I’ve been a freshman in college for about 2 months now and I still haven’t found a close group of friends yet. I have many acquantainces and “friends” from some of the clubs I’m in, but none that I really connect with on interests like anime, longboarding, and movies who want to hangout. It just feels weird and lonely seeing people around me make best friends who regularly hangout and make plans for housing next year (housing contracts begin in a month) and I’m still trying to find my “group of close friends”. How long did it take to find your “close group of friends”?
Please take a few minutes to scroll through four or five pages of this forum. There a new posts like your almost daily. You will see that this is sooooo common. Take comfort from knowing you are not alone. Many of those threads also have a lot of great advice. It sounds like you are doing the right things. Keep it up, and soon, maybe in a few more weeks, you will find yourself clicking more with people. It takes time to form friendships. Many of these groups you are seeing are going to shift and change a lot in the next few months. Be patient, it will happen.
I’m going through the same thing. It’s really hard since I’m a little older than everybody else and a commuter student.
I’m just having trouble feeling at home with anyone. I go to one of those technical schools where everyone’s a bit awkward and its making me consider transfering schools.
Then find out where you can get in as a transfer. I think that is a good idea. Not necessarily to definitely transfer, but to give yourself an option. Lots of people transfer, don’t feel like a failure if you decide that it’s right for you. Giving yourself an option is an escape clause. You have it if you need it.
I’m second year and just this year made my first really close college friend. He also happens to be my roommate. We are super close, almost like brothers. We hit it off right away and got close the first week. We share a one bedroom apartment of campus and have bunk beds. It’s hard to cry in a bunk bed and not be heard by the person above or below you. One particular night, we were both laying bed stressed, overwhelmed, homesick. We heard each other crying and asked the obvious question, “Are you crying? What’s wrong?” That lead to a marathon 2 and half hour crying and talking session. When you share that kind of emotional honesty, you can’t help but get close. We are now each other’s best friend, confidant, and crying shoulder. It’s awesome!!
Try starting a longboarding group or other group related to your interests.
When I was in school, decades ago now, I joined clubs and went to lectures and performances on campus, and even tried enjoying the once-a-week Ratskellar event. Some of that was fine, but some it is was simply outside of my interest level and/or comfort zone.
When a student group decided to put on a play, I went to the audition to see if that would help to fill up some the empty, lonely space. I walked into one of the buildings and heard someone at the other end of the long hall singing a song that I loved and which was thought to be “culturally” outside of what I might be drawn to. To the voice singing, I responded with the next few lines, then the voice responded to me, and this continued until we could see each other. We ran to each other and embraced, and fell down into one another laughing. Besties after that.
It was a strange moment, and a strange thing to do, and I leaned into my loneliness and my … uniqueness… and went with it. Turns out, the other girl did, too.
Have you placed yourself in the places where you might be able to “show” who YOU are? There may be someone waiting for you.