I'm screwed. Need grownup's perspective

Parents Forum
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<p>I was hard at work at a biology degree with the intent to be a med tech (lab worker) because “that’s where the jobs are for biologists” (told to me by many counselors). My mother was paging through the college catalog and said “Why aren’t you in ornithology? That sounds so much more like you!” (Ornithology was in a separate building in the Fish and Wildlife department instead of the Biology department). </p>

<p>I took the birding class and never looked back. I love wildlife science. I love the out of doors. I worked a year after college at minimum wage before getting hired at a miniscule wage for a state agency. It was just fine. Thirty years later I still shop at Goodwill – but I’ve had some amazing experiences and don’t regret my choices.</p>

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<p>WARNING: Self-pity rant</p>

<p>I think I’m just deluding myself. I’m up against these Comm and Journalism majors for a limited number of spots. The “technical writing” jobs I’ve looked at only want Comm and Journalism majors. So even if I graduate with this worthless degree I’m still on the same footing with somebody who has a HS diploma. Which means I probably have to go to grad school and since I’m so stupid I can’t do anything in the health professions or engineering I probably will flunk as well.</p>

<p>My mind is stuck on rewind because it can’t see the future ahead. I hated how I did everything I was supposed to do in HS and I studied hard and I didn’t mess around w/ drugs but I was spineless so when I got into U of Chi I didn’t go because the parents said “its too far away, ur a girl u wont be able to handle it” and then stayed here, majored in premed bio like they wanted me too, couldn’t handle it FOR REAL, switched to X-ray, couldn’t handle it again, which irrevocably screwed up my life again. They didn’t want me to have a worthless degree huh, so now I’m getting the most worthless of the worthless. Here I am talking to you guys and I know you mean well when you say it happens to everybody but I’m deathly scared that I’m not gonna get a job and I will end up on the streets, depressed and homeless. And the worst tragedy is that it’s all MY fault. </p>

<p>I sound like a drama queen but right now all this seems REAL and SERIOUS to me.</p>

<p>If you’re a parent reading this and you have any inclination to influence ur kids to go into healthcare or whatever they don’t have interest/aptitude for just DON’T. You can seriously mess them up and **** away a lot of scholarship money. And you don’t even need to be the crazy type who beat them over the head with it either (at least my parents never did, but they “suggested” it, oh the power of psychological manipulation). </p>

<p>Sartre is right theres no exit hell is other ppl. I’m gonna need a MIRACLE to get thru this.</p>

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<p>You are not worthless simply because you hate your major. My advice would be to just finish your degree program, graduate and get a job. It doesn’t have to be the greatest job or the job you want for the rest of your life. Work a year or two and then go to graduate school in whatever you decide you would like to do. Take the GRE’s. They are the most important factor in getting accepted. You also do not have to go to an elite school to get your masters. There are plenty of “regular” universities which will accept you with a bachelors in your major. </p>

<p>And please stop blaming yourself. Everyone of us had made mistakes - whether it was what we majored in, a job we took (or didn’t take) and even the college we chose to go to. </p>

<p>If I had a dollar for every stupid decision I made I would be a very wealthy person.</p>

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<p>Rice…Honestly, you are going to be OK. I recommend you start following your heart on the job front. What do you like to do? Graduate and then try to get an entry level job in the field that you THINK you might like…and then start adding to your credentials. Undergrad degrees are nothing more than the “first stopping point” of many. There are always more certifications, degrees, etc., that continue to define your career path. Keep putting one foot in front of another, but start letting your own HEART guide you just a little!! I got my Master’s and certification in my late 40’s and am still pushing forward. Life is long. My grandmother lived to be 105…I’m STILL only half way there. LOTS more I can STILL do!!</p>

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<p>I used to be the manager of technical publications at a large software company. I don’t think I EVER hired a communications major. I did hire English majors, Classics majors, poly sci majors…you name it. The important thing was that the person was <em>very</em> bright, loved to learn new things, interested in computers and software, communicated very well (getting information out of programmers can be a challenge), and wrote well. I never hired someone because they already knew the particular word processing package we were using. This is a pet peeve of mine! (If they were too dumb to learn a word processing package, they sure as hell weren’t going to be able to learn our software and communicate it effectively!)</p>

<p>Unfortunately, a lot of people are stupid and short-sighted. But do you want to work for someone like that? </p>

<p>Figure out how to present yourself so that you demonstrate the skills needed for the job. If you were admitted to the U of C, chances are you have them.</p>

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<p>Rice, sometimes it’s very easy to be our own worst enemy. Once on the path of negativity, it can be very hard to find our self worth. Take a deep breath. Find something positive about your self and repeat it. Do this every day. Stomp on the negative thoughts! For every negative thought you have turn it around and find the positive.</p>

<p>It may take a while to believe, but you do have worth. These past years haven’t been a waste. You have found things that you don’t want to do. Now find the things that you do like to do.</p>

