I'm having problems with my sorority

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I go to a small private school where all the social greek life are local groups. My sorority is the oldest on campus, but also the smallest and least popular. I'm a sophomore this year and I'm one of the most active members in my sorority. I decided to rush on a whim last year because I didn't have any friends and I was told this was a great way to meet people. I ended up only going to my sorority's formal rush (none of the other six groups wanted me) and ultimately got a bid from them. I was super excited. When I first met my sisters I really thought that I had found my place. Pledging was great--we have a lot of really cool traditions and the exchanges with the frats were super fun. After pledging, all of the sororities and fraternities pair up and have a week of parties, and it was to my displeasure to find out that my sorority did not have a party week. I could feel right away that we didn't really belong with the rest of Greek life. In fact, there was a sorority that formed a few years ago based on the fact that enough girls didn't want to be in my sorority but only got bids from us so they formed a new group that is already way more popular than us. </p>

<p>At first I could put our lack of social life past me, since the bonds of my sisters are more important than anything. But as time went on, I learned that they're really unmotivated and unwilling to do anything. I ended up being the chair for our large fundraiser and for rush as a new member, and working with my sisters is utter hell. I hate going to meetings because everyone is annoying--we don't get along because we're all basically just the group of leftover people who didn't get bids anywhere else. I'm trying so hard to recruit people into my sorority, but we have no presence on campus because we don't have many parties, and my sisters are fine with this. I'm betting that this current pledge class will be around 4 or 5 girls while the other sororities have 20-30 pledges. Sometimes I really just want to deactivate my sorority since it causes me so many problems and I've actually gotten sorority-based anxiety but at the same time I don't want to lose the few friendships I have and I feel as if I leave then the whole sorority will eventually fall apart since nobody takes any initiative to do anything. It's super frustrating doing all the hard work that comes with Greek Life but not being able to do any of the fun stuff that the other groups get to do. </p>

2

<p>This is unfortunately, a tale as old as time. Chapters often ebb and flow in cycles and one part of the cycle is this phase. Unfortunately, if you do want to turn it around, it will take a lot of work. First off, you’re probably not the only person in your org who feels this way - find those others and start working together to change things around. Rush will be critical, and if you get 4 or 5 girls who are interested in resurrecting the oldest group on campus then it doesn’t matter that you didn’t get 20-30. A small committed group will be better than a large uncommitted one anyway.</p>

<p>You can PM me if you want to talk about it more, you can also try soliciting advice on greekchat.com</p>

3

<p>I’m not Greek, but it seems like you have three choices.</p>

<p>-You can deactivate and separate from your sorority.
-You can go along with the status quo, and be unhappy.
-You can try to work to make your chapter a better/more social oriented place.</p>

<p>The first two are the least amount of work but don’t get to the goal you want. The last one is the hardest. Like I said, I’m not Greek, but other organizations function similarly as far as resurrecting a social life goes - most organizations are made up of a small leadership group who does most of the organizing and planning and ‘the rest’ who go along with the things and have a good time and maybe occasionally participate in the planning. You may have to take the initiative to plan the parties and stuff.</p>

<p>The first thing that you all may want to plan is some bonding activities! My sister-in-law is in a sorority and she always says that they can’t conduct outward sorority business (parties, recruitment) until their inward sorority business is tight. So plan some bonding activities with your sisters so that you can stop thinking of each other as leftovers and start thinking of each other as true sisters in a sorority. Perhaps pull back on the recruiting a bit and focus on that. Young women want to join sororities for the sisterhood aspect; they want to see that your sisters have bonds, and you’ll be far more successful if you all are close. So perhaps go to dinner together, have a sisterhood sleepover, maybe take a sisterhood retreat or plan a dance party in your sorority house or someone’s dorm room if you don’t have a house. Get to know one another and get close, and start enjoying yourself as sisters.</p>

<p>Once you all are closer, you’re far more likely to present as a cohesive sisterhood to PNMs. I get the sense that sorority recruitment is an ongoing process, not just during Rush. You have to represent yourself as a fun-loving group of young women, and give your chapter its own personality. Even if you aren’t ready to throw parties quite yet, wear sorority paraphernalia when you go to events and go as a group! People are watching and people looking to go Greek are always checking for that kind of stuff. I don’t know how large your chapter is, but I can guess that at least 10-15% of your chapter is also unhappy with the way the sorority business is going. You don’t need very many people to plan a party - you can plan a good party with just 3 or 4 people running everything. (I mean, weddings are planned with 2 people.) So grab some of your sisters who really DO want to party and start planning one! Grab other sisters as they get interested, or have other people just do one or two things.</p>

<p>As rush chair you may also have to take 5 minutes during your chapter meetings to explain how the lack of social activities will impact rush. You can’t recruit if you’re not getting your name known out there, and if you’re known as the boring sorority who never does anything. Most outsiders (including myself) don’t understand how special and moving the sisterhood in a sorority is; they want to join because of what they see on the outside - groups of girls doing fun stuff together. They’re not going to understand that there’s a rich secret side aside from that, so you have to appeal to that. Ask them if they want their beloved oldest chapter on campus to fall apart because of lack of motivation. Ask them if when they return for reunion 10 or 25 years from now whether they want a chapter to reunion with and reminisce about old times and share traditions with.</p>

<p>As the rush chair you have control over the way that the sorority will present itself to PNMs, so have a blast trying to plan a really well put-together rush schedule to try to attract great girls. Since you’re all local sororities the freshmen won’t necessarily come in with preconceived notions about the chapters.</p>

<p>Also my friends in sororities have told me that it’s totally normal and natural to not like everyone in your chapter. There’s always going to be that one sister you can’t stand or don’t get along with.</p>