<p>I signed up to the site just to post this. I'm hoping I could get some objective input from you.</p>
<p>After graduating valedictorian (I'm including this bit so you could have an idea of the kind of parental pressure exerted on me), I majored in Bio + Premed at a private school. They gave me a great financial aid package, and I would have done fine and graduated in 3 years if I had picked something that I was interested in. But being the spineless idiot I was, I wasted the first 3 years flunking and repeating these Bio/Pre-med classes. </p>
<p>Spring 2010: I had my first nervous breakdown. My parents saw that Premed wasn't a good idea so they suggested I transfered to another school to be an x-ray tech. I'm going through my 1st clinical rotations right now and having a hell of a time dragging myself up each day to go. I just know that I don't want to work in a hospital. Even if I endure and get my BS, I'd still run from a hospital the second I get it.</p>
<p>So I'm considering switching to something totally useless (but apparently all my pre-reqs could be counted and finished within next spring, my intended graduation year) called bachelor degree in Multidisciplinary studies. Just so I could have a bachelor. This news gave my parents a heart attack.</p>
<p>I'm really fighting the urge to kill myself. I know I'm not very stupid and lazy. It's just that I really can't work in a hospital. The stress just shut my brain down.</p>
<p>I know I'm good at writing, but I know that I need to get a job to sustain myself. </p>
<p>Right now I'm working part time 10hr/week at a library. I like working there (partly why I want to finish my degree so I can move up the chain and have a decent job) but the higher positions don't come by that often. So I can't put all my eggs in one basket.</p>
<p>I guess when my parents recover, they'd push me toward pharmacy school. But even if that happens I swear that I'd first get a job as a pharm tech to see what it's like, so not to repeat my mistakes again.</p>
<p>Sorry for the long post, but I desperately need advice. Every single day I kick myself for being a stupid worthless piece of garbage, wasting all that time and money and leaving such a good school that people were dying to get into (ok maybe not dying, but they did give me a lot of scholarship).</p>
<p>I hate the smell of hospital and everything about it. I really admire doctors, but the thought of having to deal with sick people and possible death regularly would really depress me. I am trying to say that I think you are perfectly normal to feel that way (because I do). I think it’s normal for you to try to find something you would like to do also. </p>
<p>On a light note…My husband fainted when we went to get a blood test for our marriage license. Our 2 very smart daughters would never go into medicine - maybe they take after their dad.</p>
<p>The choice is not between working in a hospital and killing yourself. Please re-read that section of your post. You have to see that that is NOT the issue.</p>
<p>Deep breath. Or 200 or 300. </p>
<p>So you had a couple of false starts. This seems huge right now. I get that. </p>
<p>NOW: you need to step back, find someone professional you can talk to about this, cut yourself some slack, determine if your despair is entirely situational or not, come up with a plan for next steps.</p>
<p>Do your parents relize your predicament? Is there someone who can help you with them so that pressure is lessened for the time being?</p>
<p>Come back here and touch base. People will worry.</p>
<p>Stop kicking yourself and find your spine. Perhaps finish the degree and go look for a job in a medical libray. Or look for a job in the communications group at a hospital. I had a nurse friend who did that, hated nursing but mom was a nurse, sister was a nurse. She went to work and put herself through college to get an MA in English and went to work in a hospital communications group…this is just one example and one path. Use that brain that you have and figure out how to make it work.</p>
<p>Hey, it’s your life so figure out what you actually would like to do, take a myers-briggs test - if you answer honestly and not what you think your parents would like to hear, you might get some insight into what you do like. Take a breath and figure out how to get pointed in a good direction. Stand up and say, well no, I don’t want to be a pharmacist either. Maybe your parents will freak but listen, all their pushing (I am going on a limb here) is because they actually love you and want you to be successful…not out of the pleasure of seeing you miserable. Maybe you are more a humanities kind of guy, maybe academia suits you?</p>
<p>If you get a Bachelor’s degree in Multidisciplinary Studies, you will likely be disqualified for financial aid at any school for another bachelor’s. At the same time, you need to check your college’s catalog to see how many credits you have left before your financial aid runs out. </p>
<p>So figure out what your parameters are, then try to figure out what you may want to do. There may be a counseling center at the school or a career center that could help you. </p>
<p>As far as xray, please be aware that it’s possible to work at a freestanding clinic as an xray tech. Also, it’s possible to become an xray tech then specialize in mri, ct, radiation therapy or ultrasound. Some of these might involve further schooling but they don’t all involve going into a hospital. I say this not to convince you to become an xray tech but to make sure you understand that there may be something you like in there. And if there’s not… just move ON!</p>
