I'm Getting More Nervous about the Alcohol

<p>I realize that there is drinking at all schools, but some seem to be more alcohol-fueled than others. Everything I've read now about Tulane says that campus police couldn't care less about underage drinking (but are very, very strict about drug use of any kind).</p>

<p>How on earth does anyone manage a heavy course-load AND be drunk from Thursday to Sunday? I'm not a drinker so I just don't relate.</p>

<p>We'll be visiting from Thursday to Sunday so I guess we'll get the full picture of how drunk a campus Tulane is. So I've gone from being over-the-moon about his acceptance to being really worried (he is an at-risk kid because there is a lot of addiction on his dad's side. He's fully aware of this and has managed it so far, but I'm pretty scared about this aspect of college life.)</p>

<p>Not really looking for answers here...I know there aren't any easy ones. Just "venting".</p>

<p>My D is a sophmore non drinker. She has been able to find a group of friends that are not into the drinking scene. She also goes to some parties and just doesn’t drink. </p>

<p>I think that any young person going off to college needs to think about the drinking/drugs/party culture ahead of time, knowing that it will be at any college. The student needs to decide what kind of group s/he wants to associate with. Maybe your son could role play different scenarios with you or some of his high school friends and practice saying no. </p>

<p>And, it’d be good for him to know where the line he can’t cross is. My D can go to parties and is able to say no to the alchohol. Some students maybe need to say no to the party to begin with if they know that once they get there it will be hard to say no. Everyone is different and has a different place where their no line is drawn. Your son needs to know where his is and be able to not cross it.</p>

<p>And, he will be able to find students similiar to him, he just needs to look for them.</p>

<p>I’m less concerned about his ability to say ‘no’ than his ability to say ‘yes’ and still be a functional student. I’m under no delusion that he won’t drink, I’m sure he will. I just hope he can balance that with the college workload.</p>

<p>Like I said, I know that there’s no easy answer… It’s an issue everywhere, unfortunately. </p>

<p>I just have to trust that I’ve laid good groundwork with him, that he’ll be responsible and also maybe turned off by people who overindulge.</p>

<p>Mavitale, I’m actually a little relieved that the campus police aren’t that strict with alcohol. I think it’s the kids that don’t have experience with alcohol that get busted. If our kids are going to drink, they’re going to drink. I am more nervous about them getting arrested for drinking and having it on their record. Some schools are known for drug use (It’s very sad that a lot of kids don’t view marijuana as a drug or that it’s no big deal.) To me, drugs are a big deal and I’m glad the campus police are strict about that. It’s kind of like parenting; pick your battles!</p>

<p>Okay, most parents will probably think I’m crazy but when my oldest daughter was 16, she went on a trip to Germany where the drinking age is 16. She is really small (under 100 lbs) and I was worried about her ending up with alcohol poisoning. So . . . I made her chug a few drinks with me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to be buzzed and I wanted her to know when to switch to water and stop drinking alcohol. Yes, she drank during her trip but she knew to be careful about it (while her friends were throwing up and passed out). She’s 20 now and she drinks some in college but I don’t think she binge drinks (and I think she’d tell me if she did because I’ve always been open and honest with her about alcohol). I will say though that neither her dad nor I have problems with substance abuse–that would be a little trickier in my opinion.</p>

<p>Please tell your son never to mix energy drinks with alcohol. We’ve had some problems with that here in Washington State and the energy drinks don’t allow the body to shut down when it’s had too much alcohol–the kids stay awake and keep drinking to the point that some of them die (just had one at Washington State University).</p>

<p>I wasn’t going to contribute to this thread (shocking, I know) because I got the impression mavitale wasn’t really looking for advice or info. As she said, just venting. But since the conversation has started, it seems pretty clear to me there are two issues that should be separated. 1) Drinking by university students in general, and how it can be handled; and 2) Drinking at Tulane compared to other universities. Let me also state as a definition for the purposes of this post that when I say drinking, unless otherwise modified by the adjective “moderate”, I mean excessive drinking.</p>

<p>As to 1, that is certainly a worthwhile discussion that has been had many times. I feel confident that a search of CC would turn up several forums where this has been thoroughly debated. I will only comment on 2.</p>

<p>There is no doubt at all that drinking at Tulane is no worse than at 98% of other universities. I have known for a long time through observation that the problem is actually worse at the more rural schools. So I was a bit surprised, although I shouldn’t have been, when Scott Cowen made the same comment during one of his talks at a reception for potential students. Those that attend urban and close-in suburban universities have far more options of things to do that involve either no drinking or where moderate drinking is normative. Like others that have posted on here, my D does not drink and there is tons to do and lots of people to do it with. There is a bigger group of students at Tulane that don’t drink excessively or at all than people think, probably because heavy drinkers stand out more. Also with the weather usually being warm enough to be outside comfortably, it isn’t all happening in a building like it would be at a northern or midwestern university.</p>

