is he operating under the archaic idea that the dad is head of the family?
Tell your parents, emphasize the pressures you feel you are under, and that the school is offering more education on academic honesty that will help you in the future.
Your parents need to know that you feel pressure about grades.
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I’m honestly not sure. I think my parents put down that the first person to call in these scenarios is my dad
You should sit down with both of your parents and tell them what happened.
Take ownership of your mistake and express remorse.
I would also tell them about how you are struggling in the course and discuss things you can do to improve your confidence and performance (ex. maybe get a tutor, seek extra help from your teacher, check out online resources such as Khan Academy etc.).
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thank you everyone for all the advice! also, does anyone know how i could apologize to my teacher? the day she confronted me about it she told me that she doesn’t like me any less and to use this as a learning opportunity, but i would still like to say something to her.
Yes - set a few minutes up to meet her after school.
Say I thought long and hard -if i was struggling, there are other ways and I was wrong. It’d be better to fail than take the easy way.
I’ve learned a great lesson for life. I’m sorry this happened and I’m appreciative that you are so forgiving.
Just make sure if you say it, you mean it - and don’t do it again.
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“Why is the principal calling your dad and not your mom”.
The same could be asked the other way around. Why is the mom the one that needs to be called because of an issue with the child? Can’t men be the ones that are the advocates and contacts for their children?
The OP answered the question though, the dad was put down as the first contact. No archaic conspiracy necessary.
I only asked because the OP wanted to tell the mom first and seemed more afraid of the dad’s reaction.
alright everyone, i have an update. i just told my mom and surprisingly she wasn’t mad at all. i told her that my school’s consequences aren’t bad, and more than that i really regret what i did. she told me these type of things are all part of growing up and making mistakes, and that she would never hate me :’) she told me she would email my principal tomorrow so he can talk to her, as well as my teacher. thank you all for your advice, this couldn’t have gone better. i definitely learned my lesson and will not be doing this again!
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And no that parents (usually) are reasonable. We all want our kids to grow up safely.
This is a good lesson for you - it’s not that you err - I mean, in this case it wasn’t good. But ultimately, it depends on how you recover.
This is a lesson for life, for business - people, companies screw up. It’s how they handle the issue that will ultimately reflect on their true character.
Good luck to you.