I'm not happy at college

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Hello everyone,</p>

<p>I'm sure there's a million threads like this, but this is my version of the common problem of not being happy at college.</p>

<p>First a little about me. I am a nineteen year old male freshman at Cal State Northridge. I live in the on-campus apartments and have 3 roommates.</p>

<p>I'm just not happy in college. I'm a very quiet person and have never been very good at making friends. In high school I only had a small handful of friends, and even though we were friends, we rarely hung out or did anything together. I spent most of my senior year weekends at UCSB hanging out with my older sister and her friends (who are all out of college now). </p>

<p>Then I came to CSUN fall 2013. At first everything seemed like it would be alright. The first night my roommates (who I just met that day) went to a party and it was fun. But a few days in, I realized I had nothing in common with my roommates. They'd go hang out with friends they went to highschool with who also went to CSUN. None of my highschool friends went to college.</p>

<p>I started feeling really lonely until rush week, when I figured joining a fraternity would be a good way to make friends. I really wanted to get into a particular one because I had met them and that first party, got along with almost all of them, and had a friend who was already in it. I was really excited. When I didn't get a bid to join, because one brother voted against me, I was really depressed for the next few weeks. </p>

<p>I spent most of the rest of the semester coming home on weekends (I live fairly close to campus). I'd eat in the dining hall by myself almost everynight. </p>

<p>Now winter break is over and I moved back to my apartment today. Spring semester starts tomorrow. While my roommates are all out with their friends, I'm lying on my bed typing this and watching Pawn Stars. </p>

<p>For whatever reason I'm a really quiet person and people don't like me. I've never had many friends and at this point in the year I feel like everyone already has their new group of friends but me. My roommates are talking about rooming together next year but haven't invited me (we get along, just don't have a lot in common). Now I'm faced with either commuting next semester (which wont make me friends) or rooming with strangers which seems weird as a sophomore. </p>

<p>Plus my roommates are always talking about getting girls and getting laid. I'm even worse at getting girls than I am at making friends. I'm 19 years old, have had one girlfriend for 2 weeks in eight grade, and have never even kissed a girl, let alone have sex. How do I deal with that?</p>

<p>Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading. I just had to tell someone all this. Any replies, comments, questions, answers, concerns, advice, etc welcome. Thanks.</p>

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<p>Wish I could help more - but rooming with a stranger isn’t always bad sophomore year. I went random <em>junior</em> year and the girl and I clicked SO well and we’re still really great friends.</p>

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<p>Well I go to a community college but I hope my advice/comments help. I start tomorrow too & I’m not too excited ether haha.</p>

<p>So what you & your roommates aren’t friends. Maybe they just weren’t right for you. Some don’t click as friends but get along well with to live. </p>

<p>I don’t think people dislike you for being quiet, they don’t even know you. But if you’re always quiet and never initiate contact they might think you’re stuck up or don’t like them.</p>

<p>And for the friends in high school thing, I wouldn’t worry caz most of my friends I never hung out with outside of school. The few that I did I’ve known since middle school or I had to ask them to hang out.</p>

<p>Its ok to have never kissed. I’m sure that can be easily changed at a party but if you’re not ready for sex don’t rush it just caz ur friends are doing it. I personality wouldn’t go around whining or telling people you have little or no experience. It tends to make things awkward caz they always wana ask ’ Oh really Why??’ </p>

<p>Maybe try to find people that are similar to you and share common interests. I’m sure there are other clubs & organizations besides fraternities.</p>

<p>You have to be strong and confident in yourself. Good Luck & GOD BLESS ツ</p>

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<p>We go to the same school. Weird! Lol anyway, yeah it’s hard to make friends here because it’s a commuter school. Most people go to class and go home.</p>

<p>Try to find something you and your roommates have in common. </p>

<p>Also, there are a lot of school events out here, why don’t you try to attend one? I think tomorrow or Thursday there’s a CSUNS confession thing going on by the lawn (can’t remember which one I think it’s the one across from the library), maybe you’ll meet some cool people there. :)</p>

<p>I understand your concern about having different roommate next year, I might have 2/3 of the same roommates but the one living in my room isn’t going to dorm next year so I’ll have a total stranger living with me. </p>

<p>Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk</p>

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<p>You sir, sound exactly like I was before I left the university I was at. I had basically the same story in high school and I had 3 roommates, had nothing in common with them, they all had girlfriends, I didn’t have any friends. It started out strong and I thought I would love it, but as time went by I just started hating it more and more. I finally decided that the school just wasn’t for me (after 1.5 years) and am currently taking a semester break with classes at community college and looking at transfer options. HOWEVER, my advice to you would be to stick it out and stay at the school, if it is affordable and you like your major. I would’ve done that, but the school I was at was just waaaaaaaaaaaay too expensive for me to stay there and not be happy. Then again, remember that you only get one shot at college and now is the time to make the most out of it. I would see how this semester goes for you first though.</p>

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<p>I think a lot more people are acquaintances as room mates. A lot! My one friend has a roomie she can’t tolerate, another a friend but they won’t
room together next year, and another who barely talks to her room mate. Others get along okay, some get on each others nerves etc. I think you need to adjust your focus and do what is best for you. Get out of your comfort zone. Try to find some interesting clubs and consider the fraternity again. I have several friends who didn’t get in last fall but will try again this spring. And remember its the the number of friends but the quality of your friends. Observe, and you will see other people in the same situation as you. Sitting alone, unengaged. They may need a friend too. Life is full of goals, and this can be yours to try. And promise not to care if it doesn’t work out. Their loss. You know you are a great person, give others the chance to see. You will see more and more of the people in your major, so may try to meet a few in that area as you already have one thing in common.</p>

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<p>hey i go to cal state northridge too im dorming too in building 11, but cheer up bro life is to short to be down. i know college is hard but just focus getting your degree cause in the end no one cares how many girls you hooked up with or how many friends u have, its having that degree is what matters. I want u to go to pbnation.com and sign up for the forum, look up cal state northridge paintball…im actually trying to start an official paintball team to compete in the NCPA (national collegiate paintball association). look for me my screen name is moto82e, add me and i"ll add u to our conversation that some the guys have started…dont worry about not having gear, we"ll hook up( one matador to another)…maybe we can all met up…hit me up man…if u need some advice feel free to hit me up im 26 yers old and gone through alot </p>

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<p>^this is what you need, someone starting a cool group who wants you in, at least check this out. And the girl who said the year she had an unknown roommate she ended up being friends with, good idea, just imagine a roommate you don’t know next year is probably in the same boat as you, someone who had different interests than their freshman year roommates and could become a good friend. Or a transfer student looking to make new friends. </p>