<p>Holy crap. I had the craziest sub today, he was this 5 foot tall sixty year old black man with wiry grey hair, a mustache, and he wore a sweater vest. Instead of teaching us about catch 22 he spent the entire class period telling us how Keane West is is first cousin, and Keane bought him his house where he lives (on a golf course) and his Benz, and that in the song "good morning" He is Mr. West. The best part was that he was completely serious about it. I think he has a sever case of alzheimers/dimensia. It was his little lecture. And then today in class, our teacher wanted him to leave like 1/2 page of notes about how we did, and our collected assignment, and the only thing he left for her was a note saying: "good class, thanks". </p>
<p>I had some pretty crazy subs in grammar school One man tucked his shirt into his underpants and asked us repeatedly which animal we would like to be reincarnated as. Another stole two staplers and broke a fliing cabinet in the class room. There was also a sub that would do nothing but tell us riddles… we wouldn’t do any work, he would just give prizes out to the people who could solve the riddles.</p>
<p>On the last day of sixth grade, we had a sub who was supposed to give us a final. We all had pencils, but none of us were really prepared. We hid the pencils, and told the sub we didnt have any. He told us “Well if you don’t have pencils, I can’t give it to you”, and he ended up putting on a movie.</p>
<p>I used to have this huge overweight substitute teacher. And he used to make students go to the vending machine and get him soda, candy and snacks. It was never just one soda, either. It was “bring me three Sprites, two Lays chips, a Twix bar and a Snicker.”
And he’d always ask the class for money for the vending machine.</p>
<p>They bad part was our school was one of those rough inner city-esque schools, so we had lockdowns. If a student was caught in the hall during lock down s/he got automatic 3-day suspension. He would send students out into the hall during lock down - no hall pass and get upset if they got suspended and he didn’t get his meal.</p>
<p>But he was one of those buddy-buddy teachers, so students were usually willing to do things for him.</p>
<p>There’s this one sub that I’ve had every year, kindergarten through senior year (this year), who has only gotten more senile as the years have gone by. He likes to tell stories about his experiences in sports when he was young, and it always involves very famous old basketball players (can’t think of any examples off the top of my head, though I don’t really listen). Of course, when we were in like first grade, we all believed every word he said. Now, not so much. But he’s the nicest little old man I’ve ever met. Despite the fact that these days my classmates and I end up in trouble because his stories prevented us from doing our work, we still all love him.</p>
<p>Other memorable subs include the one who called everyone by the color of, the pattern on, or the words on their shirt (Blue, Stripes, Abercrombie, etc); the one I had in Italian recently that insisted on talking through the movie we were watching, yet yelling at us when we talked; and the sub I had in chem last year that took so long taking attendance on a test day that our teacher ended up throwing out half the questions.</p>
<p>Then there’s also this one guy I’ve had a couple times who looks EXACTLY like Milton from Office Space. Talks and walks like him too. (He also walks with a banana in his front shirt pocket but that’s another story) Funny thing is, one day a classmate was trying to staple some papers only to realize that the staples were out. This guy then came up to him and was like “you having trouble there with that stapler?” Priceless.</p>
<p>yuh. we have 4 different lunch periods at my school, and we unofficially switched from A lunch (first) to D lunch, so when we had a sub she showed up half an hour late, but during that half our, 2 different teachers had come into our classroom and didnt notice we had no teacher or sub</p>
<p>At my school, we have a couple notorious subs.</p>
<p>The one we call “Tokey,” as in the reference to marijuana because she is very… silent. Weird. Unexplainable. She has never told us her name, nor has she ever told the regular teachers her name… no one really knows how she got hired, as she doesn’t do anything the teachers leave in a note.</p>
<p>Another is a little old man who looks like a leprechaun, and he often falls asleep. Really nice if you have him in a small setting, but in a large class, he’s such a dictator.</p>
<p>I’ve had a sub several times who was a complete moron. In 9th grade I had him for Algebra 2. He told the class that if the teacher gives 10 problems, you should do 30. He was also insistent that Indians and Middle Easterners were the smartest and got in several arguments - one about how the student wouldn’t get an A, and the other about the Iraq War. The second day he showed up with his toupee askew. In 10th grade I had him for a PE class. He refused to let us go outside, and, in spite of our uniforms, didn’t seem to understand why we were even asking. In 11th grade he was a sub for my chem class, and as always our teacher had him put on a video. We were playing cards, and a few times we got too loud. Each time he would tell one of us (the person that had been his favorite since 9th grade) to control “their tribe.” The people in the class that weren’t in on the sub’s mad love for this one student were really confused.</p>
<p>Of course I’ve had other crazy subs. It seems like a certain degree of insanity is almost a job requirement.</p>