<p>We felt the same way about our son so even though he was accepted into some state colleges we decided at the last minute to have him attend a community college. He was mad at first but now realizes we made the best choice. He has matured and is taking his classes much more serious and will be applying to transfer this fall. We’re thrilled with how it is turning out. And he will still graduate with kids close to his age.</p>
<p>Thanks for your insights. Not much sleep last night…he has spoken to a recruiter already. He did his homework and told us the AF was the best for him as far as military. I just dont know how he can choose that over college or Gap Year. I feel like he is incredibly naive.
He thinks its an easy out but he has no idea… and who knows what this recruiter promised him. I am so sad.</p>
<p>Maybe he would consider college ROTC? Then he would go in as an officer? Maybe if you get on board WITH him part-way he’ll rethink things.</p>
<p>D1 did this too. The whole recruiter thing and everything. Took her testing, scored off the charts. The highest score they’d seen in the area. BUT, she couldn’t get her desired MOS - then she got scared, and backed out before signing…</p>
<p>Just because he’s heading down that road does NOT mean that’s where he’ll wind up. Also have him ask his recruiter about TIMING. They have way more recruits than they have openings. Many recruits are wait listed and it could be almost a year before he even goes to basic.</p>
<p>[What</a> the Recruiter Never Told You – Part 3, Enlistment Process and Job Selection](<a href=“http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/joiningup/a/recruiter3_3.htm]What”>http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/joiningup/a/recruiter3_3.htm)</p>
<p>It’s the promises that concern me after watching what my second son’s friend went through. Also something to consider, that kid had to sit at home watching all his friends head off to college because the Army didn’t “want” him at boot camp until February. He often camp over and hung out like a lost puppy with our third son while waiting to leave because none of his friends were in the area. If your son actually goes through with this you might want to suggest he be certain about when exactly he is going to ‘head off’ to boot camp. On the flip side, this might just work out well for him, my oldest son has a friend who changed his mind at the 99th hour about going to college and went into the Navy and he’s doing great and will probably end up a “lifer.”</p>
<p>ldavis, is there a way you could meet the recruiter with your son to discuss what is being offered? You will have more of an ability to gauge what he is saying… If your son is going in naive, he won’t be for long… it could be what he needs to learn self discipline and motivation. He may do much better in the long run.</p>
<p>OP, I feel for you. My S1 did the same thing, talking to recruiters, before we persuaded him to look at military college (from which he was able to resign more easily than an enlistment contract). </p>
<p>It is important for you as a parent to hear what the recruiter is promising your son so you can give him guidance, All branches of the military are facing extensive budget cuts. It is a tough time to be enlisting when the military budget is shrinking & commitments are in transition. (This is a fact, not a political opinion.) If your son wants to to go this way, he needs assurances that the promises will be kept despite an uncertain future. </p>
<p>I am extremely grateful to those who choose to serve our country, and there is much to be learned. But right now is a tough time to be looking at this option.</p>
<p>I agree it can be better to go into the military with a degree.
My brother recently retired from the AirForce, which was also how he paid for college.
Is he interested inROTC?
[U.S</a>. Air Force ROTC - College Scholarships and Careers](<a href=“http://www.afrotc.com/]U.S”>http://www.afrotc.com/)</p>
<p>I wouldnt look to the military as a way to force maturity, but some people do better with external structure.
