If you have time, please help (grade my essay)?

<p>I know these SAT essays are tedious, and I try not to post them as much as possible, but I kind of need a realistic evaluation of how I am doing with these essays. Anyway, if you have time and do not mind reading this, please please pleeeeeeeeeease help me grading it? For I am afraid I'll be biased and give myself more than what I deserve. Anyway, thanks so much in advance ^^</p>

<p>Prompt: What motivates people to change? [First essay in the BB, if anyone recalls].</p>

<p>From the dawn of humanity, Homo sapiens have always managed to discover new methods to ameliorate themselves and their community. From the simple biological evolution, to the invention of synthetic fiber, and from religious persecutions to the emancipation of slaves, people have questioned their own beliefs, and imposed changes whenever and wherever necessary. When adversities arise, people change from the better. When in these adverse situations, it is very often sensible to adopt new means of action, and change to better the circumstances. </p>

<p>When being presented by the luxurious comforts enjoyed by the affluent upper class, Jules knew it was time to change his position in society. Jules, the main character of novel /them/ by Joyce Carol Oates, was inspired to change his social standing when he realized he desired to enjoy the material comforts of the wealthy. Driven by this desire, he began to work his way up the social hierarchy, changing his manner, attitude, and appearance. One can see that Jules had undergone drastic changes in order to obtain what he had wanted the most. </p>

<p>People don't always change for their own benefits, however. Very often, they are willing to change for their loved ones, and fulfilling the expectations of themselves imposed by those whom they care about the most dearly. In /Little Women/ by Alcott, the youngest sister was bratty and selfish, and she was often criticized for her vanity and selfishness. But because she had admired her older sisters, she was willing to relinquish her stubborn habits, and become a better sister and a more considerate young woman. Without her sisters' love and care, she would not have had the motivations to ameliorate herself. </p>

<p>Not only do individuals change, society changes over time as well. Up until the Civil War, 1/4 of the U.S. population was enslaved. Naturally, the rooted slavery was against many people's values and religious beliefs. Many seers, led by Abraham Lincoln, realized the problems with an enslaved society, and unified their strength in order to change the social structure of the nation. Their revolutionary leaders' convictions of what was better for the society urged them to take action and defend what they believed is right.</p>

<p>Change can be scary, for its consequences cannot be known until well after we take action. However, love, desire, and the pursuit of one's beliefs drive people to make changes that hopefully would fulfill their common purpose, which is for the better of an individual, or a mutual community.</p>

<p>Notes: Yeah...as I was typing I realized really awkward phrasings but couldn't help it as I was writing because of the time limit (I gave myself extra 5 minutes too...oops). The conclusion is kind of terrible, and my ideas were all over the place. The supporting details were probably all wrong haha but I don't think that matters. And comments about length? And coherence?</p>

<p>THANK YOU. =)</p>

<p>Um, seriously no one? =(</p>

<p>Bump. 10Char</p>

<p>I'd suggest posting at Mystery</a> Tutor Vault Forums . He seems to grade essays fairly often.</p>

<p>Alright, thanks.</p>