Hi! I just finished the 9th grade. I just recently began to think about college and it made me very anxious and nervous. I just feel as if I won’t accomplish anything substantial in my following years. I am viewed as a highly intelligent person in my freshman high school(freshman and upperclassmen are separated) and I just suspect that when I go to college, I’ll experience the Big-Fish-Little-Pond Effect. I intend on going to a good school and I am just feeling very inadequate at the moment. When you’re known as a gifted student for most of your life, it’s almost as if you have to live up to a certain expectation and when you fail to meet that expectation, you feel as if you’ve let down everybody. I just feel as if I need to prove to myself that I am just more than the regular smart kid… Anybody feel this way or relate?
When I was at my old district, I was first chair violin at the top orchestra and made all region orchestra 3 years in a row. When I moved to a better school district, I didn’t even make the top orchestra and also didn’t even get into all-region. This led to my depression and eventually quitting orchestra (despite playing for 9 years).
You just have to try your best and learn there is nothing bad about being just a regular smart kid. When there’s not a lot of competition, you get this artificially inflated ego. Once you go out into the real world and see all the competition, you can start to feel inadequate, but you just partly have to accept it.
If you can’t accept the new situation, you might end up making bad choices like me (quitting orchestra in my case or getting depressed). Sure, maybe you won’t make it into the Ivy League, but there’s nothing wrong about being a smart person and getting into a respectable university.
Just try to be the best that you can be, and don’t try to be the best that others want you to be.
I totally relate. Being a part of GATE and talent searches can really give students the perception that they have to be extraordinary in every single aspect of their lives. I think that these programs definitely help students but also contribute to unrealistic expectations. Coupled with the ridiculous nature of college admissions, the atmosphere in most high schools is terribly competitive.
How I cope with “imposter syndrome” is by first acknowledging that it is a problem. Society and parents may contribute to this problem, but the only person that is pushing yourself and comparing yourself to other people is yourself. When you acknowledge that you don’t need to be the best at everything to be happy or confident, you can begin taking steps to put that into effect. If your parents put pressure on you to succeed at everything, have a conversation and talk it out.
For me, I find that doing stuff that I truly enjoy definitely gives me more confidence. Reading books, drawing, painting, talking with friends, or anything else that you like to do can improve your self-esteem. Perhaps learn more about a topic that you really enjoy, like Philosophy. Get to know the other people at your school better, since they aren’t statistics or numbers that you’re competing against but actual people with flaws and insecurities. Finally, make mistakes. Begin in a less competitive setting, like drawing on your own or practicing a musical instrument by yourself. Once you see that mistakes are inevitable and that they don’t define you as a person, your expectations will change accordingly.
Don’t worry about high school. Sophomore year is super fun. Focus on your academics, but don’t forget to detoxify. You will see people on this site who write novels, do cutting-edge research, or win national competitions, but remember that you have unique circumstances and that if you try your best, you should still be content with your accomplishments. Effort and hard work is key; perfection is unrealistic. Plus, Ivy League colleges and other super selective universities are honestly not worth giving up your high school life. If you have any concerns, feel free to contact me.
There are literally hundreds of “good” colleges, not just the handful that you can think of off the top of your head. Do the best you can. Put in the effort to actually learn the material that you are being taught in high school, be friendly with your teachers and peers, do the right things and stay out of trouble. You’ll get into a “good” college.