<p>mafool offered you excellent advice, and I would just add that there is NOTHING wrong with taking some time off of school to just work and live and see what it is that you want to do. It sounds like intuitively you know what you don’t want to do; sometimes it takes time off the treadmill and freedom away from the constraints of classes, teachers and parents to figure out what you do want to do. Writing is wonderful, but you won’t make a living at it most likely, so do something for the short term and write on the side and if you change your mind about that degree you can always go back and get it. Things will get better! This is just temporary and when you look back later, it won’t seem as big of a deal as it does now. Life has a way of working out!</p>
<p>Please, please, please don’t do anything drastic. Sometimes the trees are looming in on us and we don’t see the forest . . . or the sky . . . or the ocean . . . or the gazillion of happy, good times available on this wonderful earth. </p>
<p>Your parents (probably) have pushed you toward a direction where they hoped you would have a good paying job, be respected in society and have some job security. These were not bad things for them to want for you. That said, they had tunnel vision and are not aware of how many other ways there are to have those good things. </p>
<p>Now is a great time to take a break. Would you have fun working as a librarian? Ever read Cryptonomicron by Neal Stephenson? In it, his hero works several years as the gopher kid who fetches and shelves material for a college reference library. The kid reads everything that comes across his desk – and then uses all the stuff in his head for some subsequent amazing adventures. </p>
<p>So, here’s a few paths to consider: reference librarian (yeah, not that many positions, but you only need one). Legislative Assistant/Congressional aide (work like crazy but very interesting – and that valedictorian status would make you desirable). Nonprofit work (whatever it is you believe in). Any interest in other sciences, such as oceanography or meteorology? (which could put your science background to work). Geology? </p>
<p>Please stop “kicking yourself” over the scholarship stuff. Your life is just beginning. There is no doubt that you DID learn a great deal during the past few years – it just is a different learning than you expected. </p>
<p>You might read “Toxic PArents” by Susan Forward – she’s good about helping people find ways to set boundaries with family members. </p>
<p>There is an outfit in my state called Wizards of the Coast. The founders have made a career out of a card game called Magic, The Gathering. The developers spend their days thinking of new monsters. No kidding. And they make oodles of dollars doing it. There are lots of ways to be in the world. Please quit beating yourself up for not being an AFLAC duck when you are really a very cool puffin or terrifically hip flamingo.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone. I promise I won’t do anything stupid.</p>
<p>Tomorrow I’m meeting with the college counselor to discuss my options. </p>
<p>QUESTION for parents: How did you arrive at the job/careeer you have today?</p>
<p>Your perspective helps me a lot. None of my close friends know what they want to do other than grad school. But I’ve learned to be wary of jumping into the next hurdle without thinking it out first.</p>
<p>I do love my parents. There’s a reason for their being like this. My dad got 2 associate degrees in comp sci/comp something (what he loved), not IT, but there’s no market for that. They think that I should hang on to anything health care by the teeth because of the great job security, so I don’t end up as a blue collar worker like them. We’re all really really scared.</p>
<p>2collegewego: I did tour the mri, ct departments and know that techs don’t only work in hospital. I don’t see myself making it beyond this semester though. Somehow the cumulative stress have damaged to my brain. These days it’s hard to focus and often I’d just sit there for 10 min trying to remember what to do next.</p>
<p>ricegod, I’d have to say that pretty much everybody knocks around for a few years in their life sooner or later. Those few years seem like a lot at your age, but in the bigger picture they’re really just life experience like any other. I spent nine long years in grad school, worked for 18 months, and then quit my job and stayed home with my kids for the next eight years. During that time I started writing kids books and landed a three-book deal with Simon & Schuster, and about the same time the first one came out I got a job teaching chemistry at a major state university. My chemistry friends can’t believe I have published children’s books and my writer friends are shocked to hear I have a PhD in chemistry. Life hasn’t taken me where I originally intended, but none of those years were wasted.</p>
<p>My advice to to do what you want to do and don’t worry about the “lost” years. They’re not lost, they’re invested.</p>
<p>First, as others have said, take a deep breath. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are far from alone in the situation you find yourself in at the moment.</p>
