<p>I don't know if this is bad, but I'm a sophomore starting my spring semester and am already fed up with my college. High school was not that fun for me. I had a few close friends who all had the same values as me, but for the most part, I didn't really fit in because I didn't drink, smoke, sleep around or anything like that. I really had hoped college would be a place with much more mature people who didn't do stupid stuff like that. However, I ended up having to go to a school where it seems that's what EVERYONE does. I haven't really made any friends here because I still have the same values I had in high school and don't go to parties where everyone is just getting drunk. Some of my closest high school friends who go here are doing this now and we have fallen apart. And, to make things worse, I don't think I've met a single girl here that doesn't drink. My college is honestly a hick, backwards, good-ol-boy, southern hell hole. It's completely bereft of any class. Just to make matters worse, I really wanted to go to a college out of state but my parents wouldn't allow me to do this because the tuition would be higher. I feel like I did my part by working very hard in high school to obtain scholarships and to be accepted into college, but my parents didn't follow through in allowing me to go to the school that best suited me. I can't help but have a little disdain over that situation. So now, as a result of this, I am stuck at a college where I am completely unhappy. I have no friends here, I haven't met one tasteful girl, and I'm very frustrated with the school's relentless desire to be a top 20 school causing it to completely disregard the dire need for better quality professors and major improvements in the science departments. If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.</p>
<p>Why don't you get involved with a religious organization at your school (whatever your denomination/religion is)? Surely there will be some girls in it, or at least other people you could be friends with, that have the same or similar morals to you.</p>
<p>i don't think your looking in the right places. Believe it or not, not every college student drinks, does drugs and tries to act hardcore. Just by looking around at parties, you can tell which ones are trying to force themselves into a personality that isn't themself. Also, don't think girls will think less of you because your not a drinking type.</p>
<p>Where are you at?</p>
<p>I'm attending clemson university in south carolina.</p>
<p>So I see that Clemson hasn't changed much since I taught there in 1969. LOL. Still filled with suitcase grits?</p>
<p>Why not transfer to the University of South Carolina?</p>
<p>I think the students at Clemson are higher caliber than those at SC...anyone remember the frat guys from Borat?</p>
<p>I'm going to go ahead and say this and apologize if this is offensive to anyone. In response to trying religious organizations at clemson, I have. I've tried FCA, campus crusades, and bcm. All of these organizations are absolutely saturated with the same people who drink and sleep around. FCA at my high school wasn't like this. We had people who sincerely strived to make themselves better and follow what was taught at FCA. I don't know if most college religious groups are like this, but this is pretty much the standard at clemson.</p>
<p>Hate to say it, but it sounds like your problem stems from your inability to accept others' choices. If ALL they do is drink and party, then yes, you may need to find somewhere more suited to you, but it sounds more to me like you have some kind of issue with hanging out with anyone who makes those kind of personal choices. If that's the case, I don't know what to suggest, except lightening up and accepting what people choose to do.</p>
<p>1of42, I think you're being rather harsh. I don't think that the OP is not judging others, just trying to find a group that he fits in with. College can be a very lonely place. For some freshman, 1st semester is a chance to go totally wild, and it can be lonely if you're one of the small minority that just doesn't want to participate in that.</p>
<p>I sympathize because my daughter went (for one year) to U. So. Carolina as an out of state student. She ran into the same thing.... by second semester she was also going to bars for recreation (underage is no problem there) but it still wasn't her favorite thing. I know that people say that drinking is everywhere, and it is, but schools do vary re: the reliance on drinking as a primary activity. At large schools (like Clemson or U. So. Carolina), it might be less of a problem in Honors programs/Honors dorms or in substance free dorms. Also apparently living/learning communities/dorms attract kids who have different interests.</p>
<p>My D has spent a year at home, attending a branch campus of Penn State, and will be moving up to Main Campus to live in an apartment with a group of friends who have similar interests.</p>
<p>I think 1of42 hit it right on the head. People party and drink at every school (except places like BYU). I think the problem is that you feel like you are somehow better than the other "hick, good ol' boy" people at your school. Well, you're not. I am sure you are special in your own way, but I know many intelligent people that have gone to Clemson. I understand that you thought people would be more mature when you got to college, but part of growing up and being mature is developing the ability to interact with people whose values may be different from your own. Pity parties are never fun and are always lonely. I hope you realize this before you waste more of your college experience.</p>
<p>I also think jec7483 and 1of42 got it right. I don't partying and I don't drink. But I don't look down on those who do. Alot of my friends like to do those things and I accept the choices they make as long as it doesn't affect me. I really say this but loosen up. I'm not telling you to go drinking or partying but I'm telling you not to judge people on this.</p>
