<p>So I got this as an officer interview question for National Honor Society today and I had ABSOLUTELY no idea how to answer this- I basically said something along the lines of "Try my hardest not to get eaten" and kind of averted the question. </p>
<p>I'm just curious as to how some of you that are more... creatively-inclined would respond. Lol</p>
<p>Omg, this is great. I think I would act dead serious about it and be like, " if I was unlucky enough to have somehow been transformed into a cucumber, I doubt I would be sentinent any longer. Even if I was, cucumbers have no muscles or any way of moving or speaking. I would have no choice but to be eaten. Maybe next I’ll be reincarnated into something better than a cucumber."</p>
<p>The idea of a “me” separate from my brain is just a convenient metaphor I use to describe how experiences are happening and they seem to be happening to something. My particular consciousness only exists because I was born in this place at this time to these parents. It’s completely incoherent to ask what I’d do if I were anything other than what I am. </p>
<p>Be the leader that i am and form an army of the other cucumbers and tomatoes and lettuce, and rebel against the eater.</p>
<p>Try to be as tasty as possible, since that is my purpose. </p>
<p>Is this supposed to be a metaphor for waiting for D-Day Ivy admissions today?</p>
<p>There are times when you just can’t give an answer, this is one of those times</p>
<p>pray to da laaaaaaaaaawdy laaaaaaaaaaawd and hope jeowwwwwwwwwva av marcy on ma souuuul</p>
<p>Also, if I’m a sentient cucumber in a salad then I’m already cut up and apparently still alive, so why should I care if I get chewed on?</p>
<p>I would refer to the end of Finding Nemo, where the school of fish swims down and breaks the net. If my salad friends unite against the oppressor, we will prevail.</p>
<p>On another note, I would also try to appeal to the salad-eater. If he realizes that us cucumbers are nice, intelligent vegetables, maybe he/she will become a meatitarian.</p>
<p>Go into an elaborate description about how we’re all essentially cucumbers, ready to be eaten, lonely beings in a deterministic universe consisting merely of matter.</p>
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<p>My revised senior paper thesis is now this :P</p>
<p>This reminds me of a conversation we had in eighth grade when talking about whether the United States (diversity-wise) is a melting pot, a mosaic, or a salad.
Me: It’s a salad
Friend: Well I don’t see any lettuce or vegetables
Me: Maybe you’re the vegetable…
Friend: And maybe you’re the lettuce…
Friend 2: And maybe I’m the dressing
<em>AWKWARD SILENCE</em> </p>
<p>I mean, it isn’t like my existence as a cucumber would have been fulfilling otherwise - so I might as well serve a purpose and be consumed because it isn’t as if a cucumber could offer much more to society. Isn’t NHS all about service? I suppose sacrificing your conscious cucumber self to the health of another by being a nutritious snack is pretty charitable. </p>
<p>I would be a damn delicious cucumber. The person eating that salad would forever remember that salad as the best salad he had ever eaten.</p>
<p>But I would be tainted with salmonella, so he would also remember that salad as the last meal he ate before almost dying on the toilet.</p>
<p>Even as a cucumber @preamble1776 searches for meaning and purpose in a world devoid of both [-( </p>
<p>Unless this salad was my soul-salad-mate, I would roll out and search for my one true salad.</p>
<p>How about throwing yourself down the throat of the person eating the salad as soon as you are put in their mouth, hoping to choke them and then be ejected across the room as someone valiantly attempts the Heimlich Maneuver to dislodge you? Then rolling away under furniture to hide.</p>
<p>I’d roll around in the vinaigrette, turn into a pickle, and ■■■■■ him in my last dying breath(?)</p>
<p>Oh, before trying the choking thing, you could try to negotiate. Tell the eater that even pigs don’t eat cucumbers.</p>