<p>I have worked in Honors Programs/Colleges at several public universities that are math/science/engineering oriented. Every year I meet with large groups of freshmen and I ask them how many, because they are good at math and science, have been told they should be a doctor or an engineer. Practically every hand in the room goes up. Then I ask how many want to be a doctor or an engineer . . . many hands stay up. Fast forward a year or so, many of those same students have switched majors and career goals. Why? For some it was because they had a hard time with the pre-req courses. But for many more it was because they realized they really didn’t WANT to be a doctor or an engineer. They chose those fields to please others.</p>
<p>As I tell my students, you need to find a major and later a career that makes YOU happy. YOU are the person who has to get up every day and go to work - not your parents, not your teachers - so you better find something that interests YOU. There is nothing worse than going to a job you don’t like. </p>
<p>I have had more than a few students who didn’t figure this out until they graduated. You’re ahead of them. You have time to figure out what you want to do and how you’re going to get there. You may need to take some time off from school to do this - there’s no shame in that.</p>
<p>From what you’ve written, it sounds like anything in the medical field is not a good match for you. Ok. Cross medical careers (doctor, nurse, x-ray tech, and so on) off your list. </p>
<p>Now you have to think about what you do enjoy? You said you’re going to your school’s career center. Excellent! They can help you work through the possibilities. (I’m guessing you’re so upset at this point that NOTHING sounds good to you. They’ll help you see the forest for the trees.)</p>
<p>And remember that many people (including me) have more than one career during their life. Life is full of opportunities and twists in the road. Stay open to all opportunities. You’ll have an interesting life.</p>
<p>You are young and just because your folks stayed in one path doesn’t mean that is how society is. Traditionally yrs ago people joined one company and worked there for decades, now the avg turn over rate is 5 yrs.</p>
<p>Don’t go into a career field just for safety. Go because you enjoy it. Your father did exactly that.</p>
<p>You are not the 1st kid and won’t be the last to do great in hs, but crap out in college. IMPO this occurs because they don’t like their major. They are lazy because they dread doing the work since they don’t like it.</p>
<p>Bullet was like you, and now as a parent he recognizes the reason he was on the 5 yr program when it should have been 4 was because of his folks…GO ENGINEERING IT’S A GREAT FIELD. He hated it and went through the motions for them. He loved business and architecture. </p>
<p>You are not a 17 yo anymore, you are 21-22, if you want your parents to respect and support you, than be honest to yourself and them. Tell them that is their dream, not yours. </p>
<p>
You have already said what motivates you, follow it. Take some time to see what career paths exist here, use a broad spectrum approach. What exactly do you like about working there? Is it from a research standpoint? Is it from the fact that you enjoy books? Is it the atmosphere? All of those questions can lead you to your real path.</p>
<p>Research? Maybe you want to go law
Enjoy books? Maybe you should lean towards publishing
Atmosphere? Maybe you are a people person, and education is your field.</p>
<p>When I was in college in the 70’s, I knew kids that discovered that they weren’t crazy about their majors but continued their career paths for various reasons, mostly financial. Now, it seems more students realize more fully what they are getting involved in and are willing to investigate other opportunities. This is a good thing.</p>
<p>Last week a friend of mine had vision problems and all she could talk about was the MRI (technologist?) who tried to put her at ease as she slipped head-first into the machine. We baby boomers are going to need lots of care and I see where your parents are coming from with the job security thing. If you were my kid and you were close to finishing, I would try to get you to finish but if you feel like you are too stressed, please see a counselor, not just a college counselor. (full disclosure, my NMF daughter is similiar; good grades + no career plan and needed a counselor for a few sessions) Most student health centers have them. </p>
<p>It must have been very difficult for you to go from being valdict to not doing well in bio. Hang in there and whatever you do, find something to help reduce your stress…yoga, exercise group, weekly meeting with like-minded friends. Chauf</p>
<p>My first thought after reading your original post was: What do YOU want to do?</p>
<p>Having a science background does NOT mean you have to be a doctor.</p>
<p>You’re a good writer? How about being a science writer, getting into healthcare public relations, getting an MBA and working as a product manager for a pharmaceutical company. Healthcare is a great field now and there are a lot of opportunities OUTSIDE med school! Just suggesting these because having the pre-med/bio background could be useful in other ways.</p>
<p>My dad always told me to do something I like at work- then you will be willing to work hard enough to do well at it (and make money). Good advice. As you said, you would run from the workplace in a job you didn’t want.</p>
