Info gathering visits for high school sophomores - is this too much?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>I have a very undecided high school sophomore with a best friend. I'm trying to work with them to narrow down a list of colleges to visit over April vacation. They think they want to go to college together - who knows. They have been best friends since they were 3 so anything is possible. For now I think they're moral support for each other. Neither has a clear goal for a major.</p>

<p>Here's the question - if we travel with the girls and her mom that makes 4 of us. I think they may be brave enough to talk to admissions just the 2 of them or all 4 of us might end up there. It would be helpful for the moms to hear what's happening at this point. The friend has an 11 year old younger brother that they are talking about bringing on the trip. I'd like to hear others thoughts about this - is that okay? Will that make it so we can't all go into admissions? Taking turns may be an option but I'm not crazy about missing out. What to do, what to do.... </p>

<p>Any thoughts or advice welcome.</p>

2

<p>Admissions offices in April will hardly be just the 2 or 4 of you. Think large (~100) meeting rooms/lecture halls and 20-30 person walking tours of campus.
If the girls are not the driving forces behind this trip, I'd say plan a nice spring break vacation for them and the 11 year old and stop in on a school or two on the way there and back. If they are truely undecided, go see whatever schools are local to get a flavor of size, types of dorms, urban vs. rural, etc.</p>

3

<p>The admissions officer will speak with the kids first and then you will be invited in to ask any questions. Make an appointment and they will want to speak with each student alone. After all, it isn't all your decision, they are accessing the student too. But high school sophomore is too young.Sounds like the entire trip will be too giddy. The kids are too young.</p>

4

<p>most of the time its just a walk around campus on a tour, maybe a lunch etc</p>

<p>usually the lunches, the admission stuff is with just the student and parents and siblings sit around and read, take a walk, go to the bookstore, get a snack</p>

<p>the best thing to do is stay at the back of the tour group, let the two friends walk near the front, ask their own questions etc</p>

<p>just contact each school and see what your options are- sometimes its an either/or- for instance my D wanted to do a lunch with students, and didn't need to do anything with admissions people per se at BU, but at Lewis and Clark, she did do an interview and a class</p>

<p>for moms, it can be a lot if sitting around and waiting, so make sure the 11 year old has stuff- or you can just take a walk around if the student is having an interview</p>

<p>this is your students turn to deal with stuff, and you need to step back...your "turn" doesn't matter and in fact, some parents can be downright annoying if they are too involved</p>

<p>so my advice is to go to the websites for each school, and sign up for the tours, see what other options there are and then, let the girls decide what they want to do</p>

<p>I took three girls to Boston last year, with a younger sibling, but the sibling was a freshman- so sometimes I was with them all, other times, I sat and read, when they sat in on a class, I took the time to just sit...</p>

<p>let the kids do some of this work, it is there trip and they will apreciate it more if they have made some of the choses ahead of time</p>

<p>as for the little brother, saw LOTS of siblings on our tours...not a big deal at all</p>

<p>what cities are you thinking of going to</p>

5

<p>Our first "big college tour" was also spring of 10th grade. We made it more like a mini-vacation. (spring break coincided with the Cherry Blossom festival in DC.) Hotels with indoor pools- General campus tours but had no plans to speak to admission people. (It really may be too early for that) Also April is when HS seniors will be touring the campuses as THEY will be making their final decisions- so it really may not be the right time for 10th graders to make appointments with admission counselors.
If the parents can take a secondary role (be a silent partner on the campus tour) and let the girls roam around campus a bit- student union etc, I think it can be a fun and useful visit.</p>

6

<p>Sophomore year seems a bit early to me to be doing serious college touring. I'd make sure I scheduled some other fun things to do as well. I agree with what everyone else said - college tours in April tend to be very large - everyone else is on Spring Break too. At this point I think if the girls just get some sense of what large, small, rural, urban and suburban choices might be like they'll be ahead of the game. My then 8th grader came along on my older son's college tours - and for the most part he seemed to enjoy them. He did always have a book with him just in case.</p>

