<p>Hi, so of course I'm taking the SATs tomorrow and I'm hoping to get some feedback on this essay. Looking at it now I can already see some things i want to revise, but I guess I won't have that opportunity tomorrow, so I'll leave it alone. Thanks and feel free to post an essay of yours that I can respond to.</p>
<p>Practice Test #3 in Blue Book:
Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>Conscience is certainly more important in motivating people than the gaining of wealth, fame, and power. Although a cynic may argue that mankind is primarily driven by monetary gain and selfish nature, I maintain that this assertion has been proven false time and time again. This can be seen in the Revolutionary War, the rise of Andrew Carnegie, and The Great Gatsby.</p>
<p>The Minutemen of the Revolutionary War fought and died for a cause the believed in. With a meager pittance for compensation to fight the redcoats, the patriots who sided with the United States truly valued the greater good. They sacrificed their lives to defend freedom and the security of Americans in order to achieve the goal of establishing an independent nation. Their dream was achieved with the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Although hundreds of thousands of people died, each of their lives proved that the concepts of right and wrong were of greater influence to them than superficial gains.</p>
<p>The Great Gatsby exemplifies the idea of conscience trumping selfishness as well. In this book by F. Scott Fitzgerald an extremely wealthy man, Jay Gatsby, seems to care only of his wealth. He throws lavish parties for people he doesn't know and appears very focused on his riches. As time progresses, however, it is revealed that money is not his concern. Gatsby truly only wanted to attract Daisy, his love, believing she would appreciate his success. In reality it was love, a noble aspiration, not greed, which drove him toward his apparent success.</p>
<p>Also demonstrating the power of morals rather than materialism is Andrew Carnegie. This Scottish born immigrant to America had humble beginnings. He gradually grew from poverty through his ventures in the railroad and steel industries, which eventually made him into the richest man in the world during the late 1800s. On his way to the top he did not bribe politicians, nor did her practice unfair business policies. Not only that, but his intention never was to become so wealthy, it was to help others. A great philanthropist, Carnegie built thousands of libraries among other feats, and showed genuine concern for his fellow man.</p>
<p>The two forces of morality and selfishness have constantly been juxtaposed in society. However when one examines these forces' historical and literary context, it can be seen that the former truly is more powerful. The conscientious Minutemen beat the causeless British, love prevailed over greed in The Great Gatsby, and Carnegie, an honest man, was more successful than his contemporaries such as Vanderbilt and Rockefeller, who manipulated others for personal gain.</p>