<p>I am going to start my second semester in college next week and i am just dreading it.
Going to college has been the hardest thing i ever had to do. When I am there I just have no desire to do anything fun. I have some friends but I do not enjoy hanging out with them nearly as much as I enjoyed hanging out with my high school friends. I cant help but compare my old friends to my new ones. I know it has only been a semester but, I dont click with them as much. I just cant shake the feeling that college would be so much better if I had at least one close friend from home with me. I know for a fact if I went to college with one of my best friends i would be having a blast. College is a time to brach out and find yourself without the influence of people you already know. But, maybe I just am not ready yet. Instead of taking this huge leap maybe I should have just taken a step. If I went to school with a friend i would still be away from my family and hometown. Going to college still would have been a huge adjustment but, the blow would have been a lot softer. I don\t know.
And it doesn\t help that all of my friends from high school love college. Not that i want them to be unhappy I just don\t want to feel so alone. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I feel like everyone is moving on and growing up and I am stuck in this rut. College is supposed to be amazing and I feel like I am missing out. I feel upset and frustrated that I am not having a good time. Its just the worst feeling in the world when I am with my high school friends and relatives or other friends ask us how college is. They all quickly and passionately say, \I love it!\. I just stand there not saying anything trying to fight the tears that are welling up in my eyes. Why can\t I be happy to? Everyone is so excited to go back to school and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. To say the least I am jealous of them. They are doing completely fine without me and I am a wreck without them. Nobody deserves to be miserable. I am also afraid that I am going to lose my high school friends and then I will have nobody who I enjoy hanging out with anymore. I am so afraid that my high school friends will replace me. I know for a fact that I will never replace them. How can i let go of my old life (without losing my old friends) and embrace college? Can i do it alone?</p>
<p>The opinions that many people publicly speak about college are inflated. Everyone “loves” it and I doubt their the opinions they spout reflect perfect truth. I understand where you are coming from in feeling that everyone loves college but you. I am a college student who is not at all excited by the mere fact that they are in college and who lacks “spirit” in the sense of cheering at sports events and displaying blind pride in your school’s superiority and their rivals’ inferiority. I also think part of it is effort-justification. The students who are paying the most and the ones who “barely got in” have the most spirit. As a full-tuition merit scholarship student, I have found that I the “college experience” is overrated.</p>
<p>“The students who are paying the most and the ones who “barely got in” have the most spirit.”</p>
<p>My exact thoughts… It feels good to have someone corroborate this observation.</p>
<p>I have twins who are freshmen now and I’d like to share some observations:</p>
<p>D2 had a much harder and longer social adjustment period than D1. She’s just a different person who is not as sure of herself socially and took longer to find “true friends”. She is happy with them now, but she’s still at home for a week and I know it will be more difficult for her to dive back in to school when she returns. She is more sensitive to conflict with roommates and gets more homesick. It’s just who she is.</p>
<p>D1 just went back to school last night and it was very sad for all of us. She’s gone away, and the rest of us don’t have that intense feeling of excitement that we all had in August. It’s winter; cold and dreary, and that seems to suit our mood. I have no doubts that she’ll be fine and will “get into things” once her classes really get rolling. She’s very excited to see everyone again and even went back with a birthday cake for a friend. She talks about friends there as her “college family”.</p>
<p>People are different and you are clearly a sensitive soul with deep feelings. Don’t judge yourself harshly in comparison to people who live more on the surface of things or who are simply putting a happy face on their experiences for others. Freshman year is a challenge that you may need some help facing. Seek out your new “true friends” as well as any counseling services offered at your school to help you weather the blues.</p>
<p>can i just say, i feel the exact same way as you. my friends are all fitting in in college and making best friends within weeks and here i am in second semester with just acquaintances. i was so depressed coming back to school i started crying at the airport. it doesn’t help that everyone else seems to love it.</p>
<p>i asked my older siblings and parents what i should do about my problem and they said just wait, things will get better. of course this is easier said than done. in the mean time i just keep trying to put myself out there…</p>
<p>anyway, i thought i would just respond to tell you there are other people out there who feel the same way. you’re definitely not the only one who doesn’t love college.</p>
<p>I am paying a crapload more than pretty much everyone else in my entire dorm and I only think college is decent - good on the best of days.</p>
<p>For the most part I like my school but I frankly would rather speed the clock up and be standing on that stage receiving my sheepskin. I want to get a real job, make real money, live on my own and work 9-5 then get home and drink and play video games.</p>
<p>^^^LOL. I’m on your train DC! Haha.</p>
<p>To the OP, there are two options. You can embrace being alone or do something about being alone. Personally, I’m embracing being alone. But that’s me, and I’m not going to try to “influence” you or anything.</p>
<p>If you want friends, you’re going to have to put in the effort. Cliques have formed already and to be frank with you, the reality is that some people aren’t looking for any more friends. I didn’t say all, but some are like that. I don’t want to be generic and cliche and give you the “join clubs and organizations” because that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll make friends. Whenever there’s an opportunity to make friends, take advantage of it.</p>
<p>Stick it out, there’s a good chance it’ll get better. For a lot of people the first semester is rough due to being nervous about making friends or being homesick, although I was a bit odd and actually felt that way the 2nd semester. But I know a lot of people (obviously including me) that had better luck making long-lasting friendships as time went on. College isn’t always a party obviously, and they’ll be low points like this one where you just wanna go home, but chances are you’ll make a least one really good friend and find one thing you enjoy doing at some point. In the meantime, all I can really suggest is that you join clubs or groups you have an interest in. At the least come to the free food events and enjoy those :).</p>
<p>I totally get what you’re going through. I went to college and was so homesick and upset I could barely function. It was hard but I realized if I became involved and busy that would help. Are there any clubs you are interested in?</p>
<p>I agree with you a bit. I think if you are really having a hard time, you should consider transferring. Not all schools are the best social fit, and I do agree that those paying more tend to “have a better time”.</p>