<p>As many of you know our D has been all over the place in college selection. She is a top ranked student, did well on 10th grade PSAT, her score went lower on 11th grade PSAT (has not taken the SAT yet an just took the Feb ACT) and she will have completed 8 AP's by end of Junior year and is on track for UWGPA of 4.0. She LOVES our state flagship and is committed to going to that school. At first she was all for the HYP, etc, but a summer at Brown made her realize that regional differences (social, weather, political climate, etc) make a difference to her (good or bad, those are her feelings) We had jointly agreed that she would only apply to state flagship (UT Austin) and since she is in the top 1/2% admission was not an issue. Nice to have a pressure free application process. Yesterday she proclaimed that she wanted to apply to Stanford, Princeton, Northwestern and Rice, just to measure if she had what it took to get into those schools. But no matter what their decisions were, she was sticking with UT. I tried to explain to her that although we had originally anticipated the expense of applying to multiple colleges, if she had no intention of going those school it was a waste of money to apply. I have to wonder if she is just saying it does not matter to take the pressure off or if it really does matter and if she were to be accepted she might possibly accept the spot. In her words, she says this is her opportunity to find out how she measures up and if she does not take the chance, she feels she will regret it. So I guess I ask you insightful CC'ers....would you let your child do this based on what they are actually saying and not read anything into what you think they may be thinking, or would you just refuse to spend the money on applications and move on? Could it be financially justified by providing financial packages to compare against? (Originally I felt we would not qualify for FA, but we now have two boys in college and our investments suck and our business was pretty lackluster last year so we probably will qualify for some NBA)</p>
<p>I would let her apply, but I wouldn’t pay for all of them. Maybe have her go in 50-50, that way she really has to think of what she wants and if it’s worth it…</p>
<p>* her words, she says this is her opportunity to find out how she measures up and if she does not take the chance, she feels she will regret it.*</p>
<p>So she is a junior?</p>
<p>I say, as long as the app money isn’t an extreme hardship, go ahead and give her the thumbs up.
Things may change between now and entering college- and it sounds like the affirmation of more competitive schools is something she is very curious about.</p>
<p>It’s only money.
;)</p>
<p>If it were me…</p>
<p>I’d encourage the extra apps.</p>
<p>Who knows why or what her motivation is? Who knows how she’ll feel in 15 months when she needs to make a decision? You don’t know how much aid you’ll qualify for it seems; you don’t know how she’ll feel about UT once she sees who else from your HS is going there.</p>
<p>All you know is that her chances of going to Rice et al are exactly zero if she doesn’t apply.</p>
<p>I would also let her apply, but I would make her earn the money this summer to pay for the application fees. Have her put a little skin in the game and all. Be sure she understands ahead of time what you would be willing to pay.</p>
<p>You’ll still have a pressure free application process. </p>
<p>You don’t have to visit these other schools until after acceptance if that would be difficult logistically or financially. I think she should apply – although I might ask her to pay some of the application fees if the cost of them is an issue for you.</p>
<p>What does she want to study? Does one of these reach schools have an awesome program in her intended major? I’d let her keep her options open … she is only a junior right now!</p>
<p>Well, if she doesn’t want the NE, she can cross Princeton off the list. Many, many students apply to see whether they can get in, which explains the enormous applicant pool to many schools. Just read the thread about silliest reason your child applied to a school and you will see that. Mine applied to Cornell because she already had the sweatshirt and if she got accepted, she could wear it to school instead of her uniform–I guess the admissions office saw through that.</p>
<p>My daughter is a college freshman and she, too, was all over the place during the college search. My suggestion is to let her apply. You will not know the expenses involved until far into search process, but if she does not apply, she will always wonder. The thing about kids like your daughter is that they have safety schools and reach schools; the reaches are reaches for everyone because of the number of qualified applicants and the number of spaces available (the top students are academic matches, but there are not enough spaces). I hope that makes sense.</p>
<p>In the whole scheme of things, the application costs for two or three more schools is not that much. Perhaps you can offer to pay for two others and she can pay for as many others as she wants to apply to. In general, the more selective the school is, the bigger pain the application is, so she may grow weary of the process fairly quickly. Good luck.</p>
<p>cross-posted</p>
<p>I would also let her apply. She’s got plenty of time for her attitudes, feelings, and focus to continue to evolve. Some kids do feel a kind of validation/recognition of their accomplishments when they get the affirmation of an extremely competitive school. We had that experience in our family: our daughter loved her safety best, and chose it over four much more highly ranked schools, including two Ivys. She really felt great satisfaction from those acceptances, but no regrets at all for turning them down for the school she felt fit her best.</p>
<p>I think application fees should be the least of your worries. I don’t know why you would make her pay for those applications, did her borthers pay? I would first figure out what you could afford to pay, what’s ballpark FA you would be eligible for, and see if you could afford those privates. The worst thing would be if she were to get into those schools and you couldn’t afford the tuition. Sometimes those privates are cheaper than in state after FA, but sometimes it’s not depending on your finance.</p>
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<p>To me, that sounds exactly like a teenager whose thoughts are evolving, and says that for the record so she doesn’t get her hopes up too high while moving out of her comfort zone.</p>
