I'm not crazy!

Applying to College
1

<p>I don't know where to post this thread. I want to know if many seniors are in the same boat with me. I want to make sure I'm not crazy.</p>

<p>Since my senior year started, I have been waiting for something to happen. It's like waiting for the firecracker to explode, but there's nobody to light it. When something comes, I don't get satisfied and look for the next thing. First college decisions, then spring break, then AP exams, then graduation, then college, then graduate school, then a job, then marriage, then children, then retirement, and then death. Where does it end? I feel that there's no time for me to say "I'm happy today. I don't want to wait for tomorrow." I keep waiting for something. </p>

<p>I'm confused about EVERYTHING: who I am, what my personality is, what major I want to pursue, what career I want, what I want to do with my life, what I'm feeling right now. I am so confused. I just don't know what I'm feeling at this instant second. Sometimes I feel really happy. Other times I feel miserable. I feel that life is meaningless. I question its purpose. I get paranoid and think that I don't belong anywhere and that nobody likes me. All these mixed emotions happen all the times in a single day. It's driving me crazy! I keep asking myself "Am I happy or not? What am I feeling right now? I don't know." What's going on?</p>

<p>I notice that my personality changed this year. I was a hardworking person with integrity. I followed rules; I never broke a law or got into trouble. I always looked for positive things, no matter how bad the situation was. This year, I became apathetic with schoolwork and education. I enjoy breaking the rules and don't care about the consequences. I get in "bad mood" more often. I was never grumpy in front of people until now. </p>

<p>Is it normal for a senior to feel this way, especially when he is finishing high school and waiting to hear college decisions? Is it stress and anxiety? Do you feel same way?</p>

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<p>You sound like the type of person who will try to "find" himself or herself during college years.</p>

<p>For now, think and reflect.</p>

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<p>Yep. All my siblings found themselves in college. It'll be a long and difficult process according to what they've told me.</p>

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<p>dude, hairypotty- we are so on the same wavelength</p>

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<p>You sir, are an existentiallist.</p>

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<p>who doesn't feel that way? i know what you mean by "what's next?" it's like you wait for something, then you just reach for the next thing to wait for. but it you think about it, it's really rather silly. </p>

<p>lol at least you don't have catholic guilt on top of all that. </p>

<p>life sucks...i don't know what i'll do if my illusion that college will make it all better gets shattered.</p>

<p>but yeah, we're all going through the same thing (or the normal ones of us are), and we'll pull through.</p>

<p>you too. :)</p>

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<p>Haha, I feel exactly the same way. Odd thing is, I wasn't really confused in high school. I knew exactly what I wanted to do in life, and how to get there (I thought). Now that I'm actually in college, it seems like the more options I have, the more confused I get! That's the great thing about college, though...it really does give you the opportunity to do pretty much anything. I'm a lot less certain about what I want to do in life than when I came in! :eek: :)</p>

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<p>...somebody needs a nap</p>

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<p>filmxoxo17: Why do you say that? I'm an existentialist (mostly), and I'm not having these issues right now.</p>