I'm the better applicant!

College Confidential Community
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<p>Basically, this thread is for fun --- Perhaps lampooning the troll who goes on saying "I've published 10 books, and I've taken 28 AP classes --- and gotten 5's on all of them"</p>

<p>I'll make up an achievement that I've done, and you've got to top it, while sounding like a pretentious bastuhd. The next person must outdo the preceding poster, and so on and so forth. If this game goes accordingly, the made-up achievements will just get more and more outrageous and "prestigious"</p>

<p>I'll start:</p>

<p>I've climbed Mount Everest, while nurturing a dying Ethiopian back to life. Three days later, I found the cure for cancer and AIDS. My AP scores are as follow: 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 4. My GPA is 5.1 weighted. I am was offered a job as the vice president of our school --- but I declined because I wanted some free time to start up my own five-star restaurant.</p>

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<p>This should be fun. :D</p>

<p>Frankly, I'm unimpressed. I am actually quite depressed that people like you are going to be members of society in the future.Your extracurriculars lack passion and focus. I bet you're actually quite average and you're trying to piece together some measly achievements of yours to create an acceptable application. Also, your achievements are relatively minor - cancer and AIDS aren't that big of problems nowadays. Yes, you nurtured a dying Ethiopian back to life, but did you consider the horrible lives that millions of other people live? Did you do anything to help them? No. </p>

<p>You're not very smart at all. Also, the term "depth over breadth" normally applies to people with some actual ECs. You are not accomplished in any ECs, nor do you have a diverse amount of ECs either. Instead, you are claiming credit for scattered events that you happened to witness someone else doing. Based on your AP scores, I can see that you had neither the intelligence nor the drive to actually accomplish those ECs, however minimal, by yourself.</p>

<p>I, on the other hand, have some exemplary effort throughout high school. I have clearly demonstrated that I have unsurpassed intellectual capability in every single imaginable subject. I have been told by many people that I should be teaching as a professor at Harvard, even though I'm only a 9 year-old Junior (I was held back a few times). I scored 5s on 27 AP different exams. I have also scored 8 800s in the SAT IIs. I was quite disappointed with one of my 800s because I later found out that I had actually missed a question and it was curved. People like me actually deserve the merit they have recognized. They aren't parasites like you. They haven't failed at school. </p>

<p>I do not see any potential in you either. You are going to become a failure at life, just like you're a failure at academia.</p>

<p>I would list my ECs, but undeserving brats like you do not deserve to see them. I will be simple and modest and tell you that I am internationally ranked in 11 different sports - so I'm the best athlete in the world and I could crush the next best athlete with half of my current skill.</p>

<p>You're quite average, and you're a pathetic liar as well. Shame is bestowed upon you.</p>

<p>[Do I win? :D]</p>

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<p>I gave birth at the ripe old age of 7. Vaginally. None of that C-section crap.</p>

<p>Try and beat that. I know you can't. I am amazing.</p>

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<p>I defeated Chuck Norris in a fight...enough said.</p>

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<p>I can name every shade of red that only women can see.
not really.</p>

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<p>I slept with the admissions officer.</p>

<p>Now you know you can't beat that!</p>

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<p>I was the admissions officer...</p>

<p>You got a 7 year old pregnant. You're not getting in.</p>

<p>I was an admissions officer at the age of 7. I am amazing.</p>

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<p>Ewwwwww! I never got a 7 year old pregnant!!!!!!!!</p>

<p>Edit: Oh and the admissions officer wasn't blonde (thank goodness!), she was a brunette. :p</p>

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<p>I wore a wig, idiot.</p>

<p>It's not my fault I was born with Scandinavian hair...</p>

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<p>You only wish lablondie, you only wish...</p>

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<p>I wish more now that I got a taste of what I'm missing.</p>

<p>[ewwwwww!]</p>

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<p>More in the spirit of the thread...</p>

<p>I appreciate the competition, but is all this academic nonsense truly necessary? One may wave a pretty high school transcript as arrogantly as is humanly conceivable, yet I fail to see the value in such a flimsy piece of paper. True genius is worldly, and although sports, medicine, and everest might seem causes of renown, they are values as wasted as one's secondary education.
To find that which is of greatest value, one must turn rather to the physical sciences. Here, I regret to inform you, I have succeeded in a manner far beyond that of your glamor and humanism. A unified theory, that little prospect which physicists have been striving towards for ages - let's simply say that it's no longer open to their petty research. You should see the article shortly, and I won't ask you to attempt to comprehend its reasoning. Simply look down marginally beneath the title; I expect you will find a name that is somewhat relevant to our discussion.</p>

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<p>@lablondie: ewwwww, what do you mean you got a taste? Yuck, I would never give a blondie, especially one from LA, a taste of even my world famous chocolate mousse (not really world famous, as a matter of fact I don't even make it :).)</p>

<p>And besides, you're a Yale officer, and I hate Yale.</p>

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<p>Oh dear. <--That could be referring to anything, mind you. Not one thing in particular. Of course not. I would never do that.</p>

<p>Well, this is why I'm hot. <em>clears throat</em>
As I have already told LesOs, I received a fwoople on my SATs before being conceived and when I was three, the number I received was so large, it could give one a mild concussion if one were to see it written down on paper. I also told her that I was aiming for murder the next time I took the SATs. </p>

<p>I withheld any other information because I feared that other posters would be intimidated and leave CC forever once they found out about my other numerous acheivements. But since you have asked, I will contribute a few more accomplishments to this thread.</p>