<p>I’m speaking from experience, but really 180 degrees from where you are. I will share this, since you asked how we got our first job. I also want to share where it’s taken me.</p>
<p>I also went to a great school (top 20) -had no idea what I wanted to do (thanks, mom and dad for allowing me this opportunity) - but I always liked writing (never science!!!). I got my first job after college in public relations (through someone I knew) - that was in sports public relations (not as much fun as it sounds). Fast forward and I find myself doing healthcare public relations and how have my own business focusing on healthcare PR. I write about medical topics, attend research symposia, do work for voluntary health organizations and pharma companies. I’m rarely in a hospital and when I am, it’s for a shoot with a tv station. Work’s been very steady (except 2008-2009, like everyone else) - and it’s been more than 17 years.</p>
<p>Do some career exploration. Have a heart to heart with you parents. All parents want their kids to be happy. If you were valedictorian, then you have it in you to work hard. And where you start at 22 or 25, is not necessarily where you will be at 35 or 45 at 55. There is no one single route that takes you to success in life. </p>
<p>I’ve sent my transcripts to the counselor who’s responsible for MDS degree but haven’t gotten a response yet. Hopefully it will come through soon so I can take a leave of absence with the x-ray program (don’t want to burn my bridges)</p>
<p>I’ve sent my resume for an internship @ a local PR firm (should have sent to more places but they’re the only one who doesn’t care what my major is). I feel like this could be the start of something big, if I get in. (cross fingers)</p>
<p>Pray for me everyone, and advice on the technical writing field is much appreciated too.</p>
<p>OP, I’m sorry your having such conflicts. You remind me of my S. But, I am not pushing him to be someone he’s not. He’s bright and a good writer but hates math. He may study rhetoric. My H teaches MDS. PM me if you want more info.</p>
<p>Ricegod - where are your parents from? Why is medicine so important to them? They should realize that although there is job security, physician income is decreasing every year, NOT increasing. Most of us will end up working for an insurance company or the government. When you calculate the cost of undergrad and medical school plus years as an underpaid resident and the possibility that your’ll be in primary care where the pay is relatively low AND compare that to being in the market place working at a job for 10 years and moving up the food chain - you really have to wonder about medicine as a career. It is NOT for everyone and NOT for people who do not have a burning desire to be a physician, otherwise its not worth the work. the purpose of an undedrgraduate education is precisely to discover what you are interested in, what you are passionate about. It is NOT a trade school. I have had several false starts in my career but ultimately found my way. Don’t despair - explore and seek counsel.</p>
<p>Perfectly normal to have the equivalent of a mid-life crisis in college realizing that employment or grad school is looming in the horizon.</p>
<p>If you can figure out with a career counselor’s advice how you can secure your BA and simultaneously select classes that would really interest you (and perhaps take one P/F so no pressure) that is your best option. With so much vested time, if you can handle finishing the degree do so.</p>
<p>You do not at age 22 +/- have to select a career! People change careers multiple times and many people hang until mid 30s deciding on a career choice. Your happiness and sanity take precedence.
Since your parents don’t have much vested financial loss here (given your scholarship) do your best to assure them you will figure it all out and they need to give you the space to live your life. If they want to work in the medical field, they should return to school and do so.</p>
<p>As a long shot- if you enjoy writing and you have a semi-tech background, why not explore “technical writing” at various magazines, think tanks or even a brokerage house on wall street? Did you know that physicians and physicists take jobs as security analysts! They get to analyze and write briefs for the financial guys who cannot interpret this stuff without their assistance.</p>
<p>I just wanted to add to some of the other excellent posts about those of us who meandered through our 20s before we found the right fit for a career.</p>
<p>On a related note I know someone who also realized she absolutely couldn’t be a doctor, in her case it wasn’t until her second year of medical school. I know someone else who got through law school only to find out that she absolutely hated being a lawyer. Both of these were cases of high achieving students who expected a lot from themselves. I can’t help but think they chose medical school and law school because it seemed like what they should be doing. It wasn’t until the issue was forced on them that they ever asked themselves what they really wanted to do.</p>
<p>It takes some of us a while to find ourselves. I don’t regret any of the twists and turns that were a part of my 20s. They ultimately led me to a career that was right for me.</p>
<p>If you REALLY like working in the library, you could consider getting a master’s degree in library science. It qualifies you for career-track positions in libraries and doesn’t require any specific undergraduate major.</p>