My D begins the sorority recruitment process today. She is very interested in joining a sorority, However if she does not get into one she will not be crushed. I have read many things about sorority recruitment at IU ( e.g. on greekchat, etc.). Some girls who don’t get in are so hurt that they end up transferring to another college. I’ve seen posts by women who years later are still bitter that they were not selected. Yeah it would be nice if my D was accepted, but to me it is not the end of the world. She knows she is at IU Kelley (OOS) to get a great education and a job after 4 years. If the sorority social thing works, then great. If not, she will find a different social circle.
Assuming she gets into a house with 100 girls living in it, I’m curious how that works logistically. How do they all manage the bathrooms in the morning? Do they all eat dinner together each night? Is it ever quiet at night for studying? All her clothes and stuff barely fit into her small dorm room- will it all fit in a room in a sorority?
Any insights into this process and logistics of sorority living would be appreciated. Any other pro or con opinions of the whole process are welcomed as well.
Having lived in an IU sorority house, the logistics really aren’t that bad.
My house had 4 bathrooms, each with showers/sinks/toilets. The only time hot water was an issue was before recruitment when everyone got up at the same time. Generally dinner is a couple hours long, so not everyone is in there at once–there are also late plates too for if you have class. Yes, it’s pretty quiet most nights, and there’s alwqys a quiet space in the house to study.
Rooms are small, but you make it work. We had 4 girls in a room with 3 closets…you maximize all available inches, haha. It also forces you to prioritize a bit and not bring everything you own (since you will acquire new tshirts, sweatshirts, etc etc)
It’s a very organized process for as many girls they have rushing. I think if girls keep an open mind and relax and be themselves they can find a good fit. ~ but some find it just isn’t for them. We always had a 24 hr. quiet room and there was an emphasis on good grades. The networking with other girls and connections is very beneficial. Then there is the safety factor… I had 70 or 80 girls looking out for me ( and I for them) versus living off campus with a couple girls.
LIving in a house had a huge positive impact on me. Best wishes to all the girls rushing!!
My Kelley frosh daughter just found out she was asked back to 8 houses, 5 of which were in her bottom 6. She’s bummed but staying optimistic. Any thoughts/tips from those who’ve been through this as a student or parent? Thx!
The rush process is pretty tough at IU. So many girls set their sights on a specific house, and then they are devastated when they don’t get asked back. I think if the girls keep an open mind, and realize that every sorority offers sisterhood, parties, and dances, they will find the right fit. Tell your daughter to go back to all of the houses and give them another look. Hopefully she will be pleasantly surprised! Good luck!
This is the time of surprises… by invites and lack of invites. It happens to all of the girls rushing. Encourage her to keep going and not listen to other girls rushing. A good attitude will get them far at his stage.
@upperarlington, I think you’re talking about greekrank, not greekchat. Agree greekrank should be taken with a grain of salt. Greekchat is a forum similar to College Confidential, although I find people can be snarky there. It sounds like there were much larger cuts between the first and second rounds of recruitment this year vs. last year. I have no idea why, or which is more the “norm” for IU recruitment. Last year was an oddball year due to the snowstorm and cutting an entire round of recruitment at the last minute.
The rush schedule was altered last year because of the nasty weather. Because of that mix up the actives were not sure how heavily to cut throughout the process, so many waited until the end. Therefore, many girls did not receive a bid even after the 3 party stage. So this year houses were told to cut early (between first and second), in order for girls to not dwell on the house they missed out on, but to move forward and give other houses a good look. Hopefully more girls will find a place to call home!
My D had a good first weekend for sorority recruitment. She said she enjoyed the process. Hopefully this coming weekend will go well and there will be a happy ending on Tuesday the 20th.
Well my D did not get a bid last night and we are stunned. She is upset, but will get over it. She had the 9 max visits this past Saturday and got her top 3 ranked visits on Sunday. She struggled to rank them 1 to 3 on Sunday night because she liked them all and thought all 3 visits went very well. These are middle tier houses, she has a high GPA and is very personable.
I know it is a numbers game and spots are limited, but does anyone have any insight why this happened at the very end? If she ranked her top 3 in a different order could she have gotten a bid? Did this happen to anyone else?
Racquetdad, and all those sharing his experience, welcome to my world as a heart sick parent 3 years ago. These next few days, weeks and in some cases, the rest of the semester will be very hard for your daughters. I tried very hard to have an impact on this cruel system and its aftermath 3 years ago with no success. Please check out the following forum for more insight into the sorority recruitment process at IU: http://sororityparents.com/2011/01/sorority-recruitment-at-indiana-university_bloomington/#comment-342
This forum is very active!
