<p>So I'm almost onto my second week of college as a freshman and I've never felt so hopeless in my life. I haven't met anyone in my hall that I click with. I have "friends" and they like me and all but I don't really care for them, they're not like me. I like deep minded, mature people who don't talk about trivial things. I'm eccentric and it's harder for me to fit in than some people but I didn't think it'd be this hard. I haven't met a single person that I click with. I've talked to everyone in my hall, talked to people in my classes, went to three club meetings already and I'm seeing a counselor for help and so far I've gotten nothing. I haven't met anyone who I connect with and I've tried so hard and even went way out of my comfort zone. I don't know how else to find people since I haven't found people in my hall, classes or organizations. My school is big so there are so many people to meet which I thought would work in my favor but so far it hasn't. I feel like I'm never gonna find anyone and what I want more than anything is deep, genuine relationships. I'm so scared and depressed. I have mental health issues so I'm not even stable to begin with. I don't know what else to do. Please help me.</p>
<p>It’s been a week. Do you honestly expect to have formed deep, meaningful friendships in such a short time? It takes a while. Yes, right now your “friends” are mostly just acquaintances, yes you’ll be doing a lot of small talk if everyone is still just strangers. Do you think you’re the only person in the whole school that likes deep, mature conversations and meaningful connections?</p>
<p>Maybe it would help to focus more on activities than the people for now. You like soccer (or video games or origami or whatever)? Find a soccer team to join, start hanging out with those people. Even if they aren’t your best friends yet, you’ve got something in common, and hopefully it’s a hobby you enjoy. Start there, and as you get to know each other better those deeper bonds will form. Then you’ll be able to have conversations that aren’t small talk, and you’ll start to feel like you’ve got real friends again. But you need to find a group that you sorta like (ignore the trivial chatting part) and stick with it for a while.</p>
<p>Are there old highschool friends you’re still in contact with? Ones you can skype, or chat with on facebook? It might help with the loneliness for a bit, while you’re working on making new friends.</p>
<p>D had a number of acquaintances her first semester. She really didn’t have friends until the second semester. If you attended a HS where you knew the group you hung out with since grade school things may take some adjustment. Keep your door open, talk to people, join groups you might be interested in and engage your classmates. Nearly everyone is in your situation right now. The people that claim to have friends now may have completely different people they hang out with by the end of the semester. </p>
<p>First off, hugs…CC seems full of kids right now who haven’t found their tribes yet…too bad you all can’t attend the same college!</p>
<p>An idea – just completely forget about it…go to class & really get into it, research/read everything you can about what’s going on in these first few weeks, go to a church thing (even if you’re completely not religious…it’s more for the community thing), go to see movies at the campus center, find a hiking event on the weekend…and literally don’t think about making friends…pretend that you’re exploring a new land and bringing back your observations…for now, don’t interact with the natives…and, little by little, you’ll fall gently into your new life…</p>
<p>The freshman are still in the “meeting as many new people as I can” mode.
The frenzy to gather friends seems superficial and insincere to you.
As you move to your routine of classes, meals, activities you will begin to see who is on the same schedule, same classes, walking the same direction so you connect with them because it is convenient and natural, not forced.
Those relationships become friendships built on time spent, common interests, personality.
Be patient with others and yourself, too soon to be discounting people because you want deep, soul searching discussions while they want to keep it light and fluffy.</p>
<p>The other posters have given you great advice. Re: the mental health issues I am wondering if you have a counselor from “back home” that you like and are still working with? If not, connect with the counseling services at your college. And like the other posters said…it takes time and effort but you will eventually find your “people”.</p>
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<p>@beerme Thank you for posting this. Best advice I’ve seen.</p>
<p>Keep going to activities with people even if they won’t end up being your Best Buds…they know people and those people know people and eventually you will meet “your tribe”</p>
<p>It is very unusual to make good friends first semester of your freshman year. You will make many acquaintances and spend lots of time meeting different people but real friends not so fast. It takes some time, spending time with one another and going through some experiences… as in remember how we survived the first major snowstorm, or our first experience with finals or remember when I came to see in your recital/performance/art exhibit/swim meet, whatever… My older d clicked with girls in her freshman dorm floor first semester and they are still close-knit group of friends post-college but one of her closest friends now she first met second semester junior year. Same with younger d, she still has good friends from her freshman dorm that will likely be lifelong friends but those she spends the most time with are those she met later on through her major and her activities. </p>