7

<p>when my Ds was a sophmore, we did a NYC trip and then to WashDC...it was fabulous...she wasn't too young, but her focus was a bit different, but we did do lots of touristy stuff...it was a mother-daughter bonding thing</p>

<p>this trip was to get a 'feel' for what my Ds wanted...big school, small, city, etc</p>

<p>It was alot of fun, and it was helpful, and all ages were there, and it can get them to really see what there is for them in the future...and no harm doing interviews, but as someone said, also make it fun</p>

<p>My youngest was an 8th grader when we did the NYC trip, but she grew on that trip, she had adventures and it was motivating</p>

<p>BUT, do remember to step back and let the girls deal....it is frustrating, and you can sense it from the admission people when a parent is speaking for the child and this is the time they can practice with not much to lose</p>

8

<p>I tend to agree with backhandgrip. I have a sophomore as well for whom I wouldn't even consider suggesting an April college trip. He is simply not ready to consider college choices yet, and I think most sophomores aren't. You did say you have a "very undecided" one, too.
If you do go, I'd follow mominva's advice and make it just one or two schools, tagged on to a fun trip. No stress, no decision-making.
April of or summer after junior year really is a better time to start visits, imho.</p>

9

<p>well, for us, we live on the west coast and D both want to do east coast schools, and trying to get it all in on one spring break as a Jr would have been impossible</p>

<p>I do think switching the purpose of the trip around a bit is smart- make it a vacation with some college stuff thrown in, instead of a college hunt with some sidetrips to touristy stuff</p>

<p>but I don't think sophmores are too young and if they are totally clueless, seeing a couple of schools can help with that</p>

<p>another reason, especially for these girls, is that while they talk about going to the same schools, etc, after having travelled together, they may discover they have different goals</p>

<p>one may want a big school and the other not a chance</p>

<p>and it may give the moms a chance to say, subtely of course, that planning on attending college and doing applications so that you can go together, well not such a good idea...you need to have your OWN ideas, and gee, what if one got in and the other didn't</p>

<p>Jr year moves realllllly fast, and is full of stuff....so this trip is a good idea, so long as its balanced</p>

10

<p>I don't think the kids are too young. I did several college visits with my daughter when she was in 10th grade. It would have been impossible to do everything in 11th grade.</p>

<p>Since there are going to be two adults, perhaps one adult could skip the college tour and do something else with the 11-year-old, who is not likely to be interested in visiting campuses.</p>

11

<p>yeah, the mom of the 11 year old, she can take the kid off for an adventure</p>

<p>for us, we tried to do our visits in the morning, so our afternoons were free to explore</p>

<p>and to be honest, I enjoyed my down time while the kids were in a class or having lunch with the students, cause being with 4 teen girls can be exhausting</p>

12

<p>Keep in mind that most kids change A LOT between the spring of sophomore year and the spring of senior year. Grades, test scores, interests and even friendships can look a lot different two years from now, so the colleges you visit today may be off the radar by then. And, one of the unfortunate consequences of visiting colleges this early is that the early "looks" tend to be forgotten or hard to remember because the visits occurred so long ago. </p>

<p>So, while it's fine to do a few EXPLORATORY visits just to get the girls familiar with different types of colleges if you happen to be in their area, you probably are still going to end up doing another series of visits next spring. I agree with Citysgirlmom: Make this more of a vacation with a few college stops thrown in rather than a college tour.</p>

<p>If I was doing a trip like this, I'd try to visit a large public university, a mid-sized private university, and a small liberal arts college. I might also try to do one urban campus, one suburban and one more remote campus. I'd also have a preference for not visiting the most selective schools at this point - in other words, I'd pick schools that are likely to be solid matches and even safeties in two years, not reaches. No need to worry about the girls picking the schools to visit -- take the lead and map out some visits based on where you'll be. </p>

