I'd love some guidence

Parents Forum
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<p>I had googled "how to transfer" and stumbled upon this website, and the people here seem really great so I thought I'd give it a shot. My own parents are pretty bewildered about the education system in the states, so I'm hoping I get some advice here.</p>

<p>A little about me: I moved to the states three years ago, and did my 11th and 12th grade here. I loved highschool, made plenty of friends, got a 3.7 GPA with AP classes, got into Wellesely- my dream school. However, I couldn't afford Wellesley. Mt. Holyoke, one of my other choices, I could afford- with the merit scholarship and a cumulative loan of $20,000. Finally, I chose Saint Louis University, 20 minutes away, since it gave me the most money and I want to save as much of it since I think med school may be an option.</p>

<p>I am completely miserable here... second semester of freshman year starts tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I managed to get a 3.86 GPA and form good relations with my professors. However, my social life is non existent. Everyone here is nice - however they have different ideas on what fun and a good conversation means, and the interactions I have with my peers are forced and superficial. I don't party or drink either, so that also seems to be a factor. I cry a lot of nights because I feel really lonely and have begged my parents to pick me up - and they have, for one weekend a month.</p>

<p>I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should just suck up the loans and distance from home, and transfer to Mount Holyoke, even though there is a danger of me not making friends there either. My parents tell me that I have to try other ways of making friends, or learn to enjoy my own company, or that they will give me a car so I can commute... incase I decide not to transfer.</p>

<p>If you have any ideas or have had any of your children in similar situations, please let me know. Thanks for reading!</p>

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<p>chesterfield - SLU has good programs in health sciences fields. I understand your point about the social life, but I’d encourage you to look at this as a business decision … good school for you career goals, and very affordable. In order to consider an alternative, you need to have one. So put on your happy face this semester, and start looking for schools that you’d like better. (Be sure to keep knowledge of that search to yourself. You’ll probably need faculty recommendations later … but best to wait until later before communicating your present discontent to people at SLU.) As usual, JMHO.</p>

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<p>Have you gotten involved yet in any campus organizations related to your interests? Getting involved in ECs related to health careers or community service may help you connect with students whose values and interests you share.</p>

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<p>coulda, woulda, shoulda,…Transferring sounds like a great solution, but the results aren’t nearly as pretty. There’s a big difference between transferring and applying as a first timer: $$$ because, sad to say, those scholarships have suddenly disappeared.</p>

<p>I suggest you investigate this bit of advice,

it’s a hard step to take, but one that suggests a lot of newfound maturity.</p>

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<p>I bet you’d find like minded peers at the following organization:</p>

<p>Saint Louis University has had a chapter of GMB since April 2007 and has been chartered by the Student Government Association since October 2007. Our mission is to uphold the Jesuit mission while providing free health care in underserved international communities, treating patients while upholding the highest ethical standards, improving living conditions in poor developing countries, as well as raising awareness among university students for the need of global humanitarian efforts. After engaging in the activities of this organization, students and medical professionals will learn and understand the crises occurring in poor developing countries arising from the socioeconomic infrastructures that contribute to low quality education and medical care, and volunteers will also be equipped to bridge any and all cultural gaps that exist within todays society"
[Saint</a> Louis University Global Medical Brigades - SLU GMB](<a href=“http://www.slugmb.org/]Saint”>http://www.slugmb.org/)</p>

<p>Getting involved in sports also can be a good way of meeting people:</p>

<p>[Club</a> Sports Council (Chartered Organizations)](<a href=“Sign in - Google Accounts”>Sign in - Google Accounts)</p>

<p>Getting involved in theater (including the many backstage opportunities) is another way of meeting people.</p>

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<p>I agree with the idea of joining some clubs/groups that are of interest to you. You just haven’t met the right kids. There has to be some kids there for you make friends with.</p>

<p>If med school is in your future, you don’t want to take on big debt for undergrad, which it sounds like you will if you transfer.</p>

<p>how about getting a part-time job?</p>

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<p>You need to find your peeps! Don’t worry - it takes lots of kids time to make some real friends. Join some clubs and service organizations and see what you can do for others. You’ll find some friends!</p>

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<p>Because they’d prefer not to accept students whose attraction to medicine is only financial, medical schools do look for evidence that applicants are interested in service. Consequently, developing a deep involvement in service organizations would help your prospectives for getting into med school as well as meeting like minded friends.</p>

