<p>I'm a freshman and I've been at college for a little over two weeks and I've never been more miserable in my life. My school is pretty big it has like 20,000 undergrad and it's certainly eclectic but I haven't met anyone like me. I've gone to club meetings, talked to people in my classes, met everyone in my hall, and hung out with them. invited someone to dinner last weekend, etc. So it's not that I haven't tried it's that all the people I've met I haven't connected to. People always tell me to talk to everyone, do activities, be open minded and I've been doing that and it hasn't worked out. I knew coming in here that it'd be hard to find people like me in my age group since I'm mature, I hate social media, I'm eccentric, I can't do small talk, I can't stand trivial conversations, etc. I like people who are really deep, like talking about controversial topics, aren't into social media, don't conform, are eccentric, mature, etc. I know that it's much easier finding superficial people than the people I'm looking for but I thought I'd find at least one person who I have the potential to click with and I haven't. I've never felt so hopeless and lost. I want to get away from the meaningless chatter. There are girls I hang out with who keep me included in everything they do but they are not what I'm looking for. I just have no one else. I don't know what else I can do because I've already done everything I can to find people I like and it hasn't worked. Like are they just going to appear? How on earth am i going to find the people I'm looking for if I haven't found them anywhere? I feel sick and scared. The thing I want most out of life are meaningful, deep relationships. Everything else seems pointless with out them. I know you can't become super close to someone in two weeks but I haven't even met someone who I feel like I have the potential to become super close with. Everyone is the same. No one is like me. I feel like I'm never going to find my place and that there's nothing left for me anymore. I see a counselor but talking to him won't make what I want appear. I just feel terrible all the time. I try to be positive and tell myself it takes time but I'm going to be going to the same places everyday and at those places I've found no one. I don't know how to be optimistic anymore. Let me clear some things up before anyone responds. Yes I have to enjoy some trivial things in life and I do, but I don't want that to be everything, that's all that I mean. Don't take anything I say as pretentious. I'm not trying to come off that way and I never do in real life but I'm just stating my feelings here. I know I can't have an instant group of friends and I know that forming deep relationships takes time, the reason I'm upset is I haven't met a single person who I have the potential to become close with. I know that conversation starts with small talk and shallow conversation and that's fine but what I want is to be friends with people who eventually get into deep conversations and have more deep conversations than shallow conversations. But the people I've met only have shallow conversations and shy away from deep conversations and that's what's upsetting. I'm not trying to find my match, my best friend back home wasn't my match but she wasn't superficial and she was mature and we just connected. That's all I'm looking for. I'm just getting to the point of things so if you take it the wrong way then don't respond. I'm looking to be helped not lectured. </p>
<p>Stomping your feet and running off to a new thread isn’t going to change the answers you’re getting.</p>
<p>You’re only looking for people who are “really deep, like talking about controversial topics, aren’t into social media, don’t conform, are eccentric, mature, etc.” You say you realize that deep relationships don’t form in a day, but that seems to be your only friendship criteria. Yes, most of the people you know are still basically strangers, or just starting to become friends. You’re not going to feel comfortable talking about your feelings with strangers, and people tend to avoid deep, controversial topics with people they don’t know.</p>
<p>It sounds like you’re ruling out anyone who’s not willing to jump right into deep conversations with you. Quite frankly, when you don’t know the people you’re talking with, it’s going to be small talk and a little bit shallow and trivial. That’s just the way things are. I would say choose different factors - don’t consider deep-ness or “mature” in your friendship hunt. Pick other qualities, maybe activities you like to do, a favorite game, whatever. I promise you’re not the only deep, mature person in your school. Chances are most of your neighbors are the same as you, it’s just not showing yet because they’re just as scared, trying to make friends, hanging out with whoever’s around, etc. Welcome to being a freshman, everyone scrambles around looking for new buddies at the start of the year, everyone’s afraid of ending up alone.</p>
<p>Once you get to know people, those deeper connections will open up. You know, you’ll actually be good friends, instead of just “friends”. And then it’s more natural to talk about your feelings with them, or have real conversations, or act a little more mature (college is the first time away from home for a lot of students, lots of freedom, a bit of crazy). Quite frankly, if I had known you for a week and you started off a conversation with “so how do you feel about religion?” I would probably shy away from the topic and think it was a little weird. If I actually knew you, I would be happy talking about whatever, it would be normal.</p>
<p>My advice would be to keep working at it. For now, be nice to those girls that want to be friends with you, include them, they’re clearly willing to friends with you. And keep looking for those magical “people like me”, maybe you’ll find someone you click with better, maybe not, but don’t rule people out when you’ve only just met. Clubs are a great starting point, since you’ll have something in common. Maybe find a debate team or something where harder topics are encouraged. In the mean-time, accept that social media is a thing for a little bit, keep in touch with your old friends, skype or facebook, whatever. Sure, it’s not the same as having close connections at your school, but it might help fill that void while you work on building new friendships.</p>
<p>It gets better… keep an open mind, and give it some time. :)</p>
<p>And don’t forget just because people seem like they like things you deem “Shallow and trivial” DOES NOT mean that they lack the capacity to form deep friendships and have intellectual conversations. If someone says they like Twitter or reality TV, don’t automatically rule them out as potential friends. I love watching stupid TV sometimes but that doesn’t make me a stupid person. Give other people a chance, and you’ll see different results. Don’t worry, everyone else is just as new to the game as you are. Like failure622 said, keep an open mind! Good luck!</p>