<p>I would NOT schedule interviews with admissions people at this time (in fact, many colleges will not interview sophomores) - either do a walk-about on your own (stop in the admissions office for a map, try to grab a meal in the cafeteria or snack bar, etc) or take the formal tour. </p>

<p>The purpose, however, should not be to find "the right college" at this point - but rather to start looking for the "things I want and don't want in a college."</p>

13

<p>but at Lewis and Clark, she did do an interview and a class</p>

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<p>Just wanted to point out that L&C now will not even interview juniors - only seniors. And, some sophomores might be pretty intimidated by sitting in on a class this early in the process, let alone asking questions on the tour. It really depends on the individual student and how outgoing and ready they are. </p>

<p>My daughter's first few campus visits at the start of junior year she hardly spoke because she was awestruck by "how old" the students looked. She didn't sit in on classes until the following spring. She didn't do an overnight until she'd already decided where she was going! My son, on the other hand, started off his college visits this spring (his junior year) doing an overnight, sitting in on classes, and chatting up students. They're just very different people. You could drop my son in the middle of Beijing at midnight and he'd make friends and not feel intimidated. :)</p>

<p>By the way, my daughter and I visited 26 colleges during her junior year. She ended up applying to FOUR! Looking back, I think we could have saved a lot of time, money, and, perhaps a bit of aggravation and done just fine with 10 or 12 visits. I was often more curious about all of the schools we visited than she was, and after the first few visits, she really did have a pretty clear idea of what she wanted. We could have left out many schools at that point. If I had to do it over again, I would visit far fewer schools! In fact, that's just what I'm doing with my son. He knows we have limited time to do visits, so he is choosing which ones he wants to see very carefully.</p>

14

<p>End of my S's jr. year and over the summer, we visited several campuses he was interested in. My daughter was going into 10th grade at the time, and with the first visit she was like ... "do I hafta go?" As this was also a family time together, the answer was "yes." By the end of the summer, she told us how much she'd enjoyed those visits, how it helped her seeing some of these campuses and listening to the general admissions talk ... made her start thinking more about what classes she might take jr/sr year, how important those grades really are ...(not just M and D talking nonsense), and generally affirming a lot of stuff we'd already been telling both of them. Overall a very good exeperience, and she's started thinking more about what schools she might like to look at ... all too soon, sigh ...</p>

<p>zebes</p>

15

<p>zebes- you brought up a good point. I remember the admission session at William and Mary. The Admin Counselor was very clear. She'd rather see physics and Calc. on the kids transcript- and not Statistics and AP Psych (we're from NY- we have no "wiggle room" in college admission). As d had already signed up for 11th grade classes, she then made the decision to take Physics and calc. in her senior year. (and she really was hoping to avoid physics)
PS- she did get into William and Mary. So sometimes those tidbits of info you gather in 10th grade is helpful. If we got that info in her junior year, it might have been too late to change her senior year schedule.</p>

<p>Also- if any of the siblings do HS sports, you may be limited as to when you can go on vacation and look at colleges. Basketball tournaments always coincided with President's week on Long Island- so we had a lot less flexibility in checking out schools.
Every family's situation is different. Some kids are never ready to look- even if they are HS seniors!!</p>

16

<p>I agree with Carolyn about 10th grade being a great time to just do an information session and a walking tour just to give your student a feel for the different types of college settings in addition to balancing out the trip with other things to do in the area. This way your student can assess for his/her self what kind of setting they like (or dislike), get a feel for things to do off campus and quick getaways. In our house, of the 10 schools we saw over spring break sophomore year, only 2 made the cut when it came time to filling out an application.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that April is going to be hetic because many colleges hold their admitted students open houses during this time because they know that seniors are going to be out of school. If you are looking for a lot of "quality time" from a college, this probably not the week you are going to get it so be prepared as mominva said for information sessions (with lots of other families) and tours.</p>

