Recently, I considered trying to transfer. As a freshman, I had given it some thought as well, but my parents despised the idea. As a sophomore, I went ahead and filled out some transfer applications and was accepted into my dream school. It has the perfect location for me, it offers my major and is one of the best non-ivy league schools for it, most students have opportunities for internships due to its location and 78% with internships are offered a job with who they interned for right after graduation. It is out of state and my parents do not think I’m cut out for going out of state, which kind of sucks because I think I can do it and I think it’s best for me. The problem is the cost. It is more expensive than my current school, but I received a ton of aid. I would have to take out another student loan for about $2000-$6000 a year but I only have two years left. I feel as if I’d be much more happy at this school, considering I actually want to go. I think my parents should let me make my own decisions and allow me to be more independent. Even if this ends up being a mistake, at least it’d be my mistake. I’m tired of my parents sheltering me and treating me as if I’m a child. I’m an adult and I’d like to make this decision instead of having it made for me.
They never pushed my current school on my three older sisters and I have no idea why but I’d rather not stay there. How can I make my parents understand that? Am I right to want to transfer and be more independent? Yes, financial aid is important, but isn’t my happiness important as well? And getting a good education, not just the cheapest education?
Your parents, like all parents who tend to shelter their child, only want the best for you. You might then say “but only I know what’s best for me!”, or “what they want isn’t best for me!”
I think you should put aside your frustrations, and sit down with your parents. Your parents say you’re not cut out for out of state. Ask them why. Miscommunication is your enemy. Clearly state your reasoning behind why transferring is the best option for you, and of course, state why you’re not satisfied with your current school.
You need to be practical. Realistically, no parent is going to take on 4000-12000 total in loans unless there’s a reason beyond their child’s “happiness”.
Therefore, it is imperative that you explain to them why taking on these loans is worth it. While it’s great that you would like to make your own decisions, ultimately, whoever is paying the majority of those loans will have the last say in the matter.
Another thing: do not try to antagonize your parents during your sit down. As I stated above, they only want what’s best of you, and you can’t blame them for that.
I think that the decision should ultimately be up to you. You are an adult capable of making your own decisions. You aren’t just choosing a school that you think is “the best for you”, you already stated that the school offers opportunities that your current university doesn’t. However, I do agree that you should sit down and ask for the reasoning behind your parents’ reluctance. Honestly, I don’t think them thinking you aren’t “cut out” for out of state is a valid reason. Maybe THEY don’t want you to move out of state, but where you go to college is your decision. It would be ideal if they can support you, but that does not always happen. Parents aren’t always right.
Do you have a job? Those loans could easily be offset by a student job. If you really want to go, you need show you can be responsible for the extra costs. Try to do this without conflict first, but really think about how much you want to go to this college. If it’s worth fighting for then fight for it.
I am assuming the additional loan is on top of what they are contributing already. So if it ends up being a mistake, it is not just your mistake but it is their money. Have you also considered the cost of traveling back and forth to an OOS school.
I would suggest having a mature conversation with your parents. You bring up some good points about internships and job placement. Is the school truly better than where you are now and can you back that up? Try to avoid saying this “sucks” if you want them to treat you like an adult.
Ultimately however, if they are paying for part of your education, they do have a say in where they send you and their money. If you can do it totally independent of them, that is another story.
A 20 year old is an adult and capable of making their own decisions. But your parents are not required to finance those decisions.
Spot on @TomSrOfBoston ^^^^^
I say go to your dream school and take out loans.
^The OP needs their parents to continue to pay their part, too. Going to be honest. To me, you come across as immature. Your reasons for transferring seem more rebellious than anything else.
Do you/your parents already have loans to take care of after graduation? If so, maybe they’re trying to protect you from an additional 12k.