<p>So apparently I’m a racist for making this topic. Funny thing is I didn’t even say what race he is. Seriously, I wanted to know if any other people had an experience like this is that so much a problem? Quite frankly, I’m going to be living with this guy for my stay at college so I think it is a fair question. I’m assuming that if everyone is pulling the trigger so fast and calling me a racist that it won’t be that bad.</p>
<p>Also @ AUgirl. Thanks for the response, I really appreciate it.</p>
<p>My dd14 has done 2 summer programs…on both occasions, she was with young women of different races… it was never even an issue for her. I know that this doesn’t compare to college resident life but she still co habitated with someone for several weeks at a time. This is what life is all about… or what it SHOULD be all about!!! Being put into uncomfortable situations AND learning from them! Finding a common ground, celebrating your differences…college is far more than book learning!!! You may find that he becomes a life long friend… IF you give it a chance and not go into it with unfair stereotypes/assumptions… Geez… give the guy a break! I know for a fact how hard it can be to be pre judged due to my race… and its very frustrating/disheartening!</p>
<p>And someone made a comment about hair… that isn’t a race thing… LOL bless your heart… I think that is a “girl” thing…</p>
<p>There’s more to people than the easy stereotypes assigned to a dumb blonde, a jock, a nerd, etc. That’s part of what you learn in college.</p>
<p>I didn’t meet my roomate at all until the first day of college. I always joked that “god, I hope I don’t get some perky cheerleader!” Well, one of the first things she took out of her luggage was a baton. She was a majorette. She dated the quarterback/captain of the football team. She had enough energy and perkiness to fuel a small country.</p>
<p>And she turned out to be one of the best friends I’ve ever had and matron of honor at my wedding. I couldn’t have asked for a better roomate.</p>
<p>You guys could have everything in common. Or not. But his color and athletic ability will have nothing to do with it.</p>
<p>Yes, it’s a girl thing to have hair in the sink. </p>
<p>To OP- It’s natural to be worried about getting along with your room mate. If this is the first time you are going to spend a lot of time with someone who looks different from you- maybe you are just scared of the differences. But it’s just fear of the unknown. FWIW- a room mate could look just like you and the two of you could possibly be incompatible.</p>
<p>You don’t have to be the same as your room mate, and you don’t have to be best friends. In some cases that is better as you can each make new friends without feeling obligated to bring the other one along.</p>
<p>You do have to be considerate of each other and try to get along. It’s a good idea to talk a little about who you are, what you like, your family…Sit down and talk about mutual agreements at the start for things like playing music and video games (get some headphones if the other one likes quiet), sharing food, visitors. keeping the room clean… just nicely get an idea about how each of you feels about sharing living space and what is important to you… and be willing to compromise on the little things. Be respectful of each other’s possessions but also share some stuff. If your mom sends cookies- share them, split a pizza,…</p>
<p>Contact your room mate ahead of time and introduce yourself. Ask about sharing a fridge, microwave… etc and offer to split them…i e you bring carpet,he brings fridge. Tell him where you are from and a bit about your interests- like your major. If you two are totally different- give him the space to be different and don’t judge him. </p>
<p>Chances are, he could be as concerned about rooming with you. Maybe he has never lived with someone like you!!! Put yourself in his shoes- he’s new to college too. You could make the first attempt to contact him. Instead of fear, think of the possibility that you could learn about his background and culture. </p>
<p>Any relationship takes work, consideration, communication. Some things are intolerable- but they are rare. Most things can be worked out, and learning how to do this is part of living with anyone.</p>
<p>Ok, wrong word. My bad, forgot that it’s an offensive term nowadays. Still, it’s stupid to be worried about whether he has the same interest as you by just looking at his Facebook profile. What does it show? His race on his photo and the music/movies he enjoys…? This question is just silly. How about you wait until after you meet him to be worried? The fact is, if they were the same race, there wouldn’t have been a question.</p>
<p>Wait…why is the “funny thing” that we don’t know what race your roommate is, OP? It doesn’t matter what race he is. It’s not like it’s OK for you to dislike certain races. The point is he is a different race from you and that seems to make you uncomfortable.</p>
<p>Wow, my new roommate is 100% different than me, even a different race, and I’m not even slightly worried about that. Matter of fact, we get along fine. If you were completely open to different races, which you should have been if you went to a diverse high school, then that shouldn’t be a problem. Idk, the race thing stood out to me the most so that’s why I’m responding to it.
