If I could live anywhere in NE with our daughter

Hi Parents,

Firstly I wish everyone best wishes towards their child’s boarding school acceptance!

We have an opportunity to live in NE (most places anyway) and was wondering if any parent can suggest a couple of suburbs that has a nurturing environment / school for my 11 year old daughter.

We will work to put her in a boarding school for the great experience. In the meantime she will attend a school (public or maybe charter) then move her in grade 9.

I read that some schools do not like the idea of their students moving to boarding and teacher recommendations can be ify. I do not blame the teachers but Should that be a factor in our choice of school? Do the school frown on this plan?

Are there any schools out there that you would recommend for my daughter? She is hardworking and pretty smart (not brilliant smart). Curious and independent. Can be more reserved than outspoken in large groups.

Our choice would rest on a balance between academic rigour and a nurturing environment. Locationwise I am flexible but Not something rural.

This is probably a big ask but any suggestions would be great as we really need some direction.

Thank you and best of luck once again.

Do you mean New England or the Northeast? And to make sure I understand, you are looking for a public middle school that would be good prep for BS?

Does she have any special interests or extracurricular activities? Where I live in a suburb of Boston, middle schools don’t often have their own sports teams, so people play sports through town teams or club teams. You might want to consider that or you could end up doing a LOT of driving to EC’s. Some middle schools have extracurricular strengths/opportunities in music, theater, robotics, model UN, etc but it varies and in our school depended on the passion of a few teachers to lead these things. Also, middle school culture can be tough. In my town, the elementary experience was wonderful and nurturing, and people are happy with high school, but middle school is a low point as far as social pressure and “popularity”. My daughter went for 6th grade but moved to a small local private school for 7&8 because it was not a good fit.

Another thought–I hadn’t heard of teachers being reluctant to do recommendations for BS. That would likely depend on the teacher and you can’t plan for it. If you choose a big middle school, know that the teachers have >100 students each year so encourage your daughter to really get to know her math & english teacher in 8th grade to get informed recommendations.

I think the people who post here about having trouble with getting recommendations are a minority and looking for suggestions and support. Many public school teachers have no problem writing recommendations. I too live in the Boston suburbs and one thing to know is that schools are town based here (other parts of the country have different systems). There are a wide variety of options and housing costs - might be very high depending on where you are moving from. My kids are in private school now, but I am familiar with a lot of public schools in the area. Good luck with your search.

@emp995, some options off the top of my head.

If you don’t want rural, hmm.

You know, you could move to the area around Wellesley, and send your daughter to Dana Hall. It’s known for its nurturing community. It’s a private boarding/day school for girls, apparently adding a 5th grade this fall. If she likes the school, she could stay through 12th grade. If she wants to board in a different school, she could apply to other boarding schools at that point.

Wellesley and Dover-Sherborn are very well regarded public systems in the immediate area. You’d need to settle in Wellesley, Dover or Sherborn to send your daughter to the public middle school. I have no idea if the middle school is nurturing. Many of the “good” school systems are reputed to have high-pressure cultures.

You could settle in Andover. Being a day student at a boarding school is also wonderful. The Andover public schools are quite good–again, I don’t know if the middle school is nurturing.

Newton.

Harvard, Massachusetts (the town.) It is rural, but very elegant.

The New Haven, Connecticut area is bustling, with lots of culture. http://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/cities/best-towns-connecticut-young-families/

If you could live anywhere in NE, how about Maine?

If Mass, I second @Periwinkle’s endorsement of Harvard. Nice school system, rural and elegant is exactly right. If Maine, Falmouth, Yarmouth and Cape Elizabeth are beautiful communities with solid systems.

Also, consider what your life as a parent will be like, whether there will be people who share your interests or places for you to work/volunteer/enjoy recreational activities etc. Some places in New England are lovely but isolating!

Sorry, to be clear, New England

Newton and Lexington MA was listed in a poll as family oriented places to live in. For the culture in the schools, there are many helpful parents on this forum who are knowledgeable.

The New England states are:

Maine
New Hampshire
Vermont
Massachusetts
Rhode Island
Connecticut

http://discovernewengland.org/about-new-england/new-england-usa-quick-facts-0

If you chose cities in New Hampshire, Vermont or Maine you could ski.

Of all the NE states, Maine’s most likely to add “geographic diversity” points for a student, in my opinion. It’s relatively sparsely populated.

The southern part of New England has milder climate; it’s also closer to New York City, which can be a plus. The northern part is close to Canada.

Chiming in about the school type, not location. We have had great experience with the K-8 private schools. In such a small environment, middle school has been a breeze, and with 4 children, we have tried every type. Catholic, single sex, grades 6-12, etc… By the time they reach 8th grade, you kind of know who they are, and the school is supportive in making sure they continue to be confident and successful in HS.

Agree with @VACAlover that the type of school is more important than the location. There are good and bad schools everywhere.

What struck me was the combination of Boarding School and nurturing environment. Going off to school is hard at 18; doing that at 14 can be traumatic. Instead, if you could find an independent school with smaller classes, strong academics, and solid extracurriculars, it might work out that your daughter could stay in the same school for more than just a few years, live at home and receive your direct support, while doing well academically.

I can’t speak for true New England, but an example of the type of school I’m thinking of is the Princeton Day School in Princeton NJ. If you thought that an all-girls school might help, the Stuart Country day school is across the street. I don’t know anyone who goes there (know of them through extracurricular events), and by no means am recommending them specifically, but that type of independent school might fit both your current and future needs.

To @VACAlover’s point, often these schools are of religious founding. Catholic and Quaker schools are popular throughout New England.

Super everyone!

My daughter does not have any specific extra circular. The usual basketball, tennis maybe a little skiing.

I have very helpful suggestions from everyone (we are very thankful) for independent and private (private is unlikely due to $$ but thanks for the suggestions), option of day student at boarding school (in the near future) and several solid cities to work on.

Milder climate as suggested.

I agree that the middle school year can be tramautic. 7and 8 are usually the most difficult. After that it becomes easier. If daughter is not scarred by then :)).

It is actually very exciting researching the cities and schools…the school selection part is obviously more stressful unless we are fortunate to hit the jackpot early in coming across a great school for her.