<p>Haven't heard info on how much (if any) influence/import the parent statements have on the application process....do people have thoughts? As an adult who worked hard on these statements, I would hope so. But maybe not.....</p>
<p>Just something I was thinking of in these last few days.</p>
<p>I was wondering the same thing...for different reasons. My parents did not put any effort into my parent statements, and just wrote generic, vague descriptions on why they think the schools would be good for me. Would the fact that my parents clearly did not care very much about this hurt me a lot? After all, the schools would probably weigh their opinion very heavily because they "know me best."</p>
<p>I don't know if they help or not. But I shared mine with a friend who works in the private school world and he told me that I would definitely get in because it was written so well. I said thanks but I was kind of hoping they would take my daughter instead. </p>
<p>Alyria, in all honesty I think that the statements have to matter to some degree. After all for most kids the decision to attend is largely the parents'. If parents seem disinterested I would suspect the schools would notice. OTOH maybe the same schools can smell out the helicopter parents by the over-hyper statements and keep those their kids out.</p>
<p>One Dean of Admission at a highly competitive school told me that candid and revealing statements get a lot of weight. The glowing, "my child hangs the moon" responses don't get much weight. Basically, they decide how credible a parental statement is and rely on it more or less based on that decision. How much weight the statements get relative to other elements of the application...I just don't know. But I was assured that they aren't a waste of time if you're forthcoming and provide information they think they can rely on in deciding just what kind of child is applying.</p>
<p>How well a statement is written -- in terms of flowery prose, grammar, plot, pacing, literary merit, etc. -- may have some indirect impact in that those statements are more likely to articulate thoughts better than barely literate hieroglyphics. But -- as many who slog through my posts know -- prose-y responses aren't necessarily better responses or more responsive to the questions asked of the parents. I don't find it difficult to imagine a beautifully written statement that is totally useless just as I can easily imagine a crude, abrupt, and grammatically outrageous statement setting forth a very compelling case for a child's admission.</p>
<p>A boarding school consultant I talked to said that one of the main purposes of the parent statement is to ensure that the parent isn't too overbearing.</p>
<p>I don't have an direct experience with US boarding school applications and the parent statement (at least not yet -- we will see how 3/10 goes), but I filled out way too many parent statements when my older son applied for numerous study abroad programs last year (he was accepted to all 5 programs and choose to attend an international boarding school). </p>
<p>I was told (by multiple organizations) that the parent statement was critical and that many kids were not accepted due to parent statements. They were looking to see if the parents supported the kid's desire to study abroad and also to see if they felt that the child was mature. I was told that lack of parental support and parents who felt their child was "immature" and that a study abroad program would help them gain maturity was indicative of a student who would most likely have trouble adjusting and drop out of the program (something study abroad programs don't like to happen).</p>
<p>I can imagine that, to some extent, BS look for the same thing -- if your parents don't seem to support the idea of BS ("Johnny really wants to attend Andover, even though we have a perfectly good school right here in town, so we told him he could try it out...") or indicate that the student has maturity issues that they think BS might solve ("Susie never does her homework and fights all the time with teachers and students. We feel that Exeter would be able to help her mature and stop all the fighting and procrastination") that the student would have a harder chance of getting admitted.</p>
<p>That doesn't mean that parents needed to address those issues specifically in the parent statement, not does the student need to have the maturity of a 30 year old. I was also told that fancy, flowery parent statements are not a negative -- but that the admissions people did get tired of reading long paragraphs praising every aspect of the student. They said they appreciated any humor that was injected. </p>
<p>As long as your parent sound supportive and back-up the recs from teachers, your statements and grades, I don't think it will effect the application negatively.</p>
<p>Wow...I agree about the "I think BS will fix this..." comment from parents. That's not the way to go. First of all, if you would write that if you were totally candid, then rethink boarding school. It might still work out, but that comment is a real downer on so many levels. It references problems, it indicates a surrender by the parent to figure it out and a desire to outsource the problem, and it just sounds so "needy." To me, it says that the parent is gambling on BS being a cure. And even though it may be a wise bet on the parents' part, most of these schools have so many applications in the hopper they have no need to make the same wager on your child.</p>
<p>The better way to express this thought -- and always use specific examples where appropriate and space permits -- is to indicate that BS will ENHANCE or BUILD ON successes. If there are examples where the applicant has excelled in a residential setting before, reference them. Remove the "gamble" aspect of it, so that this is something you know to be true, not what you wish for your child. </p>
<p>(Absent a residential experience, try to find other situations where your child was in a community and excelled -- maybe you've observed that your child performs better all around when s/he's engaged in wide-ranging activities with a certain group, perhaps a day camp or maybe the 7th grade English class formed the bulk of the soccer team and that camaraderie led to better-than-usual achievements in both English and soccer.)</p>
<p>Just as it makes sense for someone to read and review the applicant's essays before they go out, parents should not consider their statements to be out of the reach of that same vetting process.</p>
<p>For my parent statement, I just wrote a letter addressed to my son...
