If you were an admission officer.....

Parents Forum
1

<p>Okay, this isn't really the forum for college essays but I want adults to give me some impressions on my college essay. If you were an admission officer, what do you get out of my essay and know about me based on my essay? I have 3 versions of my essay and the story is the same except each one is formatted differently with different details and i'm not sure which one is best for submission to the colleges. If you can spare some time to help me pick out the best one for me to submit and give me some impressions about who i am, I will thank you. I will PM them in 3 messages to you. If you can help me, please comment or pm me. Thankss!</p>

2

<p>I would be happy to try to help. I’m not an English major, but I am a psychologist, so maybe I’d have an insight or two.</p>

3

<p>I’ll help you out.</p>

4

<p>Thank you (’: Ill Pm you the essays!</p>

5

<p>I think 3 is the best, but there are grammatical errors. Try to understate rather than overstate, as in don’t be overly dramatic.</p>

6

<p>Agree with Bettie. Go with no. 3. Pay attention to sentence structure.</p>

7

<p>Thanks! Are you refering it to my last paragraph?</p>