<p>your essay is the ****.</p>
<p>Wow.. with all of these astericks flying around, I'm not sure if my essay is "a bomb" or "da bomb", so to speak ! =)</p>
<p>Seriously though, I've recieved feedback that's all across the board. More opinions are welcomed -- I'm really considering any and all suggestions for improvement. Drop me a line at Raven (AT) ultraSW.com and I'll send it via e-mail (the formatting on these boards seems to screw up the paragraphs?).</p>
<p>slicmlic2001 - what's your e-mail? The formatting will come out better that way. Drop me a line at Raven (AT) ultraSW.com and I'll send it on over..</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>well what the hay...Ill join the bandwagon too :) ... hit me up with that essay raven:</p>
<p>Sent, thanks!</p>
<p>Thats a damn good essay ...your voice and style come off as very natural. Only comment I would make is that you should be a little more conservative with your commas... I noticed sometimes they were used in order to have a "pausing effect," but it wasnt quite grammatically correct.</p>
<p>Other than that, it was a very different and interesting essay.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>hey raven!</p>
<p>i think you can send the essay through the email in my profile?? if not let me know!</p>
<p>if you'd like, i can proofread it for you. :)</p>
<p>ilovecollege - 2 things.. you don't have your e-mail enabled, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't send it to ya that way. Also, these forums somehow really screw up the essay formatting-- it'll be MUCH easier to read if I can send it via regular e-mail, trust me :)</p>
<p>Drop me a line ...Thanks :)</p>
<p>... it is amazing how many people I sent my essay to, and how relatively few responded with any sort of feedback.</p>
<p>??</p>
<p>perhaps they are just taking a look at it for ideas</p>
<p>Sure, I'd be happy to read your essay.</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>i'd like to read your essay as well! =)</p>
<p>Hey Raven!! :)
Sorry that I didn't get a chance to reply until now...a lot going on right now!! But I sat down with your essay and like a ton of people I am sure told you, it is really really good. I love how it is so personable and how I can like visualize this whole scene and you...without knowing you or anything like that at all.<br>
I guess 2 things that came to my mind: one, that seems like a really unique experience at Paraguay, but I don't think I ever caught why you were there? Just kind of made me curious and so dropping in a line of that somewhere may help....and also, to help make the scene come alive even more, maybe you can like describe the surroundings more (Mama Nelza, where you were staying, even the food etc....) But then there is a word limit, so I don't really know what you can do about that.
Overall, wonderful job! I really enjoyed it :) I don't know how much that helped you but good luck!!!! :)</p>
<p>I'd love to read your essay raven!!!:D</p>
<p>hey raven001 you seem to have alot of volunteers but if you need another opinion you can always send away!</p>
<p>Raven I would love to read your essay and give my comments.</p>
<p>Please send me the essay. I would love to comment on it.</p>
<p>oh, me too! i'll read and comment on it.</p>
<p>ooo could i read ur essay...ill def comment..</p>
<p>Hey raven..please send, i'll be happy to read it (and probably be inspired)</p>