<p>Also, Tulane has a wellness center staffed with people very capable of helping anyone that wants to make sure they have someone to turn to for advice and encouragement. If someone that was afraid based on family history that drinking might get out of hand, they would be well advised to talk to someone at the center and agree with them to touch base on a weekly or so basis, even if just for a few minutes to say hi and confirm that everything is on track. There is always support there if needed.</p>

<p>Oliver is right, drinking is going to be a fact of life at college campuses. The trick, obviously, is for them to learn to deal with it responsibly. For many, that may mean getting over the stigma of asking for help, even before there is a real problem. More students would do a lot better if they realized that help doesn’t just mean rehab, it can simply mean some friendly guidance and support. Peer pressure is tough, so it often takes some outside resource to attenuate it.</p>

<p>Drinking is a problem. I find it interesting that rarely on these boards or anywhere else in life do people ask why exactly some people engage in drinking to the point of making themselves ill. No matter what their IQ, income level, or college attended some people will have a problem with alcohol. If a family has successfully prevented underage drinking up until the point of college that is certainly admirable. However, if a parent is extremely worried about their child succumbing to alcohol addiction once they leave home, then they should listen to their heart and act accordingly. That little voice in their head is called intuition. Parents who think there is a large difference in alcohol consumption among mainstream college campuses are kidding themselves. If your child is intent on anesthetizing him or herself it will not matter what college they attend. If they are intent on seeking out alcohol or drugs when you are not controlling their lives, they will find them. The question to ask and answer is what is it in their personality that drives them to seek the separation from reality. No college or its culture is responsible. Each person/family has to find their own way in this regard. It’s a tough call. If your child is not an abuser but gets caught with beer in their fridge, gets 25 hours of community service, mandatory 3 hours of counseling, a fine and a 10 page paper, and their advising time taken away and placed at the end of the list, it will definitely affect their college experience and grades negatively. But if that is the environment you feel would be required to keep your son or daughter from going off the deep end, then that is the right place for them to be. But it is not the right place for everyone and imposes punishment on kids who make a mistake as if they are or are going to be career offenders. So research your student’s college options in terms of alcohol policy as you would their course offering and grad school admission rates and choose what is right for your family.</p>

<p>Tulane students drink, but not usually at Tulane. The French quarter has easily accessible alcohol. So does the boot, which is a 5 minute walk from most res halls. Alcohol is there for those that want to drink. BUT, not all students want to drink! There are many students that don’t drink at Tulane and honestly, it’s not that hard to find them. You’ll probably even have a few on your floor that you’ll quickly bond with. Your RA will also put on programs (sometimes just for your floor and other times for the whole building) that will still give you something to do instead of getting drunk.
New Orleans is also an amazing location that you don’t need to be drunk to enjoy. The French quarter is amazing during the day, the farmers market is fantastic, and the countless museums, tours; and celebrities will keep you plenty busy.
Tulane, like any other school, has kids that drink. But no one is forcing you to be one of them.</p>

<p>Thanks for the input everyone. I had the discussion with my son and he said, “Mom, you don’t have to worry. I won’t do anything to jeopardize my college career. It means too much to me.”</p>

<p>And I do agree that being in a school near a city where there are LOTS of things to do is better than being out in the sticks (in the cold) where there’s nothing else to do.</p>

<p>mavitale,
My DS said that they had cracked down on the underage drinking at The Boot, and were being more prudent about carding the students there. And the frat parties have also had to be careful about the age of attendees. That said, alcohol consumption, as others have said, is a fact of life at most colleges and universities. Students will be exposed to it and should and most will learn to handle it in moderation. Best of luck to your son.</p>

<p>"I had the discussion with my son and he said, “Mom, you don’t have to worry. I won’t do anything to jeopardize my college career. It means too much to me.”</p>

<p>Mav – there is a 100% chance that your kid is going to engage in some risky, career jeopardizing behavior at college. Didn’t you? I know I did. And that chance will be 100% regardless of where he enrolls (other than maybe BYU I guess). Here’s some things about TU that make it somewhat less worry-some in this regard:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>There’s almost no student driving at TU. Riding drunk in taxis or the streetcar is a lot less dangerous than drunken driving. </p></li>
<li><p>Nola has a pretty laid back alcohol enforcement in bars and clubs. Which means your TU kid is more likely than elsewhere to drink in a public house. That’s a good thing imo. Clubs have bartenders measuring out the drinks and sober security guards in attendance. Also more expensive to drink in a bar. I think it is more dangerous for a kid to do his underage drinking in a frat house or “pre-gaming” vodka in a dorm room. More chance for a kid to learn how to drink socially/moerately I think. </p></li>
<li><p>Nola has more things to do, so there’s alternatives to getting wasted at a kegger again and again. My kid will often stay out really late on weekends, but that’s often because of a band or concert or festival (which may/may not involve few drinks). </p></li>
<li><p>The kids at TU (many of them on scholarship) generally have to work pretty hard.</p></li>
<li><p>Because of its party central city, TU has a serious but realistic/practical approach to student drinking. They try to keep the kids safe and learn to party responsibly, and don’t go out of their way to mess up kids disciplinary records for drinking violations. I also agree with TU’s sterner focus on drugs than alcohol. While drugs and booze are both dangerous, I think the drugs are more dangerous to the kids.</p></li>
<li><p>TU has a relatively low key sports and fraternity scene.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>All in all, I worry less about my kid at TU than I do about my kid at a small, rural and much stricter college.</p>