Don’t judge him off of Facebook though. People act different on Facebook than in real life; you guys might actually end up becoming close friends.</p>
<p>If you grew up around one race for most of your life, you WOULD feel a bit weird living with someone of another race. Yeah you’d probably get over it quickly but those feelings would be there. A black guy from South Central LA might be uncomfortable living with, say, an Asian guy at first. A white guy from rural Alabama might be uncomfortable living with a Hispanic. </p>
<p>Y’all calling him a racist probably didn’t grow up in situations like that. If OP had said “I don’t like the idea of living with him cos of his race” that would be racist. All he said was that he’s wondering if they’ll get along well, and he’s gotten his answer.</p>
<p>In all seriousness, you might find discussing your concerns with a psychologist helpful. I’m not saying something’s wrong with you, but it might help alleviate anxieties and work through any issues you might be having.</p>
<p>I’m a bit wary of this topic, but my roommate & I shared many interests but strongly contrasted politically. We were brought up with very different values but we became best friends (& 3 years running). I highly doubt you will have an issue solely because of race. Even you’re a Muslim of Middle-Eastern descent & he’s Christian, you can work it on. College is meant to bring different people together.</p>
<p>I grew up in rural Louisiana, around about 50/50 black and white people (one of 3 white kids in my elementary school, lived with a black family before, lived with a mexican family before) and I didn’t have problems with my Asian roommmate. </p>
<p>Sorry about your problem. I’m from New York City, very diverse city, as any one who’s from there knows. So I won’t be having any problems with race/nationality. This city really prepares you to become friends with just about any one. I’ve met a lot of people from different races and got along with them. Just forget about race, we’re all people in the end.</p>
<p>I think it is harsh to call the OP racist. That can mean a lot. Perhaps he has not experienced a diverse environment and is being honest about his feelings and asking for advice. He has not been critical of his room mate- nor is he unwilling to be his room mate. He could be nervous about a new situation. His room mate could be just as worried about moving in with him.
This could end up great for both of them. OP could realize that his fears are totally unfounded and any preconceived ideas are wrong. He posted here for advice on how to make it work.
This could be a great learning opportunity. Instead of calling him racist- people here who are comfortable with diversity can reassure him… yes… we are all people, and the “rules” for getting along with a room mate: consideration, communication, and tolerance apply to everyone.</p>
<p>Leaving aside the question of if this is racist or not, you don’t actually have to have anything in common with your roommates. I was in a triple freshman year. The three of us had NOTHING in common. We hung out a lot the first few days, but then we slowly realized that we were nothing like each other and drifted apart, each of us making a different set of friends. Despite this, we actually got along well as roommates, after we set down a few basic ground rules. We also did our best to bring issues we had with each other, rather than letting them fester. We were probably less afraid of offending each other because we weren’t close friends.</p>
<p>TL;DR: You don’t have to be bffs with your roommate. Just respect each other.</p>
<p>Oh, God. The OP is not racist for simply being a bit worried about his new roommate. I mean were all a bit nervous at this new point in our lives. I’m African American and I can honestly say that if I had a roommate of another ethnicity (which I do), she might find some of my interest, values, habits a bit different than her own. For instance, I don’t wash my hair every day or every week for that matter (and many women of color don’t) because I’d end up damaging my hair by stripping its natural oils. However most other people outside women of color might find this odd or even unhygienic when that’s not even the case. We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life and what may seem normal to some may be odd for others. The color of ones skin may seem useless to some but in reality it influences many cultural and social aspects of life. I think the OP needs to view the situation with an open mind (not saying that he/she isn’t) because he doesn’t exactly know what type of person is roommate is.</p>
<p>Realize just because someone is a specific race doesn’t mean they fit their racial stereotypes or even associate themselves with their culture. I am Hispanic, but I do not speak spanish or know anything about Hispanic culture at all. By looks you wouldn’t think so, but I don’t consider my personality to even remotely fit the Hispanic mold. So just keep in mind that no matter what race they are, they might live the same exact lifestyle as you. And if not, then you will learn about a new culture. Please just don’t immediately stereotype.</p>
<p>Would it be correct to guess that you went to high school in an area where there were few or no members of your roommate’s racial/ethnic group around?</p>
<p>Of course, all of the people who are members of minority racial/ethnic groups will be puzzled by your thread, since having a roommate of a different racial/ethnic group is the common case for them, although it may not be for white students attending a school in New England.</p>
<p>I don’t think the OP is racist but like others have suggested is just unfamiliar with other races in addition to being friends with kids who have different interests. From the posts I see here it seems that simply going to college is enough to stress out most kids, so the idea of facing someone you think won’t have anything in common with you probably really freaks a few people out. </p>
<p>That said, OP IS concerned about race or it wouldn’t be in his title. It might be daunting, but he needs to take a deep breath and just talk to the person and get to know him. It’s not true that roommates are your future best friends. They are people who you need to respect and get along with, nothing more. I was closer friends with other people in my dorms or classes than my roommates, but we respected each other and that made it work. </p>
<p>My 12 yo D was at a college campus-based camp this summer and she is a minority. She was one of three black kids in the entire camp and naturally had a non-black roommate for the first time ever. While she bonded deeply with the one other black girl, she and her roommate found enough in common to have a great time, even if she did have to explain why she didn’t wash her hair every day.</p>