<p>SORRY FOR THE LENGHTH...I AM WRITING A TEAR ACCOMPANIED TRAIN OF THOUGHT, AND JUST HOPE SOMEONE READS THIS. *also cross posted like hell....sorry for spamming everything :/</p>
<p>it's the end of my freshman year in school (as a pharmacy major) and my 2nd semester grades have just been posted online. things have NOT gone well--to say the least. my gpa is a 2.33. with the removal of my calc grade, and its 4credits (i failed it), my gpa is a 2.53.</p>
<p>i was supposed to maintain a 3.0 in order to maintain my scholarship, and now it is highly unlikely that in the fall i will make that up during my academic probation, so i will lose it. i can't afford to go to my school without the scholarship. i'll have to try and transfer now for spring, because i really have no other options... after my 1st smester (with my 2.6 gpa), me and my parents knew that i had to have an overall gpa by the end of a 3.0, and i still messed it up. i am an idiot. the only A i got was in a 1cr class.</p>
<p>i used to be a good kid, a good student. throughout my entire hs career i only got maybe 3 c's total. everything was A's...with the occassional b. i did well on my sats, and i graduated with honors, so that makes it even worse that i have failed everyone's expectations of me.</p>
<p>i feel so pathetic. like im worthless. i dont even know if my parents will even LET me go back to school in the fall to at least try and keep my scholarship. i have let them down so much this past year. i dont even know how to tell them about my grades this semester. i honestly dont know how they will respond. i think this will be the screw up where they finally decide to give up on me. im so sad and scared, because my entire family has sacrificed so much, and tried so hard, for me to end up with a 2.5 at a school they are paying 30,000$ for. im such a failure, and i dont even know if i will evr be able to gain my parents trust after this. i literally am crying right now in my room because i feel so helpless and ****ed up.</p>
<p>i am sitting here trying to figure out why i just destroyed my whole life this year, and if i can even ever fix this...and how to tell my parents......</p>
<p>pull yourself up; examine why you're getting bad grades. Is the material too hard? are you not studying enough? Maybe you're not cut out for pharmacy, many people aren't. </p>
<p>Maybe you can transfer into a community college and start over there. You have many options, just keep your head up and do well.</p>
<p>My roomate is in a much worse situation than you; i seriously worry for him. His gpa is less than 2.0 and this is his second year. BUt he's just plain lazy, you don't sound lazy so just examine yourself and your major.</p>
<p>Hobo's right. Community college may seem scary, but it's absolutely a place to start over. Many students do badly at their four years and go to community colleges, do well, and end up in amazing schools and eventually with amazing careers. If you have the motivation, then pull yourself together and plan ahead.</p>
<p>And your parents love you. Believe me, no matter how much you may not believe it, they really do. It may take some time to prove to them that you're ready to move on and correct your past, but it will happen. You are not worthless, and your parents know that.</p>
<p>Its okay. I got a 0/200 in organic chemistry II. I'll lose my scholarship too and I used to be guaranteed into dental school but now I don't know anymore. </p>
<p>I've realized though that everything happens for a reason. Maybe pharmacy isn't the thing for you. So many things happen in college...you've just got to find what suits you.</p>
<p>Whatever happens, YOU CAN handle it man. Nothing is ever too late or unsalvageble. Things may get harder, but everything will work out in the end if you just have faith in yourself.</p>
<p>That's the thing, perhaps it was misguided motivation. i mean you shouldn't lead your life over what other people expect of you. Take this advice from a stranger as you might, but this is straight anecdotal evidence:</p>
<p>Although I really don't wanna go into my ordeal in detail, it was similar in that there was a lot of discomfort/guilt issues with family. First thing i realized was coming to accept personal responsibility. It's so important in dealing with issues you feel guilty about. If you feel it's your fault, find out why you did it? Perhaps there's underlying issues of anger involved (overbearing parents?). I mean there must be a reason that you felt you wanted to punish your parents by hurting them (if that really is the case).</p>
<p>i don't think the majority of it is being 'angry' at your parents...i think it is the endless job of yours to please them. I think the one thing I've always resented about Asian parents is that no matter what you do, they'll never say "i'm proud of you" or encourage you in any way shape or form. The guilt that stems from failing isn't really much from losing your scholarship, or that you're personally a complete and utter worthless piece of crap. If anything, you'll just take hte classes over.
its the idea that your parents are going to kick your ass that really hurts.</p>
<p>Someone said it in CC somewhere else. "it's never too late" to basically do whatever you want. Okay, you f-ed up a year? Who cares? Your parents? Your parents aren't going to disown you. They may be mad, but they'll still love you. If they're mad at you, it's because they thought/knew you could do better, so they'll give you another chance. If you have parents like that, there's no way they'll give up on you and say "no more school, go get a job". Calc is a hard class. It's the most abstract mathematics that most people ever see (it tends to make people lose interest in math), and it's one of the most difficult classes that most people encounter. Basically, you didn't f-ck up your life like you say you did, so keep your head up.</p>
<p>That being said, go to your advisor immediately and talk about the situation. If you're in a hole, covering it up and not doing anything about it is about the worst thing you can do (same thing with your classes. Having trouble in calc? go to the professor immediately and have him/her explain what you're not understanding). There are obviously things you need to change. If pharmacy bores you, you won't care about the classes and won't study. You did well in HS and well on the SATs, so you can definitely make it in college. It's just a whole new place that you have to adjust to. Most people do a lot better sophomore year because it takes a while to get used to being on your own with freedom. Keep your head up, don't worry what your parents say or think of you. When you pull through they'll have a lot more respect for you.</p>
<p>Ti, this doesn't make us feel better about ourselves. I don't think anyone gets a kick out of someone else's misfortune. Look, you have a long life ahead of you. This is a small bump on a long road. This is nothing, you'll look back and laugh. I'm not kidding. BUT, you need to get serious. Obviously you can do the work. I'd go in and talk to someone ASAP. They'll listen and if you ask for another semester to prove yourself I can guarantee they will but you need to be convincing. I have a friend in the same situation and he talked his way out of it. You just need to let them know that you're serious.</p>
<p>The first thing you have to do is completely forget the past ever happened. Act like you had straight As all along.
Next, make completely delusional, inflated aspirations and goals for yourself.
It's the only way you'll never be dragged down by it again.</p>