@Calliemomofgirls for us, the college process was MUCH easier. Probably due to our BS’s CC office.
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Much easier for us too. I think it’s because each BS application/set of essays was different. And we only applied to 2-3 boarding schools!
Agree with @buuzn03 - I am anticipating that our BS application experience will serve as a great dress rehearsal for college applications next year. My kiddo has already commented on that - not sweating it as much as friends back home who have never done such a process. Plus, our kids were younger when they applied to BS - they had to really reach up and dig deep. It built resilience in our kids that will serve them positively when applying to college IMHO. 
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We did SAO only, so maybe my experience is not the same as someone applying to acronym schools. But the essays for D21 were much more time consuming this year than D25’s for BS. Longer, higher standard, sometimes less reusable. Plus many colleges are big on demonstrated interest, so if you are casting a wide net that’s a lot of Zooms or visits during normal times.
The list making is much tougher too. Just so many more choices, both in terms of number of choices and in types of options.
@Calliemomofgirls - I can already hear my Kiddo’s answer to your rhetorical question: “Much easier applying to college because I was not at home with my parents on my back”
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LOL, I was typing harder at the same time everyone else was saying easier. I’m still thinking harder from the kid POV, but easier from the parent POV because someone else gets to be the one nagging your kid to just write the damn essays!
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@dadof4kids - I can assure you that I am a bigger nag and much harder on my kid than any teacher, coach, or GC at the school. I would love to work as a GC at a school, but would probably be fired the first week.
If your kid is anything like mine, she takes it MUCH better from someone else. Even in our house, my wife frequently asks me to ask the girls to do something. Something about that mother/daughter dynamic that gets a bit dicey in the teen years. I’m hoping that BS can actually change that a bit. Less conflict, because we aren’t the ones telling her to get her homework done or room clean.
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If not for Covid, I would have said easier, but I think it threw a wrench in things this year and made it harder.
I can’t comment because we didn’t participate much in our son’s civilian college apps beyond paying fees, but his service academy apps took almost a year to complete, and we had to fly him home twice for nomination interviews. Fortunately both Army and Navy supply their own GCs in the form of Field Force Reps (FFRs) and Blue and Gold Officers (BGOs) to shepherd each applicant through, so we didn’t have to participate in that process either (and told our son we wouldn’t as we didn’t support him applying to SAs).
The reason I post our experience is to point out that you can be as involved or not as you (and your student’s BS) want to be. Choate was pretty clear in saying they preferred parents to take a back seat. We took a back, balcony seat, and it all worked out fine.
If FA is in the mix, though, more involvement may be necessary as @cateparent noted with that informative link upthread.
Also, if anyone reading here has a student interested in applying to a service academy from BS, I’m happy to answer any questions I can. Just PM.
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Yes it is a day school. But I think the handholding varies in boarding school as well. I have heard from several parents at our school that kids are expected to do a ton of essay writing and other college applications related work over the summer, so that is not much different. And the school organizes one college visiting trip, much like any other schools, public or private. You do the rest of school visits over breaks/summer.
We are family of procrastinators, so I was hoping that having a child in BS will makes all of our lives easier with someone else doing the nagging. But not all schools actually require the kids to finish applications while on campus. I know it is common at ours for the kids to be deferred from their early school and then spend their winter break at home scrambling to finish their RD applications, much like the kids who live at home do. In theory the GCs tell you that all applications should be finished before REA/ED notifications date but the kids who actually manage this are pretty rare.
I can definitely agree that things vary from school to school. My youngest was at a day school and had they s/he stayed, I would have had pretty low expectation in terms of CG. Same for the private days we looked at. I think CG can and do vary though.
My oldest is a procrastinator. So I get it. But honestly, it’s kind of a parent-CG combo. The parent has to make sure the kid is on track with the plan. I can see how the CG is the expert and leading the process but it’s also managing from afar. Just my opinion. I’ve had lots of experiences where school folks were supposed to be doing something and weren’t.
As I said on another thread, I never talk to teachers/coaches or CG but I talk to my kids and I read every email, so they rarely let something slide. Yes, I haunt them about upcoming dates: tournaments, camps etc. But, I’ve never looked at a homework assignment. Just the grades.
The idea of trying to finish applications brings us back to BS apps. They were completed well in advance, but it still was a painful process. Not looking forward to this Spring/Summer.
If you are lucky, your daughter will let you read her essays when they are done.
Yes, I think teens can fight a parent over every comma. Or listen when an English/CG makes a suggestion. I love outsourcing that part of my parental role.
D25’s last supplemental I read and thought her answer was fine, but kind of missed the point and was a missed opportunity to tell a better story. She agreed, but was unwilling to make changes at that point. I think if the suggestion has come from someone else, she would have changed it. Oh well, we were both ready to be done so I didn’t fight that hard.
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Ah, the essays. I do remember that our son’s GC used a process where she’d have one-on-ones with each of her charges after requesting that they come up with few essay ideas but no writing. Then, in subsequent workshops, after topics were firm, she’d ask each to “tell” their essay stories, and she’d help them find their best angles and voice. Once the stories were outlined and had been told until they were cohesive and genuine, they wrote drafts that she and they reviewed until she pronounced them “theirs” to submit. She kept us in this loop, telling us where kiddo was in the process and when he was done. I remember that she also held a Common App “party” once everyone in her group was ready to submit. They hit their buttons together and had pizza and ice cream or something like that. She knew all of our son’s civilian schools and deadlines and kept him on track.
ETA: I thought I’d go back through some of the e-mails from our son’s GC. Here’s an example of an early one:
Dear Parents;
I have enclosed a link to a small article worth sharing as it echoes my thoughts and the philosophy of our office.
I am busy meeting for the second or third time with your children, and getting to know them better as I guide them along the tasks they need to accomplish this spring. Most students have received a “Research and Respond” list—an initial list of colleges to get them going. If they do not already have it, they soon shall have one.
Feel free to set up a meeting with me by phone or in person at your convenience.
Coming up:
April 12—ACT test
April 21—College Fair on campus (parents welcome)
April 28—essay brainstorming assignment due to counselor
May 1—students should complete process for formally requesting 2 academic teacher recommendations
May 2—deadline to register for June SAT or Subject tests
Please keep an eye out for E-Updates, too.
Article: Six Words of Advice for Parents of College-Bound Juniors | HuffPost College
Best wishes!
These group e-mails, along with personal ones informing us specifically how our son was coming along, made us feel confident that she and he had everything in hand. When he dropped the ball, as he did a couple of times, she was on top of it and let us know that a nudge from us wouldn’t hurt.
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Agree that applying to college is easier, in part because the kids are expected to take ownership of the process - and at BS they do - and because most of our schools have excellent CC offices (at least, our school does and from what I’ve read here, others are similar situated). With my oldest, we toured colleges in 11th grade and learned about what he wanted and didn’t want in a school, and then his CC took over and dad and I were pretty much uninvolved the rest of the way. It was fantastic. His BS did the test prep, rode herd on the essay writing process, and made sure DS was meeting all the deadlines for things like recommendations.
Also, for college, I didn’t feel that the stakes were quite as high. We were really focused on getting him in to the 3 private and boarding schools he applied to, and the wait to acceptance day was brutal. With college, he cast a wider net and, with the exception of his far reach college to which he applied ED and was rejected, we would have been happy for him to attend any of the other 11 he applied to. And once the first acceptance was in hand, we were like, "“whew - he is GOING to college.”
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Moving so the thread isn’t hijacked.