I hope they don't mind this approach. FYI, I am a Korean living in Canada, so it's OK to correct my English ^^;; </p>
<h2>Here is some of it (sorry it's a bit too long):</h2>
<p>To my beloved son, </p>
<p>After the recent interview trip, you were so sure you found the right school. You expressed confidence in identifying a school and a boarding environment that is right for you. </p>
<p>And then the idea of sending you away for the next four years of high school finally began to sink in. And I thought of the happiest moments that we had together. When you made me so happy and proud… </p>
<p>During your spring soccer camp, Vancouver was soaked with rain. There was so much of it that, on the last day of the camp, they had to shut down the soccer field. Many dropped out, but you didn’t give up. After the disappointing cancellation of the school soccer team, you were just happy to play the game. Your persistence, patience, and passion delight me. To do the things you truly love, you know you have to persevere. </p>
<p>When you were working on the months-long USA Math Talent Search last year, you were spending many sleepless nights and weekends trying to solve the toughest problems. Of course, I couldn’t be of any help. I tried to introduce math teachers who could guide you. You said “thanks, but please let me try first, and if I still can not do it, then I will ask them.” I thought you were too foolhardy. In fact you couldn’t ask them for help due to the contest regulations. You didn’t tell me that. You didn’t want to hurt my feelings. You wanted me to think that I was somehow able to help you. I like your honesty, truthfulness but also I appreciate your kindness and consideration for those around you. </p>
<h2>During the last interview trip, while driving in New England, I was craving for a Starbucks and complained about the inconveniences of small towns. You pointed out that in small towns without big companies, it would be better to have local coffee shops which help the money stay in the local economy, instead of it being siphoned off to faraway corporations. I didn’t tell you then, but I was happy with your compassion and growing awareness of how the world works. </h2>
<p>I'm kind of nervous about the parent statements. My parents didn't show me the actual answers, but they typed them up on the computer for some reason, and I saw them. Let's just say that my parents don't speak english and it was very very filled with mistakes. So I'm kind of nervous. But they were nice things, though.</p>
<p>my parent recommendations were written by my parents in their native language.. and I typed up a translated copy. do you think that was okay?</p>
<p>I think that's fine, as long as their statements are unchanged. I just hope that the admissions committee can understand my parent's writing.</p>
<p>I don't think my patents statements are to great. My mom is still adjusting to the bs idea, but at the time she wasn't exactly thinking bs would help me to much and my current school was fine. I wish I could have seen them but oh well.</p>
<p>I originally posted something about my dad, but found it a bit too personal and identifying for this website, as more then 450 people have been watching this thread....hahaha</p>
<p>My son got waitlisted at a local day school for 6th grade because of a statement we made about his poor organizational skills during the parent interview. He tested well, great grades, but that one statement put him on the waitlist. Well, that is what we were told when we called the school when we got the letter. We argued his case and they did end up accepting him, but I would be careful about anything negative written or said to the admissions folks.</p>
<p>Mamom, that's kind of sad. Dinging a 12 year old because of poor organizational skills? That's like dinging him because he has no body hair and hasn't stopped growing yet. Show me a sixth grader with great organizational skills and I'll show you a future Felix Unger (old school reference for you kids born after the 1st Bush Gulf War).</p>
<p>I think organizational skills is one of the things a good school should be teaching a child that age.</p>
<p>Actually, organizational skill developement was a huge part of the curriculum. They used color coded notebooks, folders, notecards, and planners and drilled this into my son for 3 years. Why when it was such a big part of the curriculum they denied him admissions intially I don't know. I do know we were very careful what we said to HS admission officials.</p>
<p>Our school color-codes without even being told to do so o_0
Math binders are almost always green with us, science is purple, language arts tends to be black, and social studies is pink. But that might be because in elementary school, it was drilled into our heads that blue meant writing, green meant math, red meant reading, and so much more. It would look kind of comical if you looked down at all the desks, because every folder for every class would be the exact same color, and every notebook would have the exact same cover, or else we'd usually get in trouble. We picked up on the habits, I guess. </p>
<p>haha fun times. (: but wow, mamom, that still seems kind of harsh. You should still be learning organization, not mastering. I sometimes forget I left a pencil case back in my last class :O</p>