<p>I had drawn up a plan to solve the problems world hunger, world peace and aging when I was a mere fetus. But my foolish mother thought it was just a part of the placenta and so threw it out. Since then I have redrawn up better plans and submitted them repeatedly to different governments around the world. All of the greatest (and not so great) rulers have me on speed dial. I was offered the chance to be dictator of the world and while that would be a great EC, I decided to turn them down because I thought my ECs would seem too unfocused to colleges.</p>

<p>I have also cured a number of diseases, both existing ones and future ones.
Basically I am a genius in every sense of the word. And I'm modest too, which is a definite hook.</p>

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<p>My Stats from another thread</p>

<p>Stats:
Fee Waiver Used?: Yes
SAT I (by section): 800M, 800W (12 essay), 810 CR
SAT IIs: 800 Math I, 800 Math II, 800 Bio-E, 800 Bio-M, 800 Chinese, 800 Spanish, 800 Literature, 800 World History, 790 USH
GPA, Weighted and Unweighted: 4.0UW/5.0W
Rank: 1/589230
ACT: 36
APs (including this year's): 24 AP's, all self-study (I had to take IB classes at school), all 5's
IBs (including this year's: 24 IB classes taken
Senior Yr Courseload: IB Theory of Everything and Anything, IB Athletics, IB Lunch, IB College Tournament Pick'em, IB Roller Coaster Tycoon, IB Underwater Basketweaving (I had to take these b/c I already took all the other IB classes)
Number of Apps from Your School: Just little old me
Other stats (Awards, etc.): I was picked most likely to commit suicide
Subjective:
ECs listed on app: Varsity Track, Cheerleading, Cross Country, Football, Softball, Crew, Lacrosse; President of Chess Club, Student Government, NHS, FFA, Captain of FCA; Founder of school's chapter of Model UN, Amnesty International; Over 500 hours of community service at local research center helping with cure for cancer
Job/Work Experience: I hold down a 40hr/week job as a Fortune 500 marketing consultant
Essays (subject and responses): I had them reviewed by old aunt Maya Angelou, she said they were astounding
Teacher Recs: So-so
Counselor Rec: Pretty good
Interview (feel, interviewer and general location): I invited my interviewer to a restaurant I own, said I was the most outstanding applicant ever, and the meal was really good
Hook (TASP, RSI, Research, etc.): Nothing really stands out on my application, so I don't know
Location/Person:
State or Country: Wyoming
School Type, Average Stats of School (if available): Subpar
Ethnicity: half black, half Native American, half Pacific Islander
Gender: Undeclared
Income Bracket: $5-10 per year
Hooks (URM, first generation college, etc.): I'm not sure of any
Strengths: None really
Weaknesses: My super low score on my SAT II USH, not too many EC's
Why you think you were accepted/deferred/denied: Divine intervention?</p>

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<p>Niiicee....</p>

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<p>I'm 15 years old. I'm currently a surgeon working for the University of Chicago hospital. I also already have 3 PhD's in various subjects from Harvard, oxford and Stanford. I'm looking to add on to that list. I am a Law School professor at 2 Ivy League institutions. I had such consistently high SAT scores (12 2400's and one 2390) that I now write the tests. I also developed the new SAT II engineering. My ECs include (small sample due to space constraint), opening the first homeless shelter to actually proved residents with a free college education, solving the problem of world hunger, halting global warming, restoring the polar ice caps, and ensuring continuing world peace. I also spend time deep sea diving and recently found a new underwater cave believed to be the new deepest point. I'm currently in the process of publishing a book outlining my findings on the newly discovered planet Tolkeinland and the life forms that appear to be in evidence there. As only first generation college student, from a mixed URM family (aboriginal Australian, pacific islander, Inuit, and American Indian), I have had to work to earn the family income since I was 3 years old, therefore I will also be donating a large fund to the school I attend yearly, both before and after graduation.</p>

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<p>I'm kind of a big deal.</p>

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<p>Sorry...but you guys pale in comparison to me. As for my academics, I am ranked 1 in a high school of 100,000 in an extremely poor yet competitive high school in China, even though I am half black and half hispanic. I have maintained this rank ever since preschool. As for my test scores, I have gotten a 2400 everyear starting in kindergarten. In preschool I got a measly 1600 (back when it was out of 1600) As for SAT II's, I have gotten perfect 800's on all 20 SAT II's. For AP exams, I have made 28 5's. This is nothing compared though to my EC's. My "passion" is scientific research. Not only did I INVENT SARS (using highly complicated biological engineering) I created the cure for such a disease. Afterwards, I used my skills to invent a cure for cancer, the first of which you are seeing is the HPV virus vaccine. Not only do I like research, I also love math. I am a 5X qualifier for the IMO and have led the Chinese team to victory several times. Did I also mention, that I also invented vector calculus and linear algebra? Furthermore, I am helping collegeboard write the new Calculus AP Exam (AP Calc CD-"the equivalent of Calc III) They already let me get my hands on the current AP Exams (that explained the impossible 2007 FRQ-I thought they were easy as cake) Aaah...I also have EC's in the military. Not only, am I the one behind Al-Qaeda and keeping it strong, I also helped the U.S. capture Saddam Hussein. George Bush has just recently paid me 6 billion dollars to just stop helping Al-Qaeda so they'll fall to America's strength. However, I recently won in the 2004 Olympics a record of 34 gold medals-take that, I'm a recruited athlete to boot! Did I mention I was the first 17 year old on Mars? :)</p>

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<p>Im sorry but I win you all. I have invented the cure to cancer!</p>