<p>Do you always appreciate how nice they are to you or not? Do you try to join in with their activities?</p>
<p>As for me, people at my old school were usually nice to me. I appreciated it back then - but nonetheless I often did try to avoid them. My interests never really converged with the interests of anyone else - so consequently it was of no benefit for me to interact with anyone (especially once I started self-studying). A lot of nerds complain about how mean their classmates are - I never had such a problem - rather - people were usually nice to me but there was no benefit that could come from conversation. A lot of people are really shallow - so they might ask some superficial questions from me. Yet, I figure that they almost all have extensive social networks and will not be any worse off without me - so despite how nice they are to me - I just try to avoid them and go my own ways.</p>
<p>So at least I've benefited from my non-conformity - and that's what matters in the end...</p>
<p>i don't get the part about "My interests never really converged with the interests of anyone else - so consequently it was of no benefit for me to interact with anyone "</p>
<p>just because someone doesn't have the same interests as you doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. or at least in my eyes it doesn't. unless i'm missing something here?</p>
<p>
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just because someone doesn't have the same interests as you doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. or at least in my eyes it doesn't. unless i'm missing something here?
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<p>Well, not absolute convergence of course. It's just that no one has an even remote capacity to understand my thoughts or desires, so it consequently becomes pointless for me to interact with anyone (that I know in real life at least). I don't really do anything other than to ask questions now. I dunno, I'm becoming tired of socializing now. =/</p>
<p>==
My main question dealt with "how do you react to someone who is superficially nice to you?" I don't know though - my belief system is so divergent from that of just about anyone - so people would start thinking that I'm weird the more they know me (so it's ideal for them not to learn too much about me). So I'm not open unless that person shows a genuine desire to ask questions to me (it has happened before, and it has resulted in them avoiding me).</p>
<p>So basically, it's the question - if you know that the person is probably going to avoid you if you are entirely honest to that person, then are you going to be non-open? (even if you may both exchange superficial social niceties?)</p>
<p>I haven't made any new friends since 2005 (though there is one or two I met on CC in 2007 who might become a friend). And I've never made any friends outside of CC since... It's more advantageous for everyone else to socialize with their own kind - so there doesn't seem to be any reason for me to reach out. But yet, there's always the possibility of latent interest that I may have, or latent interest that others may have.</p>
<p>For me personally, I have very little in common with my peers, at least when I see them at their nice, superficial level. And though, for the majority, I've found I still have little in common with when digging into their personalities, there are a few who have come to surprise me. Don't count people out just because you believe yourself too non-comformist, etc. Even if there aren't people you can truly connect with, just be nice to them on an equally superficial level. That way, you keep them happy for networking purposes and decrease the drama load. Wish you well with your social life nonetheless.</p>
<p>You know most people are not deliberately superficial. It could be that they don't know anything else about you;and, are trying to find a safe and common ground that could lead to more meaningful interactions. I know this from personal expeerience. I'm horrible at small talk and have made quite a few acquaintances as a result but very few good friends. So just don't contribute it to stupidity or malice and maybe indulge a few more minutes of the small talk next time.</p>
<p>The problem is that there are a lot of potential people you can socialize with - and socializing with some takes away time from others. But yes - surprises certainly do happen. A lot of the introverted types can be very surprising once you get to know them well. </p>
<p>Can I be sure that everyone I meet is superficial and not worth my time? (or I not worth their time?) No. Most of the time, such sentiment is right (with respect to most people). But if it is carried on persistently, then it will result in the avoidance of someone who might become very friendly with me.</p>
<p>My best Internet friends are nowhere like me (hm, it seems that all of them took the initiative in approaching me since they found my forum posts interesting - and that was back in 2001-2005) - it's just that no one at my old school was even remotely academically inclined - and that turned me off.</p>
<p>I'm still too shy to PM anyone on CC though (with the exception of one - he was just too similar to me :p)</p>
<p>I don't think that a dichotomy between "people who are benificial to know" and "people who won't do anything for me" should exist. It's too black and white. Dividing people into only those two camps comes off as slightly arrogant. </p>
<p>If you don't ever connect with people that you don't have much in common with then you're just surrounding yourself with people exactly like you. That's not very fun...</p>
<p>Also, It's important to judge everyone on an individual level; generalizations aren't usually accurate.</p>
<p>I really can't stand it when people are nice to me because they know I don't really like them, and they think by being nice to me 24/7 i'm going to suddenly want to be their best friend. No, it just annoys the hell out of me.</p>
<p>and yes i know this really has no relevance to the main topic at hand here.. i just thought i'd throw that out there.</p>