<p>Are your parents doctors? This question comes up all the time. Its fairly common. Overzealous and controlling parents meddling in a kids career choices with an independent kid who isnt quite sure what to major in, and the parents are using emotional and financial blackmail to try and influence the decision.</p>
<p>UGH!</p>
<p>We never told our kid what they HAD to major in, nor what school they HAD to attend. Our kid did very well in high school and stayed OUT OF TROUBLE so as a reward, we allowed a lot of latitude on this issue. But that being said, we didnt abdicate our role as wise owls: knowing our kid, interests, financial issues, likelihood of being admitted or rejected, the ups and downs of various majors and careers etc. So we worked together and came to a sort of concessus on the issues. Our kid applied to several schools, weighed the ones where we received acceptance letters, discarded the rejections, held onto the wait lists. Then we culled over the programs and course offerings of the various schools, made our school visits and went from there. As it turns out, private schools offer significantly more aid (both merit and financial) than public schools. So it almost equalled out. </p>
<p>On the issue of majors, we had some opinions we voiced but did not threaten. We just said, "consider these options, both positive and negative". Our kid is a musician but ultimately decided against being a music major as it would inhibit graduate school choices outside of the musical world and he/she had no desire to become a professional musician, despite the obvious talent. So we picked a school where music could continue to be a part of our kid's life by playing in the school orchestra, but could major in something else. </p>
<p>Majors typically change in kids' minds very frequently. We said, "we really dont care that much and if you pick something we don't favor, we will always love and support you, but you will be on your own once you graduate so think about that real hard." And we also know that people perform the best in life where they have the most passion. And that people bomb the most frequently when they are forced to do something they hate. That is true for med school, law school, dental school, architecture school, music conservatory, art school, business school, or any profession. If you don't love what you are doing its a recipe for a very unhappy life. On the other hand, we also know that many college majors don't equate to specific jobs and really don't have to do so. The notion that EVERY college major must be specifically tied to a specific career path to be relevant is ridiculous. Kids with majors in Spanish and History still get into Medical school and law school all the time. You may take biology and chemistry in college and HATE IT. Or you may discover your passion and take off like a rocket ship. </p>
<p>Tell your parents, "I respect your advice and counsel and I thank you. I will keep everything you say in mind. But I really need to just relax and take the first year courses without undue pressure on a specific career path and see where I do my best and what interests me the most. I know you want me to be happy and successful, and to be successful one should first be happy. Please love me and accept me for who I am and help me grow into the complete person I want to be." </p>
<p>Its also important to know that the medical field and legal and dental fields are FULL of professionals who are depressed, alcoholics etc. often because they ended up in those fields for the wrong reasons, sometimes because of parental pressures. </p>
<p>Dont insult your parents. They likely are just trying to help you succeed and are succumbing to all the pressures that senior year brings with college applications and worrying about paying for it. </p>
<p>Apply to state schools and a few MATCH private schools and see what happens with financial aid. You may be pleasantly surprised. Then go to college with all the vigor you can muster because you will need it. DONT PARTY when you get there either or you will bomb. Take each class with an open mind, work your best and give yourself time to find yourself and your passion. You have until second semester sophomore year or early junior year to declare your major. </p>
<p>Yes its a great career to become a doctor. But its lots of hard work and very expensive. Too expensive to throw good money after a bad decision for you personally.....IF ITS NOT YOUR PASSION. Being an outstanding doctor REQUIRES that it be your passion. Nobody likes an unhappy doctor.</p>
<p>In extreme circumstances you can become independent from your parents and get financial aid on that basis, but that has a lot of emotional baggage with it as well. </p>
<p>This is a stressful time for all families with college admissions etc. Try and be understanding of each other's perspectives and tell your parents they are a little bit ahead of themselves on this issue...to relax...there is plenty of time to decide a college major and decide if you will be a medical student or not. Tell them you will do your very best at whatever you decide to do and that is really all they can expect from you. They have a right to know their "investment" in paying tuition is not wasted on something goofy or ill suited for you. But the first year or two of college is just taking required core classes or distribution classes anyway...which is designed to give you a broad perspective to ASSIST you in making a decision LATER ON about a major. </p>
<p>State schools are cheaper generally...but not always after financial aid is considered. And state schools have other social issues to consider....including massive bureaucracy and a huge size often enough. Some kids perform better in a smaller college and that ENHANCES their opportunity to get into medical school. So tell your parents that as well.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>