<p>The answer is E. 100% correct. Sounds less awkward too if you ask me.</p>
<p>^The answer isn’t E. E isn’t even listed.</p>
<p>The answer is C. The comma in D is unnecessary, because it doesn’t separate two clauses. You may say, “Rita Dove, who is an African American writer and teacher, was…” but “African American writer and teacher” alone acts as an adjective and thus doesn’t need a comma</p>
<p>Similarly, you would say “actor [name]” (e.g., “Actor Dustin Hoffman”) because “actor” describes the person. You wouldn’t say: “Actor, Dustin Hoffman was…”</p>
<p>Sorry crazy bandit, I think I was on the wrong question. I meant E for the interview one above with the school board. My mistake. But yes, the answer is C for the question you are talking about. And you beat me to it also, good explanation though, much better than if you had attempted it!</p>
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<p>Yes, the answer is E (as I already explained) for that one, but it is not because it is less awkward. You are not helpful and do not contribute anything but spam to this thread and forum.</p>
<p>Join Date
04-05-2010
Total Posts
2</p>
<p>lol, your most likely just wrecherbob on a new acc</p>
<p>ok, another question. what can i do to boost about 10-score essays to 12? </p>
<p>here is a sample of an essay that I wrote: </p>
<p>PROMPT: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>It is a turbulent time in India, with violence and injustice surrounding the nation. The country is in a time of change, seeking independence from the British forces. You, in an attempt to lead a non-violent revolt, are in the midst of a month-long fast, while you pray and plead for the citizens of India to not raise a hand against the British army. Are you suffering and pleading for fame? For money? For power? Of course not. The struggles of Mahatma Gandhi and Craig Kielburger signify that a clear, strong conscience is a far more powerful motivator that money, fame, or power. They made their choices on the basis of right and wrong, signifying that a clear conscience is the most powerful motivator.</p>
<p>India’s charge for independence was led by the reticent and pacifist leader, Mahatma Gandhi, who was driven by a powerful conscience over money, fame, or power. Gandhi led a non-violent revolt against Britain. He lived by the mantra “an eye for an eye will make the world blind”. He believed that fighting with violence was unacceptable and went on, what seemed like, perpetual fasts at one point in time to further his cause. He was at the butt-end of racial jokes and hatred from the British, yet he persevered through such torture just to deliver his notion of independence through non-violence. Only a strong conscience would lead one to such extremes towards furthering a cause. Gandhi was driven by a strong conscience and nothing more, signifying that a conscience is, indeed, a more powerful motivator than any other.</p>
<p>In what one may consider a more contemporary example of a strong conscience leading a political charge, teenage Craig Kielburger founded Free The Children to further his fight for the eradication of child labor. Craig Kielburger, a teenage Canadian when he founded Free The Children, was motivated to develop what is now an internationally recognized organization when he read an article in the newspaper about a Pakistani boy being killed due to child labor. His conscience led him to develop a small campaign against child labor. Slowly and steadily, Free The Children blossomed into the international influence that it is now. Kielburger was driven by what was right and wrong, not by money, power, or fame. He was just an average adolescent who wanted justice to be served and sought to abolish inhumane child labor from our planet. Kielburger’s ambitious, successful endeavor was led by his conscience and no other influence, showing that such a motivator is paramount over all others.</p>
<p>Gandhi and Kielburger show us that a conscience is indeed the most powerful motivator. They were led by what is right and wrong. The humane side of our species proves to be the most powerful factor and in turn, a greater motivator than all the money, fame, and power in the world.</p>
<p>^that essay was a mediocre one of what I can usually write. I mean, I use creative intro’s like that one, but that intro. was average I guess andmy conclusion kinda sucked. Usually both of those are better. But what score would that get? And what can i do to get a 12.</p>
<p>First of all, the SAT essay’s main purpose isn’t to demonstrate your writing ability. It is to demonstrate your REASONING ability. So it doesn’t matter how long or creative your intro and conclusion are. In fact, you can get a 12 without a conclusion at all. The most crucial part of the intro is the thesis (the statement of your stance and answer to the question). You shouldn’t spend an unnecessary amount of time on the intro; 2-3 sentences can be enough. However, writing an intro as long as yours is fine as long as you aren’t desperately in need of time when you are writing the rest of the essay. And it is definitely a plus to the typical reader who only has 3 minutes to grade your essay. They’d know you put effort into it.</p>
<p>The problem with the first paragraph is that it doesn’t really address the whole of the question. It doesn’t contrast CONSCIENCE and MONEY/FAME/POWER. If anything, it shows that he wanted more power (through revolt, violent or not), as well as fame. Refuting arguments like these and not allowing the reader to develop a counterargument is what makes an essay worthy of a 12. Perhaps you could’ve defined what conscience is (knowing right from wrong), and in turn analyzed how Gandhi could’ve gained money/fame/power had he not done all the things he did, justifying the fact that he picked one over the other.</p>
<p>^wait, crazybandit, i’m confused. why does my first paragraph seem like Gandhi wanted fame/money/power? i tried to write it so that it would make sense that a normal human would not endure such hardships for factors like money, etc., but would only do such things when he is driven by a stronger force: conscience. </p>
<p>Also, are the transitions sentences fine? i’m having a little trouble trying to figure out how to write proper transition sentences. also, are my examples good? are they ‘12-worthy’ examples?</p>
<p>And what score would you give it? And what can I do to improve it to a 12?</p>