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<p>Another vote for the 10th grade as a time to visit types of schools (rural/urban/large/small/co-ed/single sex, etc.) and to attend, if possible, a general information session. We did this in February and the general session was invaluable - they did a great job of touching on the points that will matter whatever school d. applies to and just gets kids thinking about course choices and testing and e.c.s. Yes, I know - by sophomore year many things are already decided (you can't choose at that point to play piano 5 years if you haven't already started) and as parents we probably already have a sense (especially if this is not #1 child) of where kid might fit, strengths, etc. but for the kids themselves they can start to take 'own' the process. Many kids haven't done SATs by this point and that is a major component in figuring out likelihood of admission. </p>

<p>We purposely went to a school that does not track demonstrated interest - d. really wanted to be anonymous at this point, was not ready to answer questions as to what her interests were, where she'd like to attend, etc. It's way too early for that, but not, IMO, for students to get the lay of the land in terms of size and location and to start listening to what admissions people have to say in general sessions.</p>

18

<p>A suggestion-go ahead with the plan but only take the kids who really want to go. If they would rather be doing summer fun things at home, scrap the road show.</p>

19

<p>Techie, I don't think 10th grade is too early. We did one (Northwestern) while on a spring vacation in 9th grade. Visited five on a Spring vacation during 10th grade, moving up the line in terms of geographic desirability by D's criteria (Midwest, then Mid-Atlantic). 11th grade was the Boston to NYC marathon. D's having established a baseline of reactions and expectations from the earlier trips, along with knowing more or less what to expect from a visit, helped <em>immensely</em> when the focus level and interest was high.</p>

<p>I would not bring along an 11-year-old boy unless most of the trip was going to be devoted to fun stuff unless he is <em>extraordinarily</em> patient.</p>

20

<p>Like most other posters here, I would say that 10th grade is a good time to do general "look-sees", so to speak, but not any hardcore admissions stuff--even formal tours and info sessions are optional at this point. When I was younger, we did visit several colleges as little side trips on our vacations, but the visits were just that--visits, not tours or info sessions and certainly not sitting in on classes or anything like that. These were definitely helpful to me--off the top of my head, I saw Harvard, Princeton, Yale, University of Virginia, Washington and Lee, Indiana University, and University of Illinois this way over a period of several years (and a couple of other true jaunts that were totally not serious). These weren't long visits--a couple of hours, tops (at my parent's alma mater), usually more like 20 minutes to an hour, depending on the school. They were still fruitful--Harvard and UVa were certainly colleges that I would have considered, had I not visited and discovered that I hated them and immediately wanted to leave. And with the big public universities, I was able to acertain that that kind of school was just too big for me. Note: know what kind of kids you have on your hands. I am sure that some kids would feel seriously pressured if their parents brought them to see HYP without any prompting, but I didn't (and I was younger than 10th grade, too). </p>

<p>I wouldn't even necessarily recommend doing a tour and info session at this point--I mean, there's nothing wrong with doing those things now, but most of the benefit of college visits for me came in just seeing the college. The more indepth visits become important when you are seriously considering a college. Also, to echo what others have said: if this is more a college trip than a vacation with a few (key word: few) college visits thrown in, leave the 11 year old at home with Dad to go to a baseball game or something else special (if you are worried about the 11 y.o. feeling left out), because at best he will only be bored during these tours, and at worst he will drive you and everyone else on the tour nuts.</p>

<p>Also echoing others, don't be too worried about hitting specific colleges on your trip. As a sophmore, it doesn't really matter how well put together you are, you have next to no clue what kind of schools you really want or are qualified for. Believe me--I was doing the college admissions books, planning my schedule, bumming around college help websites online thing as a freshmen. I didn't actually make a college list, or need to make a college list, until winter of my junior year--I couldn't have made a list as a sophmore, anyway, with only a vague class rank and no standardized test scores. There will be plenty of time to ramp up the admissions pressure (My "official" college tour = 10 colleges in 5 days in 6 states, usually with fewer than 2 hours between the end of scheduled events at one college and the beginning of scheduled events at the next. It worked out fine! But it was definitely not a vacation.)</p>