You will see that you are definitely not alone and may be able to organize something more vocal and successful from the number of voices that are now demanding to be heard. Three years ago the number of outraged parents willing to take action were much smaller. The growth of this forum may suggest otherwise.
There are a few things to keep in mind and try to act on now:
Your daughter may feel very alone. Spring recruitment is very cruel, considering many friendships were made during fall semester and now friendships will be strained based on the fact that many of your daughters friends did have a successful recruitment outcome. Those “lucky” young women will be so busy with sorority activities and may be encouraged to distance themselves from their former friends. I hope no one on this forum challenges me on this fact, as this abandonment happened to my daughter and she was told specifically by her sorority “friends” that they no longer had time for her and that they really were being encouraged by their houses to bond with their new sisters and they needed to move on from their old friendships. There was no university support for these rejected young women 3 years ago, and my understanding is that it does not exist today. I was very vocal to the president of the university about the lack of psychological support and how this should be built into the process at IU considering the history of this cruel system. I was told that this would change, that rejected women would be encouraged to go to a specific support group or the support group brought to them, but my understanding is this hasn’t happened. Please let your daughters know they are not alone and help them find each other. They need each other!
Find nice housing for your daughter for next year immediately! This was a key factor in helping my daughter move on. There is going to be a huge number of disappointed girls scrambling for premium apartments this weekend and living in a nice, safe place next year with lots of other students will make a huge difference. These apartments will go fast! My daughter found 3 other girls from her dorm, who, as yours should have been included in the Greek system but now had to think about where they would live next year. They found a very nice apartment on College Ave. The apartment was beautiful, there was a very nice gym free of charge, a free shuttle that ran every 10 minutes to the IU campus, lots of other great students/people living there and this became an experience that we believe was better than being in a sorority house. It provided them with real life experiences. It was coed, varsity athletes lived there, the girls had to grocery shop and cook for themselves. All of this sounded overwhelming at first, but by the time the girls moved in at the beginning of sophomore year, they were excited and took pride in their situation.
Encourage your daughter to get involved in clubs/intramurals/extracurriculars immediately. Many clubs close off membership in the fall, so she needs to act fast to get into the ones that are still open. Call out meetings are probably this week and next. She needs to find something otherwise the pain of seeing her sorority friends in the dorms who are now too busy for her will magnify her pain. She WILL make new friends!!
Visit your daughter or bring her home for a visit during Mother/Daughter Sorority weekend. In the past it has been over the president’s weekend. The town of Bloomington absolutely caters to this weekend. I went to visit my daughter and was appalled at how both of us were treated when we tried to try on clothes in a shop, arrived for a scheduled manicure…we were cast aside and the sorority parents/daughters were given priority. We did not wear Greek letters, so that is how we stood out. It is a good weekend to not be there, but if you are there with her you can help your daughter stand tall and help her advocate for herself.
Encourage her to try to stay at IU. She will become a strong voice there and take pride in the fact that not only did she survive this but she pulled herself up, persevered, and succeeded. My daughter was in Kelley and we did not want her to quit. We encouraged her to try to make things work and helped her see many of the things IU and Kelley still had to offer her. If at the end of fall semester sophomore year, she just couldn’t remain there, we would have helped her transfer. Happily it didn’t take that long. Honestly, freshman spring semester was very difficult, but after living off campus for one week fall semester of sophomore year, she was happier than I had ever seen her. She made lifelong friends, found her niche in student government and business clubs and was learning to balance school, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of herself overall. What a tremendous boost to her self esteem after having felt so battered, humiliated and rejected from the sorority system. As her time at IU comes to an end this spring, she is grateful she found a way to make things work for her. She expresses that it will be hard to leave IU and say goodbye to all the great friends she has made. She will be graduating this spring, already has a job upon graduation in an executive leadership program (thanks to all her hard work in Kelley and the amazing coaching from the University Career Services Office) and I am proud to say that she is one strong, independent woman.
Please pm with me if you think I can help you or your daughter.
Fast forward one year to last night. My D received a sorority bid and she is very happy!
She was devastated from not getting a bid last January. It took awhile for her to recover. I give her credit for being very resilient. Since then she has moved into an off campus apartment with roommates who have become good friends. She has become more involved in IU extracurricular activities and has made more good friends. I was surprised that she wanted to rush again since she was very happy socially this past fall semester. So she got what she wanted and I’m happy for her. Some of her sophomore friends also received bids last night.
I’m sure there are some young women (and parents) who are now experiencing the devastation that my D experienced last year. Keep your head up. You will recover from this and find your place at IU. And you may be more fortunate next year if you decide to rush again. It is a brutal process for sure.