<p>Thanks guys. I went to NYU at night so I never had the full college experience. I am not a drinker and don’t really understand the appeal even for adults, but whatever.</p>

<p>I know he’s going to make some stupid choices, like we all do, and I agree that being out in the sticks is actually WORSE (and in the cold as well). I guess I just wanted some reassurance that Tulane is no worse than any other school when it comes to underage drinking, and it sounds like that is the case.</p>

<p>mavitale: northwesty is right on the mark in every single point. Very well stated. If your DS didn’t care about school, then it might be an issue. But the fact that he got into Tulane - PLUS has the values/attitude he has, shows that his academics are important and he will make solid decisions, even if that means experimenting with alcohol. He has to learn…it’s hard as a parent, but don’t be afraid.</p>

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<p>They don’t manage it.</p>

<p>I’m a 2nd year pre-med here at Tulane and I will tell you that, yes, drinking does happen. The first couple weeks of every new year the freshman <em>think</em> they’ll be able to party 24/7 etc; then, by the time the first set of midterms roll around, they are all scared silly.</p>

<p>I do sometimes go on out the weekends in which I have no exam the week following. I do like to enjoy myself and I’ll go do things off campus, too. But when it comes to drinking so much and partying so much that one’s grades suffer, those kids usually don’t come back their sophomore year. </p>

<p>As someone who takes school seriously, I can tell you that your son will not be tricked into thinking he can party 24/7. Tulane is a serious school for serious students. I was able to find like-minded students and befriend them, and he will too. Tulane is a diverse place; lots of interesting characters exist on this campus. It’s not only drinkers, it’s not only hermits, it’s not only science-kids, it’s not only liberal arts kids. Lots of our students exist in-between these categories, and spending your undergrad years at Tulane is a beautiful experience to have. </p>

<p>I know you were just venting but I wanted to add my 2 cents.</p>

<p>My dd told me a lot of the kids on TU Facebook page are talking about the partying and worrying- which shows me that the students are aware that it potentially can be a problem. The fact that they are aware and talking shows they are responsible and want to make good choices. I hope this helps.</p>

<p>D1 got a car as a sophomore due to various internships in and around NOLA. Students may have upperclassman friends with cars or motorcycles. NOLA is not known for the reliability of its public transportation system and so your student may in fact be in someone’s car from time to time. I am told there are taxi companies to avoid as well. Usual common sense rules apply.</p>

<p>There are lots of students on scholarship at Tulane (including my Son) and they are very, very serious about their education and future. So, they dont mix drinking with studying at all. After all they dont want to waste $56K per year (8 months-2 semesters) because of the booze. More importantly, part of schooling is to build character and avoiding booze is one of them.</p>

<p>I agree with Vitrac. The novelty of the streetcar wears off when it is cold and raining and your student is in a hurry. Not advertising here, but United Cab is a reliable cab company that will allow you to open an account for your student if you think your student will be venturing off campus on a regular basis. There is a monthly fee of $10 to maintain the account. In addition to the Tulane students that we know with accounts, long standing NOLA businesses use United Cab which is a pretty good reference in my opinion.</p>

<p>Forgive me as I’ve told this story before: I was on the St Charles streetcar headed toward Tulane when the driver, without saying a word, stopped at the Hampton Inn stop, got out, went into the hotel and didn’t emerge for about 25 minutes. What the hell? A toilet break? Booty call? Coffee break? In that time, streetcars lined up behind us and waited. We, the passengers, in varying stages of frustration, chatted amongst ourselves. When the driver returned, she said nothing–just got in, started it up and continued down St Charles. I wasn’t on any schedule so it was just quirky NOLA behavior to me. But some people were heading to work and important appointments. When I told D1 and her friends what had happened, they weren’t surprised at all and D1 asserted again, “I told you I need a car!” I am not in any way implying that most students need a car. But I am saying that internships, regularly scheduled community service activities, jobs, etc. are difficult to maintain using the NOLA public transportation system. Sorry to hijack the alcohol thread, MaVitale!</p>

<p>I had to chuckle at your story Vitrac, even though I had heard it some time ago. It is very New Orleans, if a bit more extreme than usual. But it is true that public transportation in NOLA is, if not technically limited (the streetcar and bus system can get you most places), then practically limited because it can take forever if you have to make transfers. My D had a choice of two internships this coming semester, but one of them is in a section called mid-city that would take her well over an hour to get to each way, so it made the choice easier. By car it is probably no more than 15 minutes. Fortunately the one that was more accessible was also her preferred choice, so no harm done so to speak. But if it had been a more critical circumstance, she probably would have had to take her car down there, which she really does not want to do.</p>

<p>I don’t feel too bad about the diversion from the alcohol theme, it seems to have been well covered (with some great comments IMO) at this point.</p>