I'll give you a cookie if you read my SAT essay

<p>So I've been lurking for quite a while on CC and since I'm taking the SAT in six days I was wondering if maybe you guys could read my essay. I wasn't sure if it was better to use three different examples from different places ie personal, historical, literature or just pull a couple of examples from one source.</p>

<p>Hear's the prompt: We often hear that we can learn much about someone or something just by casual observation We are not required to look beneath the surface or to question how something seems. In fact, we are urged to trust our impressions, often our first impressions, of how a person or a situation seems to be. Yet appearances can be misleading. What "seems" isn't always what is.</p>

<p>Is the way something seems to be not always the same as it actually is?</p>

<p>Essay</p>

<p>An appearance is no more than a quick perception of the surface of an issue. To actually understand something one must look beyond the superficial and delve deeper into the actual issue. Sometimes, what one perceives initially is only further supported by a deeper evaluation, but many times a deeper look brings about a new point of view. The notion that appearances are not necessairily all tell is ubiquitous in literature, history, and modern life.</p>

<p>To demonstrate this idea, one can look at the life of Edna Pontellier from The Awakening by Kate Chopin. Edna is seen by her peers in New Orleans to be one of the most fortunate wives with a husband who dotes on her, adorable children, and a house scintillating with signs of prosperity. However, Edna is having an affair with her husband because she feels that he only provides her with money but no emotional understanding. Although the wives that Edna knows are jealous of Edna's relationship with Leonce and perceive Edna to be wonderfully content, Edna feels no love for Leonce. In addition, Edna views her children as societal constraints and compares them to shackles bonding her to her husband and forcing her to not be able to pursue further her adulterous affair with Robert Lebrun. Although society views a mother's role in her children's lives as one that leads to monumentous joy and believes that Edna's blessed life comes from having the ability to take care of her children, it is her children who eventually lead her to commit suicide. Finally, the wealth that Edna's husband subtly advertizes at every opportunity actually is a coverup of a failing relationship. When Leonce leaves for business in the middle of The Awakening, Edna moves out of her house into a hut in order to get away from her husband's possessions that he associates her with. When Leonce hears about Edna's move he has it advertized in the newspaper that his wife and he are having renovations done to their already more than modest house, and that when he comes back from business he and his wife will go on a romantic vacation while a renowned archietect finishes his house. To anyone in New Orleans reading the newspaper, it seems that Edna Pontellier is living a life free from financial burden with a loving husband. This is the appearance that Leonce wanted to give off. However this appearance was misleading because Edna in fact moved to get away from her husband not to have her house redone. Edna Pontellier's awakening exemplifies that what seems is not always what is.</p>

<p>Appearances, thus, appear in every facet of life whether as a mother and a wife or a business man people purposefully give off appearances. To understand reality one must not casually observe but research thoroughly.</p>

<p>So how do you think I did? What score would I have received if a reader was grading this? Would it be better to have used three separate examples? I wish we had five more minutes because I could have gotten rid of some errors, but alas.</p>

<p>Thanks for your time in advance!</p>

<p>It started off well and the writing is good, but the organization isn’t quite what graders are looking for. You’ll want to have three different, solid examples organized into three relatively lengthy paragraphs (about a third of your giant body paragraph each).</p>

<p>Thanks! I’ll try that next time.
Anyone else?</p>

<p>buuuuummmp</p>