<p>Hi everybody!
I'm an international student and I've been learning English for less than 2 years. Yet, I still want to go to American college and get a decent education. I have troubles with writing. My grammar is not that great and my wording is even worse. If you could please read my SAT practice essay and check my grammar and wording I would appreciate it verymuch! You MAY be harsh and I'll accept even the most critical comments.
Thank you very much!</p>
<p>Assignment:
" To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within."</p>
<p>What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
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<pre><code> We live in the world of choices: what cars we want to have, what houses we want to live in, what education we want to get or other important aspects of life. If you don't like something, you can easily change it; at least of us can. And it doesn't matter if it's a minor haircut change, or change of the sex. We live in the world of choices, the world so many opportunities and even more possibilities. We have choices and, therefore, we love to make changes.
When I was 11 years old all I wanted to do was to change something. Move the furniture in my room, change the hair style, change or obtain a habit or change anything - as long as it was different from before, I'd be fine. But most importantly, I wanted to change myself, perhaps even become a new person. Not that I didn't like my personality nor I had low self-esteem. I just desperately needed to change something, change anything. I can' t remember where I got motivated from. Probably, from peers or from my older cousin, because she was very smart and [pretty and I wanted to be like her, or even to be her. Eventually, my whole idea about changing personality had changed (again, it's all about changes) and I realized that I want to leave my-self the way I am. I wanted to improve, but yet still stay the same person.
We want to make some changes in our lives so we can imitate the life of other people, because perhaps we like their lives better than ours. We want changes, so we can be like others, because we don't want to stand out of the crowd; or maybe we want changes because we want to stand out. I think that's the reason why some people prefer emo or pank style - because they want to be noticeable. All we want is changes and the environment we live in greatly influences our choices. If there would be no changes, we probably wouldn't reach such a high level of civilization and our own, personal growth. Therefore, I believe changes are extremely still important as long as they don't contradict the person that sits inside of our body.
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