<p>She really wants to apply elsewhere and has good reasons to see what life brings her way. Don’t let her walk around forever saying, “I wanted to apply to x, and we could have afforded the apps, but my parents wouldn’t let me so I’ll never know…”</p>
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<p>To me, that sounds exactly like a teenager whose thoughts are evolving, and says that for the record so she doesn’t get her hopes up too high while moving out of her comfort zone.</p>
<p>She really wants to apply elsewhere and has good reasons to see what life brings her way. Don’t let her walk around forever saying, “I wanted to apply to x, and we could have afforded the apps, but my parents wouldn’t let me so I’ll never know…”</p>
<p>I agree completely with paying3tuitions (and others). However I hate hate hate – really hate – the tendency to see college applications as a kind of athletic contest, where you “see how you measure up” against the competition. That is wasteful, disrespectful of others, contributes to the general anxiety, and is potentially self-destructive as well. (A kid should NOT be encouraged to judge herself by whether she is accepted at Princeton or Stanford.)</p>
<p>So if it were MY kid, I would be saying some version of the following: I’m happy to pay for you to apply to those schools, but on one condition: that if you are accepted and get financial aid that’s adequate you will give serious consideration to going there. Choosing between any of them and UT would be a tough choice, and there would be something to say on either side. If you want to keep your options open, great. If all you are doing is seeing if you can brag about where you got in – even if you are just doing it to yourself – then THAT you’ll have to do without my help."</p>
<p>If her brothers didn’t have to pay for their apps, you can’t really ask her to pay for some of these. But, you can limit how many she applies to…</p>
<p>BTW…many kids have plans to apply to X number of schools, but when it comes time to actually doing the apps, the essays, etc, many decide not to IF they already have a school that they want to attend.</p>
<p>That said, there’s nothing wrong with applying to a couple of super reaches “just to find out,” if she would really consider going there. Is there any concern that those schools won’t be affordable if she decides to attend one?</p>
<p>Since your D has such super stats, is she considering applying to any schools where she might get great merit? Even some top schools like Vandy sometimes give merit.</p>
<p>Had another thought: If she does explore the other colleges and ends up Deciding on UT, she’ll be a happier camper at UT for having gone through the process. </p>
<p>The part that sounds uncertain is whether you are confident in your ability to pay for something other than UT, so that’s worth researching. If she gets into a high-ranked school with your blessing to apply, but then you say we couldn’t afford it in the first place…that’s an unhappy situation to deal with late-on. She might need some schools that are also Financial Safeties but not UT, that she admires. </p>
<p>The general wisdom here is to make a list of schools with an academic safety, a financial safety, some matches and reaches. As long as she’s expanding her list, she needs to take into account what you anticipate you can afford or are willing to borrow to afford. If you’re ready to stretch so she can explore her academic potential, she ought to IMO stretch to meet you by adding some financial safeties onto that larger list, too.</p>
<p>If she worked hard enough to be in the top 1/2% then she deserves the chance to see how she does at that level…and who knows what will happen if she gets accepted at one or more of those colleges?</p>
<p>I would narrow down the field by researching programs, culture, climate, and so forth. If accepted to all those schools, which would she prefer? You’ve got California, NJ, TX, and the Windy Midwest all represented–that covers a lot of territory!</p>
<p>And I agree with paying3t’s comments. She may find a financial safety that appeals to her.</p>
<p>I am overwhelmed by all of your thoughtful answers. Thank you all so much. Just to clarify, we have set aside plenty of money for applications to whatever school she wants to apply to. I just hate “wasting” money and if she is only using the applications as a ruler to judge herself, then I would be reluctant to have her go forward. Having her pay for the applications would not be fair to her as we have never asked any of the kids to do this and we encourage giving of oneself through volunteering instead of earning paid wages. We all have to have jobs as adults to put food on the table and for me, this is an opportunity to help people the kids are interested in without having to stress over bills. </p>
<p>I personally have always wanted her to “spread her wings” and try many different schools. Her father his 100% happy to have her 1.5 hours away at “his” school. I think deep down if she was given an acceptance to one of these schools with good FA, she would highly consider it. I just don’t think she wants to put her neck on the block of “I have to get in that school.”</p>
<p>May the application process begin…in 6 months…lol</p>
<p>I’d let her do it, and here’s why. I told my daughter in her junior year that “the you of today will be very different from the you who accepts a place in a college.” That has been absolutely true and having only one option would have set her up for unhappiness – no matter what she thought way back then. Also, sometimes life can have unexpected plans for each of us that will make an option that looks perfect turn out to be not so great afterward. I’m not a fan of only one application because we had an unexpected death in March of D1’s senior year that changed things for her and made the first choice unworkable for reasons we could never have imagined. Good luck and congratulations on your wonderful daughter.</p>
<p>And Rice offers merit aid, right? It might end up being perfect for her and no more expensive than UT.</p>
<p>I’d let her do it also. I have to agree with JHS so I would try to suss out how she came up with those particular schools given her lack of enthusiasm with cold…but I’d only push back just enough to try and understand the motivations. Agree that Rice would be a very good place to lob an app. Unforunately I believe many of the “big” scholarship deadlines have passed at these schools, but there might be merit scholarships still attainable. If she does do an app she should absolutely take a look at the websites and if any of the scholarship deadlines were within the past couple weeks she should be “calling” the admissions office at the same time she’s hitting submit.</p>