<p>For a “fun” myers-briggs type test got to kindomality dot com. All you have to do is answer 8 questions and then you will find out what kind of person you are. I took this test 3 times and each time I was evaluated to be a Prime Minister. Positives: bold decision maker and risk taker. Negatives: impatient, impetuous and impulsive. Huh? impatient as a negative… :D</p>

<p>You will find something you are good at- it just may take awhile.</p>

<p>Another thought- join the military. I joined the US Air Force after 2 years of college because I didn’t know what I wanted to do- talk about feeling stupid and worthless… everyone around me had it all figured out! I joined with the intention of doing 4 years and then going back to school for my degree. My first duty station was England. It was awesome. Finally 20 years later, I retired and found a job that fits me. Still no degree- am looking into that right now. I hope I can finish before my son gets his :)</p>

<p>One thing you will find in the military- another family and cameraderie that you can’t find anywhere else. Once in the military, you are part of a larger family. Plus the schooling options are great.</p>

<p>repeat after me- I have worth, life is not a race, taking the longer path is not a bad thing it just means you’ll see more sights.</p>

<p>Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.</p>

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<p>So what. I know a number of folks who got their bachelors degrees in general studies or the like. They then found jobs of some sort. Some worked their way up in those jobs. Others eventually pursued a MASTERS degree. I don’t know anyone who wanted another bachelors degree (although I’m sure there are folks out there who do this…but yes…no finaid for a second bachelors in many cases).</p>

<p>So to the OP…get your bachelors degree. It will be one milestone done. Then find an area of work you like…get a job…see if you enjoy it. THEN if you need further education to continue or grow in that field, go from there.</p>

<p>Good luck to you.</p>

<p>The thing to remember is that MANY college students have jobs that are not at all related to their bachelors degree major.</p>

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<p>ricegod–
I am a parent and in the midst of a career change. I’d like to recommend two good books for you to read and follow. (I just did this myself, so it is very fresh in my mind.) The first is “Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type” by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger. The second is “The Pathfinder” by Nicholas Lore. These two books work really well together, and both recommend you figure out what you want to do based on your Myers-Briggs type. I went through these exercises just a week ago and figured out what I want to do, going forward. I’ve chosen a new career I’d never even considered before (Accounting). These books really helped me, and they could help you too. Good luck, and take care!</p>

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<p>ricegod - If you haven’t looked at jobs in the nonprofit sector, I hope you will take a look. I have worked in the field for almost 30 years - for all different types of organizations and in all types of positions. And I have worked with people who have all types of degrees. I just hired 2 new staff. One has a degree in anthropology, the other has a degree in worship music (or something like that.) I don’t care what their degrees are in. I look for people who express an interest in what my organization does, who have good people skills, who can represent us to the public and who are team players. If you had sent me your resume with a degree in MDS, I would have considered that degree equally with any other degree. So please know that there are options out “here” for you. Best of luck to you!</p>

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<p>Gads, dear heart, you are having a pity party. I love wildlife science. I do. There are fewer jobs in wildlife than in journalism. So . . . I worked minimum wage for a year to gain experience in the field. Then, I was SO thrilled to get a job for a state agency – for a grand total of $16K a year. </p>

<p>There may not be a lot of jobs for journalists out there. But you did, what? A few hours of looking on line? I wouldn’t hire anyone who seemed as easily discouraged as you seem to be (right now). Aren’t you worth a fight? </p>

<p>You seem ready to quit and be miserable because you can’t see a clear way forward. Wow. Welcome to life. This is not at all unusual for students – because what comes after 3rd grade? Fourth Grade. What comes after Fourth grade? Fifth grade. It is all very clear and obvious. I think that may be what your parents and you liked about the medical path. It was all very sequential. </p>

<p>There is no right way. There is no right path. You try something. If you like it, then do more of it. If you hate it, then learn that and cross that path off your list. </p>

<p>The Unitarians say you spend the first FORTY years of life figuring out what you are not. Then begins the work of figuring out what you are. </p>

<p>Many people experience a dozen different career paths (see Louis L’Mour or Ted Turner. Louis was a miner, cowboy, pugilist, bartender, steveadore, and a few other things before he started doing some writing.). </p>

<p>So, stop with the hand wringing. Go get a job doing SOMETHING (nanny, waitress, car park attendant) and use that work experience to sort out more about yourself. Yeah, you will be underemployed – but you will also be gaining some important insights to yourself – like why you like to play it safe – and why you have a hard time taking risk even when you want to (like turning down UC). You’ve spent many years learning – now go spend some time doing and who you are will start to crystalize. </p>

<p>Hang in there.</p>

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<p>I am thinking that you might enjoy the movie “Julie and Julia.” Young Julie was working as a cubicle/phone person in a victim’s resource center – definitely not a “forever” career path, when she decided to pursue an interest in French cooking and blog about her attempts to follow in Julia Child’s footsteps. Julie became a celebrity/published author – but with a few set backs too. </p>