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<p>limabeans- I did look at this as a business decision- which is why I chose it over an all girl’s LAC that I would have preferred.</p>

<p>I understand that funds may dry up, and I might have even more loans, but do you think that the affordability is worth the loneliness?</p>

<p>Northstarmom- thanks for the links. I am part of the pre-health club, big brothers big sisters, and a service club but haven’t had any luck. I guess I’ll have to just keep trying. I will look into the other organization you mentioned.</p>

<p>I just really don’t know. I hoped college would be enriching and the place I would find some of the best friends in my life, but the truth is, the most fun I had these past 6 months, was during winter break with all my friends from highschool.</p>

<p>Do any of you guys know of kids who liked college a lot more after the first semester?</p>

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<p>My cousin came from overseas to go to Grad. school at Johns Hopkins. About this time three years ago she came to our house for Xmas break, dreaded at the thought of going back to Baltimore because she was miserabler in school. I still remember late in Jan. I took her back, as we approched the city, she almost cried and said “this disgustng city…”</p>

<p>In May, I was invited to have dinner with some of her friends. She made incredible friends in the spring semester. It was amazing how much her life changed by having those friends. She did not join any club, just friends in her class, with similar culture background (not from the same country, but same continent.)</p>

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<p>^^ When surrounded by 12,000 peers, it’s fair to suggest that loneliness is a choice.</p>

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<p>My niece is now in grad school after finishing undergrad at my alma mater. Her mother didn’t tell me until last year that her D was miserable her first semester. It was a big surprise because my niece is very easy-going and makes friends easily. Although she is still with her boyfriend that she has dated since high school, he was not the issue.</p>

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<p>I liked college a lot more after first semester. I’ve found the same was true for a lot of students.</p>

<p>It can take a while to find one’s social group.</p>

<p>Also, first semester is when freshmen act the wildest. If one isn’t into partying, it may seem that’s all people do. Second semester things calm down more because probably the wildest partiers have either flunked out or their parents have read them the riot act after seeing their grades. Other students have gotten over the initial flush of being able to do whatever they want, and they tend to act more maturely.</p>

<p>I am sure that there are people on campus whom you can develop strong friendships in. Some also may be in the honorary societies that you’ll probably be invited to join at the end of freshman year if you have high grades.</p>

<p>It’s important to not only go to meetings of organizations that interest you, but volunteer to help out with the organizations. Organizations tend to have a small, core group of dedicated students who are working hard in the organization, and probably would welcome another hard working, committed student. That’s where you probably will make your closest friends.</p>

<p>Saying this, too, as someone who used to advise a school newspaper. The small group of students who were the ones volunteering night and day to make sure the paper came out tended to become friends for life. I mean that literally. Some ended up marrying students who were on the paper with them. Some also are best friends 10 years after graduating.</p>

<p>If you are religious at all, it also may help you to join an organization related to your faith.</p>

<p>And, no, I do not think it would be worth the financial burden for you to transfer. St. Louis University has 16,000 students, and I feel very confident that you can find friends and a fulfilling academic and social life where you are.</p>

<p>Also talk to your science professors about research opportunities. That probably would be something you’d enjoy, too. Get to know your professors well, and also get to know your advisor well. They may also be able to suggest other organizations and activities that you’d enjoy. </p>

<p>Are you interested in sports or the arts? As I suggested earlier, getting involved in theater (backstage if you don’t want to act) usually is a wonderful way to meet people. If you sing, being in a choral group might be something you enjoy. Also, one doesn’t have to be excellent in sports to enjoy being on an intramural sports team in college.</p>

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<p>Sure. I know lots of kids that took a while to find find their niche. Some didn’t find it until their sophomore year. In a school that large you should be able to find a comfortable and rewarding place for yourself, but it may take some time and some effort.</p>

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<p>NewHope33- Perhaps towards the end of the semester, it was a choice. I’ve lived in 5 cities in 3 countries, and with each move I’ve been able to make friends. So, I feel like I know how to be proactive, how to organize things, and I really don’t skulk in the corner. I have plans at least 3 weekends a month, and I try to feel engaged with the people I’m with and it just ends up not happening. I know there are people all around me, but we just don’t seem to fit together.</p>

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<p>Chesterfield,
What kinds of things do you enjoy doing? What are your hobbies? What are your academic, service, and social interests?</p>