However, lots of concerns with that path & best to be aware.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.nyclu.org/content/no-student-left-unrecruited-military-recruitment-and-students-rights[/url]”>Education | New York Civil Liberties Union | ACLU of New York;
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</p>
<p>Considering the armed forces, including the Army are preparing for downsizing, college ROTC may not pan out…either being admitted to the program and/or getting commissioned at the end. </p>
<p>Judging by the OP’s description of her son, friends and cousins who served in the armed forces as NCOs and Officers wouldn’t regard him as “officer material” unless he drastically changes his passive attitude and lack of initiative.</p>
<p>His traits as of right now are doable…though not ideal for someone who’s enlisting. They won’t work for someone who can’t take the initiative and be proactive in a leadership role.</p>
<p>If he’s serious about the Air Force and is not just doing this to carry out some form of teenage rebellion, then he needs to start the enlistment process ASAP because with the war winding down and budget cuts soon to follow, enlistment is no longer a quick process. From what I hear nowadays, even the Army averages 6 months before you actually ship out. I can only imagine that it’s quite a bit longer with the Air Force, especially since they will have no trouble finding recruits who will take ANY job the Air Force offers them.</p>
<p>This goes double if you want ROTC no matter the branch, especially if you want try out for the scholarship. All branches are quite picky about who they give scholarships to nowadays; more so for the Air Force. An officers salary is quite attractive in this crappy job market, expect a ton of competition for those scholarships. Again if he’s serious, start applying NOW.</p>
<p>I desperately wanted to do a gap year. However, due to my parents’ opposition, it would have meant completely breaking off from my family at age 18. As a teenager who was very close with her parents, I felt unable to do that. However, looking back more than ten years later, my life would be so much different - for the better - if I had.</p>
<p><em>heavy sigh</em> long weekend, OP here. We have agreed to pursue both college and ROTC/college and AF on parallel tracks. We will all explore all options together. He talked to one of his teachers that he really likes and respects ( Vietnam Vet)Friday after school and he told him he does not see him as an enlisted man. Explore ROTC at college. That may be our compromise.</p>
<p>I believe if you don’t take an ROTC scholarship, you can do the first 2 years of college without committing to the service.</p>
<p>Hang in there OP. I’ve heard from other parents, that our fickle juniors often do a 180 by September.</p>
<p>He’s a Senior.</p>
<p>DS is officially planning on ROTC at school even though he has missed freshman year deadline. So he now needs to figure out how to pay for freshman year. We will pay part but not all…and he wont fill out the easiest of local Scholarship apps ( most due Mar. 1). He would probably win some -smart, athletic,musical,… He plans on getting student loans…so I turned it over to him. He has to figure out how to get loans - and I am sure we will be expected to co-sign. What the heck. 
I also have just learned about disenrollment in the ROTC… they can kick you out for drinking, bad grades, etc and make you go enlisted or pay back any scholarships… so it is NOT as easy out for those considering that route… Dont ever think your life YOUR life wont take a 180.</p>
<p>Why won’t he fill out the scholarship apps? If you are expected to co-sign loans, why not make his completing those apps a requirement?</p>
<p>OP- if he finds filling out scholarship forms bureaucratic and time-consuming, wait until he meets the Armed Forces!</p>
<p>There is a simple solution to deciding not to co-sign a loan if you think there is a big risk that your kid won’t be able to re-pay and that you and your credit score will be on the hook. Just don’t.</p>
<p>Yep, if he were mine, those scholarship applications would be filled out and ready to go tomorrow, or no co-signing.</p>
<p>It’s not too much to ask.</p>
<p>And I’d help him too!</p>
<p>I’m sorry but this all started because he wont do what we ask him to. I have done all college research, insisted on college visits, it’s been all me. So I have some saying turn it over to him… and now others saying I have to make him…<br>
Anything I make him do he is going to push back on. So there will be no loans? And I just let him flounder? I am not being a smart alec… I am in a difficult spot.</p>
<p>L- agree you are in a difficult spot but reading between the lines you are treating him both as a child as an adult. Stop doing, stop insisting, stop paying.</p>
<p>It sounds like your son can show initiative when he wants to (hence the sudden interest in ROTC.) It sounds like your son is inventive when he has to (a gap between what school costs and what he can afford? No worries- mom will co-sign a loan.) And it certainly sounds like your son is not interested in walking down a path that you have cleared for him.</p>
<p>So stop.</p>
<p>Sit him down, or take a long walk around the block, and explain that you love him and will always be there for him to support him emotionally. But he needs to figure out what he’s doing next year; you are not going to facilitate him going to summer camp (which is what college for kids with no academic direction but plenty of friends and free time turns into.) You will provide a roof over his head and hot water/internet for free which is more than a landlord will provide at that price, and he can get a job, enroll in college, it’s up to him. But other than his bed and utilities you can’t subsidize his existence while he enjoys life. So no phone bills, no gas money- he needs to figure it out.</p>
<p>And you love him and know what a smart and talented kid he is.</p>
<p>Your son didn’t do any college research or figure out any college visits because he knew you would and he couldn’t be bothered. Your son hasn’t applied for any scholarships because he knows you will pick up the tab and he can’t be bothered.</p>
<p>Why are you afraid of him pushing back? That’s how kids learn to be independent- by realizing that as much as they whine and yell, mom won’t tie their shoes once they can do it themselves. Mom won’t make them a sandwich at midnight when they’re hungry because they can do it themselves (and wash up so she doesn’t face a sink full of dirty dishes at 6 am).</p>
<p>But don’t yell and don’t threaten. It’s just reality time, and reality is that you are not co-signing a loan for him. Reality is that ROTC won’t just happen- he’s got to start to push and plan.</p>
<p>You can do this!!!</p>