<p>My point being, you may need to spend some cubicle time to pay rent while you figure out how to pursue passions. </p>

<p>I can tell that you love your parents and are frightened of disappointing them. It might help to say “you and I both thought that medicine was a good choice but it turned out to be totally wrong for me. I am not sure what path is the right one and I know it is scary for all of us that I have been in school a long time and what to do next is not clear. I need your love and support as I check out other possibilities. I promise I will be working very hard to make a career – I am very terrified but I also know I need to find a path that I can love. Please do be positive as I figure this out.”</p>

<p>So, you put it on the table that you are frightened – but also firm that you won’t go down a path that you know will make you miserable. They may be more supportive than you think (and, if not, at least you’ll feel better that you were plain about your thinking).</p>

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<p>Definitely get the BA, then figure things out from there. As a college senior with a weird special major who is currently job-hunting, I am seeing that there are so many jobs out there for smart people with BA degrees, regardless of major. Including jobs in libraries, offices of all kinds, jobs working with people, jobs working with data, PR stuff…You’ll graduate, find a job, if you don’t like it wait a year or two and look for a different job…when you find a career you’re sure you’re in love with, then maybe get a Master’s or other grad degree if you need it.</p>

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<p>Ricegod. Sartre was wrong. Hell is thinking that hell is other people.</p>

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<p>I apologize for the previous outburst. Sounded so emo, ugh.</p>

<p>@ Olymom: thank you for your suggestions of how to talk to my parents. I’ve worked in the office before and actually don’t mind cubicle/office work at all. It’s 10x better than the hospital. Getting the job is the hard part of the equation. All of the adults I know (parent’s friends, relatives) are involved in healthcare, so my chances of using networking to get a job out of healthcare are zero.</p>

<p>Good news: I got an interview for one of the PR internship I applied to! It’s next week and I’ve been using this time off to prep myself for the interview. Baby steps, baby steps.</p>

<p>I need your help again, parents.</p>

<p>At my library there’s an opening for a library associate position. It’s an AMAZING opportunity because it’s part time which means I’d have time to do various internships on the side to maximize my chances of getting a full time job. THE PROBLEM is that they require a bachelor degree.</p>

<p>Now, I’ve met the HR person and he told me I can go ahead and apply, though of course my current lack of a degree and my being a lowly shelver would make me not competitive. I am drafting a cover letter for the application right now and I have these questions:</p>

<p>-Should I give the whole spiel about my floundering with premed/x-ray to explain myself?
Or should I just say that I want to start my career @ the library and leave it at that?</p>

<p>-What should I say about the lack of degree (the x ray degree is expected in 2012, BUT if I am able to switch to multidisciplinary studies, I can get it in Spring 2011. However, my application to that program is still pending, so I don’t want to lie. It’s a HUGE MESS, I’m in limbo right now.)</p>

<p>-Is there anything else I can include in my cover letter so they’d give me a chance?</p>

<p>I have good references (co-workers); they really like working with me. So I guess that’s a plus. And I also can pretty much hit the ground running compare to someone who never worked in the library.</p>

<p>Sorry for the long post. These kinds of things can’t be found in career books.</p>

<p>THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!</p>

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<p>Never begin the job hunt process by hanging out your ugly bits. Never. Best foot forward! </p>

<p>That said, take a different attitude here. If the HR person actually said you were “not competitive” then all of this is just an exercise in getting yourself known. Just fill out the application to the best of your ability, pushing the positives (how thrilled you would be, shelving experience, etc). Then, when you do not get the job, ask if you can stop by and get some coaching on what HR is seeking for this sort of position for in the future. You would be laying the groundwork, in a professional manner, for future opportunities. </p>

<p>If the HR person said “go ahead and apply” but “you” are the one who thinks you are not competitive, then rethink things majorly. Go ahead and say “I am working hard to finish my degree and hope to complete my degree in the Spring of 2011”. Everything in that statement is the truth. </p>

<p>Role play a minute. There you are, a hardworking HR person. You have a stack of applications and you need to select a few to move ahead to the interview stage. Which of the following two do you move forward to the next level:</p>

<p>Anguished Anna. Anna tells you, in great detail, about her failure to earn a degree in xray technology. With great drama, she insists on telling you about her stomachaches, her worries, her parents’ pressuring comments, her fears, her dreams, and, at tremendous length, all the details involving her application to graduate in the spring of 2011. </p>

<p>Professional Penelope. Penelope describes her experience as a shelver, her knowledge of the building and enjoyment in assisting library patrons. She briefly describes other work experience and makes clear that she would be available to start the new position on schedule and with enthusiasm. Her letter is concise, positive and professional. </p>

<p>So, you can be either applicant. Pick one. Good luck!</p>