<p>I must say I have to agree a little with 1of42, jec7483, and tmacgirl. You guys definitely brought up valid points about myself and I appreciate your honesty. However, I don't feel that I am judging anyone. If I choose to hang out with people who party all the time it will affect me. I don't understand how it couldn't. Even the slightest thing such as pictures posted online of me with people at a party with everyone holding beers and alcohol can raise the question of whether or not I do those things. This image doesn't look very professional, and aren't we in college to make the best of ourselves? I don't get close to many people at clemson because they would rather go party and I chose not to do those things. If I suggest going to a movie or playing some poker or something instead of going to a party nine times out of ten my friends would rather go party. Once again, I do appreciate ALL the comments. No matter how harsh you may think it sounds I am a fan of honesty so please keep them coming.</p>
<p>im sorry this is happening to u. after working so hard... u deserve better</p>
<p>it must be very tought being the only one that doesnt party..but i assure you there are more people like you. you should try getting involved in religious organization or interest groups. maybe give partying a try too? don't drink at parties but just go and try to have a good time ( i know its kinda hard) but if you try enough you can maek it happyn</p>
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<p>Wow, you and I hold the exact same views, even though I have a lot of friends at my college. Its not that were judging anyone, (I could care less about someone drinking themselves into oblivion 6 out of the 7 days of the week) its that how can you be close friends with people who are always doing those types of things without it affecting you, especially if you don't approve of it or participate in it.</p>
<p>Anytime I go to a party and pictures are taken I'm always afraid that I'll be tagged in one of them on facebook and my family members that are on it will start thinking I'm involved in those types of things.</p>
<p>Drinking is just like any other interest and its hard to have fun with friends with which you don't share a strong similar interest with, especially something like drinking which is the strongest interest for many.</p>
<p>I always saw college as the most opportune time and place to make the best of yourself too. You are basically finally in total control of your life and which paths you will take so you can mold yourself as you see fit. No one to tell you when to be somewhere, you have to do something now, or controlling your life in any real way. You eat when you want to eat, eat what you want to eat, go to class if you feel like it, or don't, basically do what you want to do.</p>
<p>You can never really find any other time in your life where you have the resources to become the most fit, absorb the most knowledge, and develop the greatest friendships you've ever had in your life. And drinking has never been (at least to me) part of making myself the best person I can be.</p>
<p>And what I put in bold is also what FRUSTRATES me to no end about my college too, and almost seems reason enough to transfer in itself. If people could just find fun in doing other things than drinking themselves into oblivion EVERY weekend, thing would be perfect...</p>
<p>I think your big problem is that you're going to school in the South, which means that a ton of the people you go to school with are going to be hard-partying, run-of-the-mill college bros/skanks who wear backwards baseball caps and care way too much about sports and pickup trucks. You might want to look at schools in more developed areas of the country so that you won't have to exclusively be around people who think that frat parties are the alpha and omega of social interaction. Or if you're completely stuck instate, put up with it, work hard and get a good job somewhere cool.</p>
<p>Haha, jack4640. I completely agree! I just got back from nyc and it's startling how completely different people are. I love nyc. People seem to carry themselves in a better, more professionally-oriented way which is the same lifestyle I feel college should promote. We are going there to become a better generation and move society forward, not settle on barely passing classes, drinking all the time, and trying to make the longest list of girls you've nailed. Yes I'm stuck instate so there's not much I can do about that. But when I get out I'm getting the heck out of the south! I don't mean this to be offensive but it's just not for me. </p>
<p>And to Kenshinsan, thank goodness someone else feels this way! Where do you go to school? It would be very interesting to me to see if these similarities come as a result of the are we live in. Best wishes to you and good luck!</p>
<p>dude, just pop open a bottle of brew and chill...</p>
<p>its not like its gonna kill you</p>
<p>I an understand your frustration. Unfortunately there is a culture of partying, drinking, drugging at colleges today. It sounds like your school may be slightly worse than others as you describe it. Sounds like your best bet is to try and transfer to a school with a more serious student body. </p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>Excuse me, jack4640, but NOT everyone in the South is like that, thank you. Referring to us as less developed than the rest of the country is insulting and I am offended by it. I couldn't care less about country music or pick-up trucks and although I like some sports, I'm not obsessed with them. I have only been to one frat party in my whole life and I was bored out of my mind the whole time. I party and drink but not obsessively, and I do other things with my friends besides that. We hang out and play board games, or watch movies/tv, or just chill and talk. Just because mzsp23 has had a bad experience at Clemson does not mean every other university in the south is the same way or even that everyone at Clemson is that way.</p>